We'll see how it goes - Page 4 - ThinnerTimes

QueenB · 11-25-2005, 11:37 AM

Well Turkey day was nice. We all went to my parents new house, that is still unfurnished, and ate at card tabels and folding chairs. It was nice, the kids had lots of room to play and the community they live in has a fish pond where you can feed the fish. My paretns took the kids for a walk and I layed down for about an hour. My husband showed up after work arond 4:30 and we started cooking all over again for him......ok not cooking but reheating. Then we hung out some more, I looked at the sale fliers and specials and gabbed with my Mom and the kids and DH (darling husband) watched cartoons. It was relaxing.

I read and added to the "How bad were you?" thread and here is what I posted and it shows how much I was able to eat.

My pouch must be the size of a grapefruit! We had dinner around 1pm. I had 1/2 a baby carrot cooked, 4-5 cut string beans, 1 tbsp butternut squash, 2 tbsp potatoes, 1 tbsp stuffing (both with a little gravy) and a couple of bites of turkey. Then around 4 I started grazing (as in I didn't make a plate but not a in it lasted for hours or more) the leftovers: a bite or 2 of squash and potatoes but mostly focusing on turkey dipped in gravy.....we had 2 turkeys and the first was very dry so I picked some moister meat off the second one. Then at about 7pm I had 2 tbsp of SF pumpkin pie filling and a mouth full of FF whipped cream. My mom keeps telling me that I hardly ate anything compared to my 2 year old and compared to myself last year I ate NOTHING but I feel compared to some of the others on here that I ate way more than I should have and without feeling a twinge of pain and no sign of dumping. I think I'll take my Mom's advice and stop comparing and start working my own life but as much as I hear you can't NOT loose I still feel like I will be the 1st one!

Just looking at that makes me disgusted with myself on one hand and proud on the other. I see some of the people ate next to nothing, leading me to feel bad about the amount I ate.....but eating that little will lead me to anorexia very quickly-I know from experience. Then the fact that I was satisfied with the amount I ate and not "needing" to eat tons more to feel good makes me happy and shows me the power of the tool.

I am not struggling with being sick or knowing when to stop or what to eat I am really struggling with what my head is telling me. I feel like I will never be doing "good enough" for myself. Go figure?

QueenB · 11-26-2005, 12:19 PM

Well I am down to 215 this morning. WOO-HOO. I still can't figure out how but I'll take it

I had pizza with the fam last night. I ordered a personal size with lots of meat and then picked all the cheese and meat off and ate that without the crust. Of course it took me the entire meal to eat the toppings off of 2 slices (very small personal pizza size slices) while my 10 year old son ate 4 peices and my 23 month old daughter ate 2

I had some left over for breakfast andi am trying to get my pouch relaxed enough to drink my water. It takes a few sips and a little soreness before it relaxes and accepts the room temp water but once it does I can drink almost an entire 1.5 liter bottle in less than 1/2 hour.........is that normal. It doesn't seem normal but like I said in another post, I think I have a super sized pouch.

On a more personal note, my children-more specifially my 10 year old and 5 year old sons, are driving me up a wall! Whom ever though that childen needed 11 days off for Thanksgiving obviously DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN! My 10 year old, Kaden, has become the biggest tattle tale in the world even telling on incidences that don't even involve him GGRRR!!! He also tries to repremand the younger kids like he is an authority figure. It is making me insane. As soon as someone gets in trouble he starts in with rehashing exactly what happened and saying things like "yeah, you shouldn't have done that, you could have hurt someone......." It isn't his place and I can't get him to understand that. What I understand, from talking with friends, is: this isn't abnormal but it is irritating none the less!

Done venting

QueenB · 11-26-2005, 03:12 PM

I thought i'd show off my beautiful kiddies that are driving me insane

The oldest in the back is Kaden, yes HE is a BOY! He is 10
To the right of him is Logan and YES he has a MOHAWK

He is 5
In the front left is Lili, she is 3.
Ava is the baby and she will be 2 next month.

***Sorry guys but I noticed 50 hits on this thread in one day and I felt weird that 50 people looked at my kids and only 2 people posted a response. If you want to see just PM me and I will show you.***

coptergirl · 11-26-2005, 03:15 PM

What adorable cutie pies, Brittany!!!

sandi · 11-26-2005, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenB

I thought i'd show off my beautiful kiddies that are driving me insane

The oldest in the back is Kaden, yes HE is a BOY! He is 10
To the right of him is Logan and YES he has a MOHAWK

He is 5
In the front left is Lili, she is 3.
Ava is the baby and she will be 2 next month.

Your children are just beautiful, Brittany!! What a precious picture!
And I love their names!

QueenB · 11-27-2005, 08:14 PM

I'm wearing jeans, I'm wearing jeans!!!!! I have been so cold lately that I had to try on jeans today.....pulling them out of the closet wasn't fun. I am definitely a shorts and flip-flop kind of girl. I did get the first pair I pulled out on *grin* It was at the top of the pile and I am sure that as I go down through the pile the sizes will get smaller

So I wore my jeans and Uggs out to dinner and sat comfortably, not constricted and not sweating......can this get any better?

Three nights in a row I have had dinner out with my family. Friday it was pizza.....just the toppings and cheese. Last night I had a chef salad......just ate some of the meat and eggs out of it with vinegar, salt and pepper. I can't wait until I can eat the actual salad.....I was kind of salad freak before surgery. Tonight was some kind of grilled club sandwich. I ate the turkey and ham out of about 1/4 of it, a couple of bites of pickle and picked the crust off of a mozzarella stick. I am so full though, I only had a bite of the grilled side of the bread but I think it is what made me this full. Not sick-full but I-want-to-undo-my-pants-full LOL Some day I hope I will get that 6th sence of what one more bite will make me feel like.

I feel kind of bad (but not really) because I had the waitress take my plate before my DH could eat any more of the fries off of it. I was kind of grossed out again at the amount he ate. He ordered the mozzarella sticks and ate 5 of them*with ranch*then he had steak and coconut shrimp, garlic mashed potatoes (about 2 cups), vegatbles and garlic bread. Then, after I handed off my plate, he ate all of our sons fries, the crusts form his grilled cheese and some of the kids deserts. I actually said to him...."Did you notice how much you have eaten already? You don't need to eat the kids food too." He got really pissed. Whatever, I don't know how much I enjoy going out to dinner when I have to watch people act like they aren't eating for the next month and that they have to eat as fast as possible for fear someone might steal their food away. Thank God my 3 younger children eat slow and stop when they are full but I have to work with Kaden. He eats like he is in a race and tends to eat when he is bored or for emotional reasons, I hope I can help him with that.

So back to the jeans and me being cold.....WTF is up with that? I sat in my PJ's on the couch under my 60oz down comforter and my toes would still not warm up

Am I destined to be the chilly chick. LOL

I haven't been waking up all sweaty anymore. I can actually take a shower at night and not look like a grease-ball in the moring. But that also means my hair is alot drier than it has been...maybe time to cut some length off.

I don't know what realistic goals are. You know I see people saying i'd like to loose this amount of weight by New Years or be down such and such by my 3 month mark.......how do you know what is possible and realistic and what is going to break your spirit? How about a goal weight without any date? That seems attainable but not much to actually look forward too or count down too. I am taking suggestions on what my first weight goal should be for New years. I am thinking being down to 205, which is about 10lbs in 4 weeks, is something that is doable and any less than that would be kind of dissappointing. Since I was considered a "lightweight" and I dropped 25lbs in the first 10 days (still kind of amazing to me) I am figuring that the weightloss will probably be slower for here on out. SUGGESTIONS!

I was thinking in the shower today....since I was actually in there alone (my girls usually get in and play on the floor which make it less that relaxing)....and I realise that I am having a hard time enjoying the GIFT of an uneventful surgery. I am still very nervous about getting a stricture and then reading the post about having staple line break down at 6 weeks....I was told, at my pre-op, that by 3 weeks the stomach is completely healed, the scar tissue has completely covered the staples and your stomach is just as strong, if not stronger, than before surgery. I thought that tomorrow would be a milestone, 3 weeks out, kind of letting me breathe easier knowing my little pouch was as good as new. Guess not

Then I have about 3 more weeks left to worry about a stricture.......because most happen before the 6 week mark. So here I am, blessed beyond normal blessings, not having any sickness, any pain, any food aversions, no gagging, no throwing up, no nothing and all I can think is "what if?"

Damn mind games

Blueyz · 11-27-2005, 08:22 PM

Brittany,
Sounds like you are doing just fine. Yes, the mind plays tricks on us and for some reason I think a lot more than I did prior to surgery. It is like I have more time to think and not always be stuffing my face with food. Food consumed my life before surgery....now life is consuming me. It is the greatest ride.

I agree with you on the kid thing...my kids are on Turkey break from school and are driving me crazy. I am recovering from a terrible surgery that was supposed to be a simple outpatient that turned into inpatient and a lot of pain. My kids don't help with their wildness, but do help when I need something, so I guess I can't complain. I only have 3... Ages 13, 12, and 5...I don't know how I could handle any more.

Keep up the great job and enjoy every losing day...it is so awesome. And the coldness...well, I can say that I just keep getting colder and have to wear layers of clothes.

QueenB · 11-27-2005, 10:01 PM

Dale,

I have been praying for you. I can't even imagine what you have been through in the last few months. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my journal and reply....I am sure you have tons of insight to offer and I may just pick your brain every now and then.

Be well

Jeanie · 11-27-2005, 10:41 PM

I can't really give you any good advice on setting goals for yourself. All I can tell you is don't worry about what other people are losing. That will drive you nuts. My first goal was to be under 200. I didn't set a time limit I just wanted that to happen, and when it did I cried!! You are doing fine. Keep up the good work, and it will all happen for you!! As far as being cold I was always cold before, but now I freeze!! Get used to it.

coptergirl · 11-28-2005, 12:45 AM

Brittany...

I have been reading your journal...thanks for being so candid and open with us. Even if we don't actually post, we read, and cheer you on.

Please don't compare yourself to others. I know it is what we tend to do, but it can only be a set up to make you feel like a failure, which you are NOT. You are doing terrific. This is a major life change...you can't expect one surgery and a few weeks to change our mindset since it has taken years for that mindset to build up. Be patient with yourself, and give yourself time. Celebrate the "little" accomplishments (and I use that term loosely, because they are all major!) like your jeans!!!!!!! Like not sweating in them!!! Like not sweating at night!! These are all accomplishments that need to be acknowledged along the way, not just how much the scale has moved since the last try.

You are doing great, and I am very proud of you. I will be lurking and cheering you on!!!!!