"But you have such a great personality..." - Page 37 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

ardita · 11-06-2009, 02:33 PM

You are trying too hard to find the one. Just relax and enjoy his company. Maybe it will go somewhere. Or maybe you just have a new friend. I would be upfront with him, though, that you don't feel at a point where he should be rearranging his schedule around you.

jenn75 · 11-06-2009, 02:44 PM

I did tell him that there was no way I wanted to interfere with his school or other priorities and that I was a little overwhelmed that he was talking about the future so much (he'd said other things, too, like going on vacation together) and that I really just wanted to take things day by day. I did not discount the fact that we could develop chemistry. It was left open. I mean, I usually have had some form of chemistry from the start, and I know that it doesn't always have to start off that way so I am trying to keep an open mind. I mainly had to to tell him about it because he just keeps getting more and more excited and I did not want to lead him on in any way.

We plan on being friends and we IM'd each other about random things this afternoon, so I'm confident that we will at the very least have a great friendship. He admitted to me that he hadn't been this happy in such a long time that he just took things too far too soon.

Pink Stella · 11-06-2009, 03:01 PM

You can't fake it, but I will tell you that I was friends with my husband for a long time before we were romantic. Honestly, when we first met, I loved many things about him - his sense of humor, how easy it was for us to talk (or not talk, even quiet times with him were easy), how thoughtful he was...but it was a long time before I thought, hmmm, I want some of that. Our relationship didn't start with a bang, but today, we have great chemistry and I can't imagine my life without him in it. Just a little food for thought.

ardita · 11-06-2009, 03:08 PM

ditto what pink stella said!

jenn75 · 11-13-2009, 02:39 PM

So, the "friend" is satisfied with his friend status. I hope he's not banking on it becoming more, I just don't think it will. I'm already noticing some things I don't think I could live with...his way of thinking and overthinking everything exhausts me. And he floods me still with tons of emails all of the time. But, we are going to dinner and to the movies tomorrow. He asked me. I had nothing planned, so why not?

I have a date tonight with a new guy. I'm also talking to two other guys as well. I won't say more until I know more.

Weight-wise:

I'm 6 lbs from my 150 goal. I am wearing size mediums in some things. I'm still at a size 10 in jeans, but I think I might be down to an 8 soon in dress pants. I am going to join a new LA Fitness...I'm excited to swim most of all. I admit I haven't exercised all that much, so this will be great. I have friends who go to two LA Fitnesses within my area so between the two of them, I may always have a workout partner it seems. I'm going tomorrow as I get two free weeks to try it out since my friend just joined the new one.

carrie68 · 11-14-2009, 06:01 AM

Hi Jenn!

Congrats on your weight loss. Your pic looks great. Let me know how you like LA Fitness. I just started Pilates but it is only 1 night a week and I would like to go more and they offer classes. Some nurses at work were trying to convince me to join there too. I hate not being able to walk at night now, it gets too dark too early.

I admire your honesty with this guy. I would just stop taking his calls cuz that is the mature thing to do! LOL! I can't bring myself to date yet. I had a guy at work ask me out but I didn't call him. I feel bad but I just can't yet. I also don't want to date someone I met at work. Too weird. He doesn't work at the hospital but he is there a lot. I am just not ready yet.

Keep us posted! I enjoy your stories. It gives me hope that I will be normal someday!

Carrie

jenn75 · 11-14-2009, 07:12 AM

Thanks, Carrie, although I'd hardly describe myself as "normal" ...hahahaa.

I do plan to remain friends with the "friend" as long as things don't get weird. Again, he has some annoying quirks but who doesn't? I think his email contact will hopefully dwindle somewhat in time.

Why do you think you're not ready to date yet? It doesn't hurt to just get your feet wet, but whatever is best for you...that's what matters.

jenn75 · 11-14-2009, 07:22 AM

This is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

When you're on a first date, having met through the internet and have been conversing for less than a week, refrain from doing the following things:

1) reach across the table at dinner to hold your date's hand as if you two are already in love

2) keep asking your date the whole time if they're having a wonderful time - they are stuck with you for the evening (if they're polite enough) so even if they don't feel like you're hitting it off, they're not going to tell you they're having a shitty time in the middle of the date

3) talk about several future dates that you are already imagining to have with your date, as they may not ever occur

4) try to win them over with chocolate

5) ask them to try your Starbucks beverage, where they must sip out of the same tiny hole that you are sipping from

Ok, so the last one might be a tad bit overboard. But, the above pretty much sums up why I will not be going out on any more dates with the guy I went out with last night. That and his very weird squinty facial mannerisms, and also completing my responses by mouthing what I would say as I say it.

carrie68 · 11-14-2009, 09:25 AM

I just read your last post! You are hilarious! I wish we didn't live at the opposite ends of PA. I love your sarcasm. Not very many appreciate mine! All valid points!

I am not sure if I remember how to date to be honest. I haven't dated since I got pregnant and had my daughter. (She is 12) I have put her first for all of these years. I just feel my judgement in her father was so poor that I am afraid to get involved with anyone who could affect her life. She has told me I need to start dating and that she is ok with it. Too funny. Also, I am not sure I could handle any kind of rejection. I have hidden behind and had the excuse of being fat for soooo many years that now any rejection would just be my personality. Not sure I am ready for that reality yet. I am really messed up in the head right now.

Remember if you ever get to Philly to let me know! I would love to meet you in person. I always enjoy our conversation.

Carrie

jerseygrl684 · 11-14-2009, 09:35 AM

Creepy, just..creepy. You poor thing, I would have bolted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenn75

This is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

When you're on a first date, having met through the internet and have been conversing for less than a week, refrain from doing the following things:

1) reach across the table at dinner to hold your date's hand as if you two are already in love

2) keep asking your date the whole time if they're having a wonderful time - they are stuck with you for the evening (if they're polite enough) so even if they don't feel like you're hitting it off, they're not going to tell you they're having a shitty time in the middle of the date

3) talk about several future dates that you are already imagining to have with your date, as they may not ever occur

4) try to win them over with chocolate

5) ask them to try your Starbucks beverage, where they must sip out of the same tiny hole that you are sipping from

Ok, so the last one might be a tad bit overboard. But, the above pretty much sums up why I will not be going out on any more dates with the guy I went out with last night. That and his very weird squinty facial mannerisms, and also completing my responses by mouthing what I would say as I say it.