Hey everyone. I really love this site and everyone has made me feel incredibly welcome despite my young age and not being located in the San Diego area. I figured it was time to share my story with ya'll.
Ok so where to start. I was a very skinny child up until I was about 7 years old. At 7, my mom had hit her all time high of 300 lbs and my mindset was that I was supposed to be 300 lbs also when I grow up. I did not realize that I was completely wrong. This was also around the time when my parents would let me stay home alone after school while they were at work. I started just snacking on things all the time. I loved it, but didn't realize that I was ruining my life. I would eat everything on my plate just because it was there. "Full" was not a word that I knew.
So throughout my elementary years I was chubbier than most kids, back then hardly any kids were overweight so it was different. Nowadays kids are extremely overweight at such young ages. Naturally I got made fun of in school
but I still had lots of friends.
Once I hit middle school, this was when my yo-yo dieting began. I would set goals for myself such as "I'm going to be this weight by this time." Never worked. In 7th grade I was a size 12, which isn't bad, but for a 7th grader it kind of sucked shopping at the regular Limited store while my friends were still shopping at Limited Too.
So I get to high school and my weight is around 175. I didn't look bad at that size at all, but it was still in my mindset that I was this huge fat-body and I started going on real diets. I went to weight watchers with my mom and lost some weight. Then once summer came around I put it right back on. This process continued all through HS. I had a boyfriend who loved me for who I was, but my self image was totally screwed up.
Finally by senior year, once I had gotten my drivers license I reached my way up to 200lbs. I asked my mom if I could go away to "fat camp" for the summer and she agreed. I went to Camp Shane in upstate New York for 6 weeks and whipped my butt into shape. I lost around 20 pounds and then took off another 10 in my first year of college. I felt SO great and looked incredible for weighing 170 (I think it's my body type).
My eating habits were great my first year of college and I had to walk a lot because I lived in Philadelphia. Despite looking great, the body image issues still were there. I was still trying to drop weight.
Fast forward to Feb. 13th 2003. I went to the arcade near my house by myself on a thursday after getting out of school for the week. This really good looking guy was there and I noticed him looking at me. He asked if he could play Dance Dance Revolution with me, but I turned him down at first. Then I start talking to him more and things really took off from there. He was such a sweetheart. I just couldn't believe that someone so cute would actually like me. So we started seriously dating and since he was a skinny-mini he would take me out to eat ALL the time. Boo. Well we would eat the same things, but I started gaining the weight back. He knew that I was planning to transfer to Phoenix and was ok with that. We still dated for about 3 months after my move.
I move to Phoenix and my weight was back up to 189. Ok, I was still happy that I was less than pre-fat camp. I maintained that weight for a good while until our break up.
That's when I went on the Atkins diet which screwed me royally. Yes, the diet works, but once you go off it you gain the weight back so fast. I ended up getting sick in May 2004 and after coming out of the hospital I kept on gaining and gaining. By summer 2004 I was up to 220lbs and so depressed that I wanted to end my life. I finally accepted myself as a big fatty and kept gaining and losing, on and off. I was never ever an emotional eater. I just ate because it tasted good. I think I have an oral fixation. Always have to have something in my mouth (not sexually, haha)
Wow, If you are still reading this then Kudos to you. It feels great to let it all out.
Anyway, December 04 my mom, who was a full blown diabetic with many many problems goes in for the Gastric bypass surgery. I was there for her the entire time and was extatic for her when she dropped weight and gained new confidence. At that time I was still going to try and lose the weight on my own, but I gave up hope when I discovered how delicious orange chicken is. Yumm.
So I start talking to my mom about the surgery and she taught me so much that I felt comfortable with going through it also. She helped me out so much with all the appointments and things.
So here I am today, 6 days post-op and very happy that I have made this decision to change my life. The yo-yoing and bad eating habits were putting me on the same exact track that my mom went on. I didn't want that at all. Despite my young age (20, 21 in 9 days!) I think I handled this all very maturly and learned a lot pre-op.
I can't thank Mom enough for helping me through all this and still telling me that I am beautiful no matter what. I love her. She can't wait for me to reach goal so we can go clubbing in Ibiza, Spain.
I am so happy to be getting my life back!
Thank you to all of you who actually read this. I really needed to get it off my chest and I'm so glad that I have a great friend base in Phoenix who accept me no matter what weight I am. It makes me want to cry
So I will keep you all updated on my progress. Here are a few pictures of what I looked like at around 170-190 pounds. I'll post up my 250lb pic as soon as I get back to the desert.
This was at Mark's prom in May of 2003. Weight was around 183. Gosh I can't wait to get there again.
Here is my avatar pic. Weight around 190. I love this picture because of the blown out light and I actually looked ok without makeup
Lol, and it was my black hair phase.
Anyway, thanks again for reading. I'll update with major milestones and stuff.
My story: Sit back, sip and read!
Jen
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