"But you have such a great personality..." - Page 4 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

jenn75 · 02-08-2009, 09:30 AM

Thanks Macarths for your kind words. Good luck to you as well as your surgery nears.

jenn75 · 02-08-2009, 09:45 AM

So last night I had a complete emotional breakdown...one that needed to happen. It was about my insurmountable debt. I've been able to make payments on all of my debts but the crap is just really starting to rise to a level that I cannot emotionally maintain any longer. My one credit card company raised my payment so high there is no way I can afford to pay that each month. It's basically the beginning of the end, as NIN would put it. I confessed my debt to my mother, last night, here, while I'm staying with my parents. They have already helped me tremendously, and have helped me out through the years with my less-than-perfect decision-making when it comes to money and love, but they did not know that I had this large of a burden. I refuse to tell my dad, and I will not tell him except that my mom wants to help me with the debt, and that would mean telling my dad. I'd rather just try on my own with my mom's emotional support, rather than hear shit from my judgmental dad. My mom was just telling me that a cousin of hers is in similar debt problems, and my dad's comment was that her cousin just didn't have self-control. Doesn't matter that most of our family has depression and with that lies this shopping problem. I believe one of my first cousins may have the same issue. But I do not appear to live above my means, if you asked anyone. I have NOTHING to show for my debt, trust me. It's probably more shameful than even the weight that I've carried for so long. It's like my real skeleton in the closet.

Anyway, I know it's my own stupidity. I have been educating myself on credit over the past several years and now know the error of my ways, however it's much too late, I'm already in the vicious cycle of "depending" on credit many a time. Luckily for me, my brother works for bankruptcy lawyers, so I talked to him today about what he thought my options were, and we'll talk more once I finally move into a new apartment and now what my costs of living there will be.

I feel better, but guess who doesn't? My pouch! Well, not my pouch, but just inside...it hurt so bad last night physically to cry that hard. I felt so tender inside I could not lay down to go back to bed. I sat up for a long time trying to calm myself and my insides down. They simply felt inflamed from my stress.

I guess I'm feeling better today. I'm going to take it very easy today. I think it is good that I'm getting this debt weight off my shoulder along with everything else. This year will hopefully be a year of metamorphosis for me. I need to get healthy in more ways than I planned.

staraex · 02-08-2009, 01:37 PM

good luck to you! im sure everything will work out. look on the positive side of everyyyything!!!

jenn75 · 02-09-2009, 04:02 PM

thanks staraex...i certainly am trying to!

jenn75 · 02-09-2009, 04:10 PM

Today I move on to Phase 2. I had a scrambled eggbeaters mixed with a little bit of chicken brother for flavor and to make it extra mushy. I guess that tightness in the middle of your chest is supposed to be your "full" signal??? I haven't been "regular" so I had some gas pains while eating, so I wasn't sure if I was full or not after the eggbeaters, but I wasn't going to push it. I felt the tightness in the center of my chest so I stopped. I can now drink liquids again but I still feel too full to drink a lot...this is gonna make it rough for me to get in all of my liquids each day! Ugh.

Cabbie · 02-11-2009, 11:12 AM

Hey, Jenn (and everyone else that cheered me on), I made it! I am now officially on the loser's bench. I had my surgery on Monday afternoon and I just came home about an hour ago. I was very lucky in that I didn't have any complications. I feel a little sore but that is to be expected. I see my doctor again in one week.

Thanks again to everyone for their prayers and best wishes.

staraex · 02-11-2009, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenn75

Today I move on to Phase 2. I had a scrambled eggbeaters mixed with a little bit of chicken brother for flavor and to make it extra mushy. I guess that tightness in the middle of your chest is supposed to be your "full" signal??? I haven't been "regular" so I had some gas pains while eating, so I wasn't sure if I was full or not after the eggbeaters, but I wasn't going to push it. I felt the tightness in the center of my chest so I stopped. I can now drink liquids again but I still feel too full to drink a lot...this is gonna make it rough for me to get in all of my liquids each day! Ugh.

Ya.... you probably won't have a "full" feeling for awhile! I just for the first time had a full feeling this pat weekend. definitely dont push it!

jenn75 · 02-11-2009, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by staraex

Ya.... you probably won't have a "full" feeling for awhile! I just for the first time had a full feeling this pat weekend. definitely dont push it!

No, it doesn't seem like I'm full, it just feels a little tight in my chest, so I assume that is full? I just try to eat the amount they set for me, and I can usually finish the max within that range, but not always, but I do not eat more than they have recommended for me. There is no fullness as in "yes, I'm satisfied." I'm kind of guessing...

Thanks for the feedback!

And Cabbie, welcome to the other side!!!! (I sent you a PM, which you're already read).

jenn75 · 02-11-2009, 08:17 PM

I just needed to update for my own records that I feel "lighter" today, and not because I'm losing poundage, but because I spoke with a loan officer at my credit union and she is helping me figure out my debt situation, and hell, even offered a refinance deal on my car at a lower rate (which I did not even request). She told me my situation is totally salvagable, and that I can go back tomorrow to meet with her to finish up everything. She was so helpful, and I feel so relieved. AND I don't need my parents' help. My mom went with me for emotional support, but that's as far as it went.

This is my year to become healthy...in every way possible!!!

staraex · 02-12-2009, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenn75

This is my year to become healthy...in every way possible!!!

ahhhhhh! there ya go!!!!