Lisa's Story - Page 91 - ThinnerTimes

LisaBoston · 10-03-2008, 04:53 PM

Hi van, great to see you here too! Had a few moments in the hotel before I head to class, so checking in to see everyone. Hugs. Lisa

Vim&Vigour · 10-04-2008, 02:23 AM

Hej Lisa,
My inspiration!
Good to see you name in active circulation!
Have a great weekend and keep up the good work!
Gently does it!
Keep well!
Cheers,
Vim

LisaBoston · 11-03-2008, 02:01 PM

So, I have to put a disclaimer first..........NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS did I think I would admit to this....but.....

Well, we read all the time about loosing weight and how it changes us personally and that our better half is no longer interested in us or that we change so much that we get more self asteen and go looking elsewhere...well, it has happened to me.

I have been married 15 years and even though we have our ups and downs, it always bounces back, until 3 weeks ago. I was out of town on business and had a panic 911 call from my 11 year old...she was scrapping with my husband. Yelling and swearing and all the other crap that goes along with it. I was beside myself. I had to get a friend to go get her and take her out of the house. Up to this point, I was always saying that "we were working on the issues". Well this was the icing on the cake and I felt like I didn't want to work at it anymore.

I would like to say that my weight isn't a factor, but I would be lying to myself and everyone else. I would like to blame my husbands drinking, his anger and moods on the issues, and although these are the big factors to me, I know I have to take responsibility for it.

To make matters worse, my old - x-boyfriend, the other love of my life called me a few years back and we have been in contact. He clouds the issues, but in no way is putting pressures, and in fact says that he loves me, but doesn't want me to leave my relationship "for him".

Its not that I can't stand on my own, but I am seriously looking for work back where my family lives (14 hours away from here) and back to city life. I will take the daughter with me.

My husband moved into the basement 9 days ago, sleeping down there and going out all weekend. He has been at the bar, out for dinners and basically saying that he is single and living the single life.

He said some very hurtful, nasty things that nobody should ever say, let alone say them to your wife. When one comment didn't hurt me, he would find another even calling me a fat b****.......hmmm interesting calling me that, when I weight 155 pounds.......

There is WAY more to the story, but for now, things are changing daily and I just wanted to share with you.

Cinerbelle · 11-03-2008, 02:10 PM

Lisa - I am sooo sorry that you are going through this. I have no great words of wisdom, but I will be thinking of you!

paige52 · 11-03-2008, 02:16 PM

Lisa... I'm sorry seems inadequate and yet I am so very sorry to hear this. it sounds like once again, without the insulation of fat our life problems come bubbling to the surface.

No sage words of advice except be smart and take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally.

I will be thinking about you and prayng for a good resolution to all of this!

Paige

CyndieBeltran · 11-03-2008, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaBoston

So, I have to put a disclaimer first..........NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS did I think I would admit to this....but.....

...

There is WAY more to the story, but for now, things are changing daily and I just wanted to share with you.

Lisa -

I am so sorry to hear of all of this. It is so hard to be open, especially with strangers, about all the sadness going on in your life. I think, especially as women, we try to hide the bad things from others because we want people to think our lives are just wonderful & perfect. Having been through some tough times myself, I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you to be true to yourself and that if your husband does not love you for who you are, you are better off without him. It sounds like you're a pretty smart cookie and tougher than you think you are. You sound like a lovely lady and you're beautiful too, so hang in there and if you need anything, well you know you have a vast support system out here in webland. Good luck my friend and please keep us posted because many of us will be worried - which just goes to show how many people your words have touched. We may not know you in person, but we are here for you in spirit. Take care,

Cyndie

Nyn · 11-03-2008, 03:25 PM

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It sounds like it would be great if you could move closer to your family. I know that there is no comfort in the world like that offered by family (whether chosen or blood). Best of luck to you in making this transition. I'm glad you seem to be calm in the face of hurtful words, because I think we all know you are anything but a fat b****!!! You are lovely and wise and deserve better. Please let us all know how you are holding up in the days ahead.

Vim&Vigour · 11-03-2008, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paige52

Lisa... I'm sorry seems inadequate and yet I am so very sorry to hear this. it sounds like once again, without the insulation of fat our life problems come bubbling to the surface.

No sage words of advice except be smart and take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally.

I will be thinking about you and prayng for a good resolution to all of this!

Paige

My Dearest Lisa,

Paige has expressed so well what I wish to say.
It is interesting how our lives are as resiliant as they are vulnerable. Find your own sense of right and balance so that you may be healthy and strong for all 3 of you. WLS has "empowered" you - use your new found strength wisely and with compassion. We are all here to support you the best we can. May all go for the very best in these difficult times for you.
Big hugs,
Vim

OsoDelDesierto · 11-03-2008, 03:42 PM

Lisa, it's good to see you posting again, even though you have troubles to relate. I'm so sorry about what's going on with your marraige - I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers. Whatever you decide, please know how highly you are valued and that you have lots of support here on TT, as well as in your RL...

Sue H · 11-03-2008, 04:10 PM

Lisa,

I have not been here lately, but when I came today, I was greatly saddened by your situation.

You and your family are in my prayers.