Soccer Grandma - my story this far.... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Highlandlass · 09-12-2009, 08:11 PM

There are so many wonderful writers here with great stories of their journeys from way before their weight loss surgeries, through the recuperations and, in some cases, to their goals (or thereabouts). My skills at writing may not be as honed as some, but I would love to share my story thus far.
As with many of you, my life has been up and down in the scale department. After having my four children I really began a battle with weight gain and the whole yoyo syndrome. I could lose a few pounds, then put them back on at one sitting. In 1999 I managed, with the help of Weight Watchers to lose 85 lbs, but put them back on plus a few more in a short time.
After the death of my parents and the marriage of my last child at home, I began a fast spiral into depression, anxiety and paranoia. I finally had to give up the job I loved and go on disability mainly because I could not make it through the day without panic attacks, bouts of tears and so many other strange and debilitating problems. I took to my bed and ate to fill the void I felt.
In February of this year (2009) I suffered from a mini-stroke and while in the hospital I was scheduled for an ultrasound on my corotid arteries. While performing this a small lump was found on my thyroid gland. Nothing to worry about, but my thyroid meds had to be increased. Acid reflux was also another problem I encountered and during a gastroscopy it was determined that I had a rather large hiatus hernia. On my visit with the surgeon he suggested that while he was repairing the hernia he could do a gastric bypass, and, big surprise, it would be covered by OHIP, the government hospital insurance plan here in Ontario. I did some research and returned to the surgeon's office and gladly accepted the surgery. Here in Ontario, Canada things moved along much quicker than they do in the States - I saw the surgeon, the nutritionist, my own family doctor and before I knew it was scheduled for surgery at the end of June. The date was moved ahead which was great news to me, so on June 15, 2009 I had my laproscopic Gastric Bypass and spent 4 days in the hospital. I can hardly believe that I actually underwent the surgery already and am on my way to a more healthy and active life.
Not being totally sure how my grown children or hubby would take the news, I waited till the week before the surgery to "come clean" with them and to my surprise, they were all totally supportive and excited for me.
Luckily, because I did not have open surgery, I seemed to recuperate quickly (approximately 2 weeks of really feeling yukky). I do have "dumping" sometimes, and have issues with getting enough protein in during the day, but find that this site offers so much support and so many ideas for filling up that I can't go a day without reading something in one of the forums. It is great to have support from those who have been where I was, have undergone the surgery and totally understand some of the frustrations and can share the highs and lows that we all seem to experience in life and weight loss.
So far I have had great success after the surgery (may God allow me to stay on this road to good living). In February I was at my all time high of 292. By surgery date I was 260.5 and today I weighed in at 238. Walking is easier, sleeping is better and enjoying life is wonderful. There are still times when anxiety and depression creep up on me, but not as often as pre-surgery. As a matter of fact, I was at a soccer tournament today (during the worst times I would not leave the house at all) where my 5 yr. old granddaughter was playing. My grandson and I kicked the ball around together during the time between games. My son commented that he had not seen me as active in years -- did I ever feel good! Going through my closet and discarding the too-big clothes was another thrill.
This is just the beginning -- I look forward to long walks, more playing with the kids and wonderful comments from my family members. Best of all I feel confident and happy with myself. Here's to good health and happiness - cheers!!!!

poet_kelly · 09-12-2009, 08:26 PM

Sounds like you are doing really well since surgery. I am also on disability for depression, so I know what that's like. My depression has actually gotten a lot better since my surgery, although I'm not entirely sure why. Is yours better since your surgery?

Kelly

Highlandlass · 09-12-2009, 08:53 PM

Hi Poet Kelly, thanks for reply. Depression is very debilitating and, I am almost afraid to say it, but I do feel much better since surgery. I take Prozac and have for over a year now but never felt as good as I do now. Could it be that my mind is just busier with "good" thoughts now that my scale is creeping downwards??? Am I just preoccupied with things other than the what to eat next??? I'm not sure why I feel better, but am thankful that I do. What about you - why do you think you feel happier and less depressed?
Talk soon, till then, all the best.

poet_kelly · 09-13-2009, 08:30 AM

I don't really know why my depression has improved so much since my surgery. I was actually worried it might get worse for a while, since depression seems kind of common after WLS for many people. But it definitely has only improved. I think part of it might be just eating healthier in general. Poor nutrition can play a role in depression, I think. For a while I was exercising regularly, and that is supposed to help depression a lot, too, but I admit I have not been exercising lately and I still feel good, so that's certainly not all of it. I think it has been empowering to me to take control of my health, and maybe that has helped. Maybe I even absorb my antidepressants better now that I'm not so heavy. Although I know malabsorption is an issue and some people seem to have trouble absorbing their medication and have to adjust the dose after surgery. So I really just don't know. I'm really happy about it, though!

Kelly

Highlandlass · 09-13-2009, 08:56 AM

I wish I could say exercise has helped me, but I haven't really been exercising yet. I plan to begin long walks when the weather gets a little cooler - very soon now. I also feel much better, generally, in the spring summer and fall than I do in the winter - SAD - seasonally affected disorder - perhaps. Hopefully my good moods will linger into the winter months and for a long time into the future.
Talk soon - be happy!

Highlandlass · 09-14-2009, 05:58 PM

When I woke up this morning I had a strange yearning for chocolate so decided to add a bit of chocolate drink powder to my morning protein shake - wrong choice. Boy did I get sick. The nausea was horrible and then the deep heat that brought on the sweats. I've dumped before but this was just the worst!!!! Of course it passed, but then an hour later - oooops I had to run to the washroom. Here I thought I was making a good choice having my chocolate in my protein shake but the pouch said Oh No You're Not!!! I won't be making that mistake again.
I have been looking for the Torani syrups here in Toronto but haven't had any luck yet. Anyone out there know where I can get them here. I will be ordering on line, but if I can save the delivery charges, well, money in pocket is better than money in someone else's.
Today I tried having a few pistachios and they went down well! I can have them as a nice crunchy snack when I crave the crunch.
One thing I'm still having a problem with is getting in all the liquids. That is tough. I'm not really sold on Crystal Light and plain water is okay but I tire of it. I'll keep working at it though.

Highlandlass · 09-15-2009, 10:51 AM

Strange day today - I went to the hospital this morning for my blood work but didn't read the top of the requisition where in tiny wee letters it said "fasting" - well I had eaten my yoghurt and 1/2 a boiled egg so I have to return tomorrow. Before leaving I thought I would make the trip worthwhile so headed to the Second Cup on the first floor - walked up all the stairs and was not winded!!!! I ordered my Skinny Vanilla Lattee and, there behind the counter, was the Torani Syrup I've been hunting for all over Toronto. I was able to get the bottle for $13.95 - I would pay that if I ordered from Amazon.com + the shipping. I was totally happy and the server smiled along with me. As I exited the hospital people were giving me a strange look - then I realized I was smiling, tripping along and the bottle looked like a bottle of white wine. I must have looked ready for de-tox!!!! Next time I'll bring my plain brown paper bag along with me.
I am now sipping my vanilla protein with a shot of the syrup and mmmm mmmm mmmm, it is delicious. I will be looking at the recipes and trying some. Later everyone!

Shetaz0028 · 09-15-2009, 11:46 AM

Hi there sweets,

I love the "wine" induced smiling leaving the hospital.

As with most around here I too have been fighting the depression demon. I can feel mine getting a bit better each day. I am still taking my meds though and will not get off them until I am done evaluating myself and the reasons I was driven to food. This journey is not just about losing weight but, discovering the reasons for putting it on in the first place and what we were "hiding" from. True I have not had a day that I was not able to get out of bed since surgery but, I do still have days of crying hysterics until I pass out.

The most important thing to always remember is you are never alone. You may not know my voice or my laugh but, I am always here for you as is everyone else around here.

You are doing wonderfully so far and I know will do just as amazing 3 years from now. Just remember to take each day/moment as it comes and not to beat yourself up for mistakes. As I have always told my children "I do not expect perfection. I expect mistakes that makes you human. But, the same action repeated knowing the consequences makes it a conscience effort and is no longer a mistake".

Highlandlass · 09-15-2009, 12:34 PM

Now you have me sniffling. Thanks for the kind words and the offer of support through this journey. Depression is a nasty, debilitating illness, that is for sure. I know what you mean about those hysterically crying episodes but, thank God, they are less frequent now. I had to give up the job I loved - head secretary at our neighbourhood school (18 yrs there). My work life was also my social life but I soon found out who my friends were vs my colleagues. Its funny how people shun those with mental illnesses. How is depression/anxiety/panic/bi polar any different than any other disease? I really began to appreciate my real friends and family much more - so some good came of it all.
I am really enjoying T.T. and the support we get here. I love reading through others postings and seeing that we are having the same trials and tribulations. I know that no questions is a stupid question here and that we can be truly honest with each other and we won't be shunned. People sometimes look at overweight people as lazy, stupid, unclean and that hurts too. My boss (principal) was really an overweight phobic and was mean making my work day miserable and unbearable. He himself was not in his healthy weight range, but seemed to take out his frustrations on me and any of the staff who were overweight. Being in the office with this creep for 7 hrs/day was just too much and my self confidence suffered. I managed to go through 18 months but, soon I was shaking all the time, sick to my stomach, taking Lorazepam constantly and, yes, eating everything in site - I think a few little students went missing - did I eat them too???? hahaha I have thought of returning to work now that that guy moved on, but just the thought of it makes me sick all over again, so with the advise and backing of my doctor, I am remaining on disability. At 59 I sure don't want to look for new employment, and my hubby retired this year so we can get away together any time.
I'm rambling on and on, when all I wanted to do was thank you for your input. Let's keep in touch.
Cheers! Rhonda

Highlandlass · 09-15-2009, 06:09 PM

Now, someone tell me just what was I thinking? I just got myself a chocolate chip cookie and ate the darned thing - I'm paying the price right now with that terrible squeemish feeling. Bad, bad choice. New day tomorrow without cookies in sight. Thanks hubby for even bringing them into the house!