Henry's story, not close to over. A story of pain. - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Debz · 09-08-2009, 02:33 PM

Oh dear. I am so sorry to hear of your awful experience. How incredibly sad. I can so understand your negativity towards the surgery that I feel saved my life. I had a very close friend who had a very similar experience with a very different sort of surgery. (He went in for a minor lung surgery and wound up in the ICU for months afterward.)

My post isn't to change your mind in any way at all. I am sure that no amount of reading someone else's idea on an internet forum is going to change your feelings. I just wanted to validate your feelings. Have you considered finding a therapist to help you navigate the difficult emotional issues that you're facing? I know that the friend I mentioned earlier found talking was an important part of his recovery.

Again, my heart goes out to you. I wish you happiness from the bottom of my heart.

jerseygrl684 · 09-08-2009, 02:37 PM

I have to add... I can't imagine what you are going through. There are people who have had struggles with wls complications and issues, myself being one of them. I find it VERY hard to connect with many who do understand what i'm going through, but you need to focus your energy in a positive light.

Instead of anti-wls organizations, what about educating more people on risks and such? I realize that more and more people are blindly being given this surgery and i'm trying to channel my negative feelings on my issues more towards opening their eyes to other sides of WLS.

GTR-Mark · 09-08-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HenrySanDiego

I would be more prone to standing aside if I heard even a few voices of opposition, but this community is more resistant to hearing the full story than any I am aware of.

I empathize with the fact some people see this as their only salvation, however I believe if equal dollars were spent on actual physical training for exercise and eating and psychological therapy a fair number of cases could have safer results.

If you want to focus your energy to decrease the number of surgeries, a good place to start would be with preventative insurance coverage which you mention above. For most people, insurance and/or their employers do not offer these benefits. They would rather pay for $50,000-100,000 for surgery than cover your $25/mo gym membership or $1500 in personal training. I suppose they worry about abuse, but this is a good place for you to put your energy.

GTR-Mark · 09-08-2009, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerseygrl684

While there is all sorts of rights when it comes to free speech and the internet, this is borderline slander.

Slander is spoken words so I think you mean libel. And it is only libel if what was said was false.

jerseygrl684 · 09-08-2009, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GTR-Mark

Slander is spoken words so I think you mean libel. And it is only libel if what was said was false.

You are too quick, i was going to edit that just now...... it isn't like this is a publically run site, it is paid for and admin-ed by the Callery's.

I would love to hear this guy's story, but i'm pretty sure this is a giant lawsuit in the making.

HenrySanDiego · 09-08-2009, 02:55 PM

Hi all,

I think I said before, but will again, I am not entirely opposed to wls. I feel that surgeons as the sheep hearders and fluff shavers and housers of sheep is a hard equation that one might find true openness.

It is simply impossible without some outside views to get the full picture is all I am saying, I think people need to take into account many factors not offered by surgeons. full stop.

henry

PS I am not gonna be sucked into this further. I know my view is not popular. I will check back in a week or two and see if anyone says something interesting. I don't plan to fan the flames.

bye

jerseygrl684 · 09-08-2009, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HenrySanDiego

Hi all,

I think I said before, but will again, I am not entirely opposed to wls. I feel that surgeons as the sheep hearders and fluff shavers and housers of sheep is a hard equation that one might find true openness.

It is simply impossible without some outside views to get the full picture is all I am saying, I think people need to take into account many factors not offered by surgeons. full stop.

henry

PS I am not gonna be sucked into this further. I know my view is not popular. I will check back in a week or two and see if anyone says something interesting. I don't plan to fan the flames.

bye

You obviously are very one-sided and not open to hearing anyone views that slightly differ from your own. That or you simply can't read that some of us UNDERSTAND AND AGREE WITH YOU.

It's easy for you to say "diet and exercise" now. You had a bad experience with wls, nonetheless you had wls to lose weight. It's very hard to take you seriously based on that alone...

I'm sorry that you had issues, but remember this is an elective surgery. No one held a gun to your head forcing you to do this. It does come with risks, and making people aware of those risks, and scaring them from doing it... are 2 totally different things.

GTR-Mark · 09-08-2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerseygrl684

You are too quick, i was going to edit that just now...... it isn't like this is a publically run site, it is paid for and admin-ed by the Callery's.

I would love to hear this guy's story, but i'm pretty sure this is a giant lawsuit in the making.

If what the guy says is true - I would think a lawsuit in the other direction is more likely..

tallbaugh · 09-08-2009, 08:24 PM

Henry,

I'm so sorry about the pain and suffering that your surgery caused you. It sounds like a nightmare. I hope that you can find relief for your pain, and comfort for your soul.

But, it sounds to me like what you're suffering from is MORE than just complications of the surgery itself. You mention, on several occasions, that you had no support, and the person that you had authorized as your POA was not allowed to fulfill his duty as such. You also state that the hospital staff would not allow him to come in and be your advocate.

The fact that your designated support person was not allowed to fulfill his duty because he was "run off from the hospital because he is so timid" is just that. That is an issue that you should bring up with the hospital staff and patient advocate. But, when I read your stories you always tie the two together, that of WLS and improper handling of your support person. Perhaps your decision to appoint a POA that was too "timid" to do his job has something to do with it.

Is Dr. Callery directly to blame for the $8000. in checks that were sitting in your mailbox that did not get deposited? Was his staff to blame? Or perhaps, did you fail to make arrangements with your roommate/POA in case you had to stay in the hospital longer than expected?

You also state that you thought the staff working at Dr. Callery's office was a "mixed bag." If you had so many reservations regarding the doctor and his staff why did you proceed with the surgery?

Henry, all I'm trying to say is that you seem to be putting the blame on everyone else here, except for yourself. If all of your questions regarding surgery and post op recovery were not answered, did you take it upon yourself to seek the answers from elsewhere?

I would never try to minimize the pain you went through, and are suffering with daily. I can't even imagine how you must feel. If you feel the need to advocate alternatives to WLS then by all means do it. But, there seems to be more issues that you are dealing with then just the surgery itself.

Pick your battles wisely, and figure out with whom your anger should be directed toward. Is it the surgeon? His staff? The hospital staff? Your POA?

I wish you well and hope you can find some solace from your pain and suffering.

poet_kelly · 09-08-2009, 08:40 PM

Yeah, I'm very concerned that the hospital didn't allow your support person to visit you often and seemed to ignore the fact that he was legally your POA. Was that a health care power of attorney or just a regular durable power of attorney? Either way, they should have encouraged you to have support while you were in the hospital, whether the person actually had legal standing or not.

I've been in the hospital a couple times lately, and my partner that I live with and I are not legally married. He is my health care power of attorney, however. When I had my gastric bypass, of course he was at the hospital with me. And they had copies of my Living Will and DPOA documents. They were very supportive about him being there with me. They asked if he was going to spend the night. They were going to get him a cot if he wanted to stay.

A few weeks after my gastric bypass, I had really bad pneumonia and was in the hospital for several weeks. I was on a respirator for a few days because I couldn't breathe on my own. When I went to the ER, it didn't occur to me to bring my Living Will and DPOA papers with me. This was a different hospital, so they didn't have those documents. But I told them Mike was my DPOA and they just accepted that. Again, they got him a cot so he could spend the night with me a couple times (he didn't stay the whole time I was in the hospital, but he did stay a couple nights). They consulted him about my care when I was too out of it to be consulted myself. They kept him informed about my condition. And that's exactly what a hospital should do.

I hope you are addressing these issues with the hospital you were at. They really don't have anything to do with having WLS per se. They are issues that could affect anyone in the hospital.

Kelly