"But you have such a great personality..." - Page 13 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

scoman187 · 04-27-2009, 07:43 PM

WTG!!!! Under 200.Awesome!!!!!!!!!

jenn75 · 05-03-2009, 04:47 PM

Thanks so much!

jenn75 · 05-03-2009, 05:05 PM

So, I totally feel like a "fat-ist". But moreso I felt really misled. I ended up meeting a guy spur of the moment whom I met on match.com. Well, I meet him, he refuses to go into the restaurant we met at (he'd been out with friends before we met up so it's not like we had a "date" for dinner or anything, but it was just the place we decided to meet at so we could talk). He kept wanting me to get into to his car to talk ....hello, what kind of moron are you? Do you really think I'm that dumb I would just get into a stranger's car at night? Well, I was pissed because he was late due to singing karoake with his friend...he just couldn't turn them down even though he invited me to meet him. So I was pissed from the start. I honestly was gonna get over that fact, but then I saw him. He was really, really large. I knew he was on the large side, which I happen to like, but HIS PICTURE LOOKED NOTHING LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!!!! I swear that picture must've been from another life, if it was in fact him, because this guy was very obese. And here I am trying to become healthy, so do I need that in my life? I thought his picture in his profile was quite attractive, but in person he was pretty disgusting, even how he dressed. And I just felt guilty the whole time, thinking "Jenn, be kind to him, be kind." Well, I decided that since I was not in the least bit attracted to him to just go with the fact that I was pissed that he was late. He expected me to be mad, because when he texted me how late he was, I told him not to bother coming, that I was leaving (I was sitting in my car in a parking lot in the dark). So, we simply had quite the uncomfortable chat, standing in the parking lot outside his car. He left it open to me to communicate with him again if I wanted to, yet he texted me yesterday and apologized and wished me well - I think he knew by my silence/non-texting all day yesterday that I was done with him.

I KNEW this was the reason why he kept putting off meeting - his appearnce. He said to me when we met that he doesn't exactly have luck meeting people. Well, maybe if you would post an actual honest picture of yourself then people would know what they were going to get in person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh.

Frankly, I'm not having any luck with the dating thing. That was the first guy I met. Guys aren't even voicing interest in me (OH, except for two different 50 year old men...WTF???). I think I'm just going to give up for a while. It would be nice to meet someone without going on the internet. It's hard when everyone you go out with is married...they don't get it that you're actually trying to meet someone. Very frustrating. I'm so pissed, and also sad. I saw all of these couples last night when we went out who were all lovey-dovey, and I just missed that. I'm usually not like that, but I was feeling sort of "poor me" last night. I felt so great when I went out, too...got a new haircut and also feel I'm looking rather shapely and thinner now. But, it's only relative to myself and what I've looked like for so long. I'm far from thin to most who see me

ragazzarosa · 05-03-2009, 06:45 PM

You know, I was very into the "fat acceptance" movement for a while. I met this wonderful guy who I could see and acknowledge was a great guy, but I just wasn't into him. I'm not sure it was because he was fat because at the time I was dating other guys who weren't fat and I wasn't into them either.

I guess the point is, don't beat yourself up over it. You like what you like and there's not a lot you can do to change that. Also, he was LATE! That is a really bad first impression. When I met guys online I would wait for 15 minutes - that's it. Then I would leave whatever place we were supposed to be meeting at. He may have known that you weren't going to like him (and uh, HELLO, it helps to put up an accurate picture), and that's why he delayed it, hoping to agoid the whole rejection thing. AND THEN trying to get you into his car? NO WAY. Doesn't matter how cute or not cute he was - by that point I'd be mentally checked out and itching to get away.

I can understand your frustration - especially with the married men - WHAT IS IT WITH THEM?!?!?! cuz meeting people on the internet is hard. Seriously. You have to meet a lot of frogs. Maybe you'll luck out, or maybe you should just get yourself out sometimes - go to a bar and have a drink...you know...

Also watching Sex and the City really helps. It makes all those absurd and horrifying things that happen to you while you are dating seem funny.

Congratulations on being in onederland! That is SUCH an exciting milestone...I can't wait to get there, but I know it'll be a while. In the meantime, try to feel as wonderful about yourself as you can. You are doing a fantastic job!

Crimson Kittie · 05-04-2009, 10:17 PM

Oh man I stay away from those dating sites ... I tried them for a while after my divorce and wow ... it's a breeding ground for liars and horny men ... married men as well

I can't stand dishonesty ... even at my heaviest I posted a current pic. I would never not post the real me and I can't stand it when people do that.

I met a few guys that looked NOTHING like they did in person .. I often thought where did that picture even come from?

I met one guy who claimed to be 50 .. I like older men .. no problem ... well if he was a day under 70 I'd eat my hat! He was about 5'2'' and hunched over ... I thought OMG I'm dating my Grandfather!

I had another guy that claimed he was 5' 10'' ... I'm 5'10'' ... He came to my boobs

So between the lying and most of them just wanting a (no delicate way to put this) blow job - I called it quits on the dating sites.

I'd rather never date again then deal with all that garbage.

I'm sure there are some very nice honest people on there too ... but if there are .. they sure weren't interested in me lol

Aviator · 05-05-2009, 06:52 AM

...I've not gone in to dating sites, but I have to say my pics dont look much like me either. In fact, Im just not very photogenic. I look worse in photos than in person. The "aura" that makes me, me just doesnt come through in 2 dimensions.

I really dont envy those of you trying to meet someone today. When single, I never had any luck in bars or clubs, but had great luck in ordinary places, like grocery stores or ... um ... airplanes. (If you read my totally random Love Story? lol) You will see I didnt stay single very long.

I do believe there are millions of guys out there looking for you, though. You just have to avail yourself. Sitting at home is definitely not the right spot. PM me if you need some suggestions.

Jenn, it wont be long. You are a very pretty lady. Sometims we want something to happen in our time schedule. Whether you believe in God or fate, it will happen when it happens. Be patient and strategic.

jenn75 · 05-06-2009, 06:13 AM

Thanks all. I do know that I'm not in a hurry to meet someone, just wanted to get myself out there in some forum/venue. I do go out as well, but have also never met anyone in those types of places (bars/clubs). Actually, I'm not someone with tons of dating experience, but all of the experience I have had has been from online dating sites. Call me unlucky or what have you, but it is truly the only way I have met men in the past. AND, I have had some luck. I have never, until this time, met anyone who wasn't truly genuine and trustworthy on a basic human level. I have pretty good judgment when it's come to this realm. Not saying that they've all been hugely successful relationships, but that I have never been misled in a way that has freaked me out. This time was the closest that it's gotten to that.

I would also like you to know that I live in the city that has been dubbed many a time "the worst city to be single in". I won't let that discourage me, but it's very true.

Right now I'm just ready to DO things in my life, and part of that is exploring and spending time with someone fun/interesting. My friends all sort of have their own lives...most are married and have kids. They're not in the same place I am. It's been that way most of my single life.

Ok, I was gonna write more but I have to get to work...more to come!

jenn75 · 05-07-2009, 10:24 AM

So, I've made contact with someone who seems so far to be quite amazing. He emailed me for the first time yesterday, then we talked on the phone for almost 4 HOURS last night. We are meeting for coffee tonight. Also have plans for a real date tomorrow. Ironically both his mom and grandmother have had gastric bypass. He said he'd considered it himself except both his mom and grandmother have been sick so he has been discouraged from doing it. He's definitely a big guy, but still attractive in my book. We are both in shock of how similar we are and how excited we are about meeting. I've never dated a guy with a kid - he has a 16 y/o - yet it doesn't bother me at all. He sounds like he's a great father.

Here's a list:
intelligent - check
responsible - check
very open about everything - check
gives lots of compliments - check
creative - check
likes photography - check
likes lots of affection - check
funny - check
sensitive yet manly, believes in some chivalry but not overkill - check
hates dating sites and the "dating game" - check
works downtown just like me - check
likes roadtrips - check
wants to go to ireland - check
wants to marry me simply because i like star wars - hilarious
wants to go bicycling together - check
loves his kid - check

Crimson Kittie · 05-07-2009, 02:22 PM

aww that sounds wonderful! I hope you have a great time!

Dabigdawg · 05-07-2009, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenn75

So, I've made contact with someone who seems so far to be quite amazing. He emailed me for the first time yesterday, then we talked on the phone for almost 4 HOURS last night. We are meeting for coffee tonight. Also have plans for a real date tomorrow. Ironically both his mom and grandmother have had gastric bypass. He said he'd considered it himself except both his mom and grandmother have been sick so he has been discouraged from doing it. He's definitely a big guy, but still attractive in my book. We are both in shock of how similar we are and how excited we are about meeting. I've never dated a guy with a kid - he has a 16 y/o - yet it doesn't bother me at all. He sounds like he's a great father.

Here's a list:
intelligent - check
responsible - check
very open about everything - check
gives lots of compliments - check
creative - check
likes photography - check
likes lots of affection - check
funny - check
sensitive yet manly, believes in some chivalry but not overkill - check
hates dating sites and the "dating game" - check
works downtown just like me - check
likes roadtrips - check
wants to go to ireland - check
wants to marry me simply because i like star wars - hilarious
wants to go bicycling together - check
loves his kid - check

hmmm sounds like an axe murderer