Facing the fear and gaining control - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

Shetaz0028 · 10-14-2008, 06:20 AM

Well, today is the day to get it all started. At noon I meet with the advisory team (nurse practitioner, shrink, and NUT) whom will decide my fate. I must have filled out the eating pattern and patient assessment forms 50 times in the past month.

I have my binder packed to the brim with information and think I have done as much research as possible. Thanks to this site I not only have wonderful success stories but, I have the failures and the horrible cases too.

This first 4 hour appointment is really playing with my head. I have not slept in 3 days, can't eat, and just can't calm down. I know I have lost weight as my wedding ring does not fit anymore and I'm afraid that I am now under the weight and BMI. Yes, the fear is getting the best of me. I am one of those controlling and overly organized PITA's. Everything has a proper place and it is clearly labeled. With the exception of this. I have handed over control of my life to other people and frankly I just know they won't know how to do it. The old saying "if you want something done right do it yourself" is my way of life.

I have been looking into this for years now but, never went any further than checking it out because I was not ready to face myself and the truth. The truth is like an addict I use food on the sly. I put soda into my water bottle, hid burgers under salads, hid "Flips" in the "All Bran" box. On the surface everyone thought I was doing what I should. They had no idea that locked in my safe with my passport, bonds, and stocks I had a stash of Twix, Snickers, Mt. Dew, and baked goods.

I would pick fights with DammitSammit so I could lock myself in the room and eat the 1lb box of Godiva. I used the food to fill the loneliness of being married to a grunt Marine. Hubby may have missed my birthday but, Godiva didn't. He missed Thanksgiving but, the food didn't. My girls turned into PMSing teenage beasts but, food always loved me.

I realized that it was time for me to face my addiction when I was cleaning out my truck and found the wrappers that I had hidden cause I could not get to a trash can. QP's with cheese, Arby's beef and cheddars. I actually drove 45 minutes with gas at 3.20 per gal. to get a beef and cheddar and curly fries.

So, here I am today waving my hand....Hi I'm Charlie and I'm a food addict. I have pulled money out of the couch to score a big mac, I have collected cans for a twix, I have hung out at Sams Club for hours touring the sample tables over and over again.

Geez lobster thurmadore and baked Alaska sounds good. I don't even like lobster.

Shetaz0028 · 10-15-2008, 06:07 AM

Wheehwwwww thank goodness yesterday is done. As usual I became the hated in the class by the students and the teachers pet

.

I can not believe that people go into this without ANY knowledge at all. I mean HELLO we are doing surgery, they are re-designing my guts in a way that was not originally meant. You BET I want to know everything. So, anyway here's how things went.

I waddled into the "meet and greet" at 1pm with 10 other hopeful patients. They give the band vs. bypass talk show slides of the procedures (which I have watched both procedures both open and lap). They then asked if we knew which we wanted. I was the only one that knew. I told them the bypass and stated the reasons behind my decision.

I was then asked to follow the shrink out. Unknown to me everyone else stayed in there talking for about another 2 hours. I did not have to do a massive test we just talked. It was kind of odd when he asked about mental issues in my family. We're country folks so, yes we're all nuts. But, when asked about the man that carried the DNA to conceive me I have no clue. The shrink said that is a sign of the times but, what a sad sign. Of course his ears perked up with a 40 year old woman referred to her step dad as "Daddy". My step dad is the one that loves me and chased away the boogie man the other guy was just a sperm donor. After stretching the shrink visit to 45 minutes the dietitian came in and snatched me.

The dietitian looks at my binder and ask so of course I show her everything in it. Introduce her to TT and she just fell in love. She was amazed at how much I knew that that I am already changing my diet and eating the way I need to after surgery. She couldn't say much other than when I go through my classes I should take in some of my samples to discuss them with the other dietitian. I said I know that isolate is better and I have tons of that in both milk and soy based. She then said never mind that then. She then started talking about the vits. and I pulled out my info on that and told her that I have ordered the Celebrate series and will get the Building Blocks if I can not tolerate the Celebrate. 20 minutes and she says "your golden" and sends me on to the RN.

The RN and I talk about support and so forth she takes a peek at my binder and asks for copies of things like "Pouch Rules" and "5DPT". She listened to my lungs, heart, and all that then starts talking about the nutrition classes I will have to go through. I guess I looked at her funny cause she asked if I had a question and I said "since your talking about the classes does that mean you are accepting me as a patient?" She said most defiantly. I broke down. I was bawling like a new born and had to put my head between my knees cause I was hyperventilating. She stepped out while I tried to calm down and in walks the doc. He welcomed me to the group and then walked me back out to the RN. She handed me a paper and I was off getting my EKG, Blood work, and chest X-Ray. All I have left is my sleep study then we can get everything sent to Tricare. We're shooting for a December surgery.

Shetaz0028 · 10-15-2008, 06:10 AM

Oh yeah, I forgot to put in there my weigh in. Last month when I talked to my PCM about this I weighed in at 217 which gave me a 43 BMI. Yesterday, I weighed in at 201 with a 39.39 BMI. Leave it to me to quit smoking and eat like a horse and lose weight. Now, we have to get the co-morbids going.

Also, I was told to lose at least 10 lbs before surgery.

Sorry Merf, no poopoo platter for me. The just took blood. I think someones crushin on you.

nextbigloser · 10-15-2008, 06:18 AM

That is so awesome good for you. I am glad you went there with information in hand. I to was like that. I told them about TT and everything that I have learned here. I even printed out a ton of recipes for them. They post a few recipes on the web site but I have yet to see anything that sounds good. This time will go by fast and before you know it you will be posting those before and after pics. Make sure you get your measurements for yourself not just what the doc has. Its easier to go back in your own records vs. calling and asking what were my numbers again. Also get lots of photos now. You may not like them but will appreciate them once you are losing.

Shetaz0028 · 10-20-2008, 09:57 AM

Well here I am a week later and about to start chewing my nails. I had not herd from the doc's office so I called at 8am this morning. Now, I'm waiting on the nurse to call me with my test results and to see if my sleep test has been scheduled.

I am trying my best to be patient and understand that they are busy but, my hopes keep getting filled like a balloon. That scares me because what if I get all caught up in this just to have insurance tell me no. Even though the surgery team swears they know how to present it and it'll be approved in a couple of weeks I still worry.

I just don't know which way to turn anymore. This has become the center of my universe and I find myself thinking about it all the time. I'm even dreaming of tests, results, surgery dates, being told no by insurance.

If I don't hear anything back today I'm calling cell numbers tomorrow at 6am...hehe

Baja Big Dog · 10-20-2008, 10:36 AM

WOW great story, and your on an island of yor oiwn,...NOT!!
We have all had the food experiences you detailed in some manner, hiding food, hiding wrappers so people wont find out what you eat etc, welcome to the club. \

I suggest you wear some loose clothes and wear some ankle weights to the doctors office, I am serious, you would not be eligible for my insurance companies criteria for the surgery, because of the weight, so 5 or 10 pound weights on each ankle, and some weights in your pockets should get you where you need to be.

Good luck, and hang in there, it will all be over before you know it!!

Shetaz0028 · 10-20-2008, 11:37 AM

What would I do without the smiles you provide? I slammed water all morning and walked in with 20 D batteries in my pockets (THAT was fun) and STILL I come in under. It doesn't help that I am 5ft 1/2in and she put me as 5'1". That little extra does make a diff. Oh well, trying to get the apnea thing done and we'll see. I checked my insurance site last week and the new standards do not say anything about BMI anymore. Just at least 100 lbs over weight for the bone frame. I have a very petite frame and should weigh between 95 and 100 (my tastes for me not any documented standards) so 207 is clearly there.

I'll make a huge announcement when I get my date and just for you I'll put on the Parrot man and we can limbo....

Shetaz0028 · 10-21-2008, 05:41 AM

When I got home last night and checked my mail I found my follow up appointments with the NUT and Doc. I go in on 11/19 (DammitSammit's B-day) at 1:30pm.

I also called the team because I am dying to find out how my tests came out and was told that they were mailed to me. Since I have not received a call I would think that everything is fine and dandy. With all of the talk lately about the H-Pylori I have been worried. But, as I said since I have not heard from them I would think that it came out fine. If I get my results and it's positive I'm gonna be pissed because I could have already been taking the meds.

I called Vic at "Celebrate" yesterday and asked for samples to be sent out. I also went ahead and ordered the "pre-surgery" vits. He's so funny his exact words were "you need to be taking at vit now and I won't shoot you if you take One a Day and not ours but, after surgery I will shoot you". LMAO.

I also had to re-organize my RNY food locker. It got my samples from Vita Lady yesterday and had no where to put em. This drove me to go through the entire kitchen and get rid of everything I have not touched in 3 months. Fry-Daddy....gone.......Bread Machine (used once).......gone........fondue pot (never used).......gone.......Ice Cream Machine.........gone. I had no idea that I had a decent sized kitchen before. I also found the "stash" that did not belong to me. Had to be DammitSammits........Hickory Farms, Slim Jims, etc. I didn't toss those but, did put them in the pantry where they belong. He shouldn't have to hide things because of me. Plus, he's one of those PITA's that says I need to lose 20lbs and it's gone the next day.

Well, that's about it for today. More to come when something slightly interesting happens.