Ok, this is going to be long and a two parter. Sorry but, I've got a lot to say and a lot of accountability to face up to.
First off, on the WLS journey. I finally received my test results and everything is peachy keen. My drug test did show slight creatinine. I have no idea what this is or how I would have gotten it but, figure it may be something in my allergy meds. So, now I'm just waiting on that flippin sleep study. These people are NOT corporative at all. That's ok though I figure when I go in to do my test I will just not take my allergy meds before and blow their ears out with my snoring.
Now onto my terrifying day, break down, and failure in my eyes.
On Friday at 11:20am my baby girl (yes, she's almost 18 but, she's still my baby) called and said that the school was locked down. She was stuck in the cafe and they were not allowed to leave. I tried telling her it was probably just an exercise and just do as she was told. She was told that 3 kids broke into a house the night before and stole some guns. That a shot gun was found in one of the cars and a Mag. in the boys bathroom.
I then called DammitSammit and filled him in. Of course he's the rational one of us and was like what can we do if we go there? We're just going to be in the way and cause more problems. I reminded him that he was talking logic to an emotional, 5', Irish, Scott, Leo woman and I could show him what the definition of torture is. He was here to pick me up in 10 minutes.
So, there we are across the street from the school just looking at the building when my daughter texts me saying that she's really scared and begging me to come get her. She said the teachers and dean were crying. I called her so she could hear my voice hoping that I could get her calmed down. The teacher told her she had to hang up or the teacher was going to take the phone.
Of course the police were trying to blow the "it's just practice" smoke up my skirt but, I have lived on to many bases. I know the difference between practice and reality. The school almost looked like 29 Palms on September 11.
There were not any incidents thank goodness just a lot of frightened kids. The 2 hours I spent standing looking at the school I spent chugging Mt. Dew and yes, smoking. I know I have been doing so good and that it's easy to dismiss the stress of the time with falling back into old habits but, still I should not have done that. Even though I have not had a smoke since she got home nor have I had a soda I still let myself down.
Of course DammitSammit is being supportive and telling me not to beat myself up over it. He says so I stumbled what matters is that I pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on track. So, that's just what I'm doing. Holding myself accountable for my bad decisions on Friday no matter the circumstances. Hopefully I did not royally mess myself up for the surgery.
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