Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

skinnywifey · 10-07-2008, 05:14 PM

The morning of September 11, 2008 SO many things were going through my mind. I lay on the hospital bed in pre-op, listening to my dad and fiance crack jokes for my benefit. I tried to chuckle, I wanted to act like nothing was bothering me. But it was. I was scared to death. My thoughts and pulse were racing, and I had the serious urge to jump up and run like hell for the double doors. Instead, I kissed my fiance, told my parents I loved them, and laughed my way down the hall and into the operating room. That's where my journey began.
The decision to get lap. RNY was not something that came quickly or easily. I attended my first seminar at the age of 17. I thank God that I didn't get surgery then - I KNOW I wasn't mature enough to handle it. Sometimes I doubt my maturity at age 22, theres no telling what stupid things I would have done with my new body back then! Years went by and the pounds kept coming. I would consider the surgery, only to back out of the first consultation with the surgeon. I would cry to anyone and everyone about how I was "too young" and didn't want to "be a freak" around my other skinny young friends. I convinced everyone that I didn't want it, but I don't think I convinced myself.
September of 2007 I met my fiance, Daniel, at a party for his birthday. I started falling in love with him that first night and a few weeks later he came to my apartment ... and never left. He loved me for me - I couldn't belive it! He loved all 330 pounds of me, and wasn't afraid to show it. He's not a large man, either. He's gained some weight since we've been together, but when we first met he was a skinny little stick. Meeting him and starting the most meaningful relationship I've ever (and will ever) be in was a turning point for me. I had someone else to live for - I wanted to become healthier so I could enjoy my time with him more. I wanted to hike with him, go on trips, and most of all, I wanted to feel better about myself when I was around him.
I had recently attended a seminar on lap. RNY and lapband at Bailey Medical Center in Owasso,OK. Dr. Luis V. Gorospe and his whole team of nurses, doctors, etc. were AMAZING. For the first time, I felt confident that if I decided to go through with this, I would be in the best possible hands. I put on my big girl panties and went to the first appointment. All my questions were answered, my mind was put at ease, and Dr. Gorospe even made me feel PROUD of myself for making this positive life-changing decision. Until then I had viewed it as something to be ashamed of. I was ashamed that I had let myself get to the point where I needed a surgery to help. That mindset was changed forever. A few months and a few appointments later, I felt as if everyone knew my name and my story. I had overcome most of my fears, including a major dislike of hospitals and anyone in a white coat.
After the surgery, I was in a lot more pain than I anticipated. The first week or two was tough. I was up and walking around, but any walk longer than 15 minutes or so would leave my belly and my back aching and burning. Luckily for me, I have the world's best support group. My parents, brother, sisters, and fiance were there for me and continue to help me now with whatever I need. I made it through the liquid diet phase and am almost through with the soft foods. This Friday will be my first "real" meal since my surgery date. I am both excited and nervous at the same time. I am hoping that my self-control will kick in and I won't over do it. But no promises, I AM only human.
That brings me up to date for now, this is getting to be a rather long thread. There's just so much that I needed to get off my chest for personal reasons.
Any words of encouragement, comments, advice, etc would be welcomed and greatly appreciated. I never though I would join an online support system, but am becoming increasingly glad that I did. Looking forward to making some new friends!!

niseyweesee · 10-07-2008, 05:39 PM

Sounds like you're doing good to me!!! I was in the same boat as you...I have been thinking of this for over 7 years now...almost eight!!! I always thought of it as the easy way out...I know NOW that it is just a tool!!! It is up to you to make it work for you!!!

Please from the bottom of my heart...Don't go down that road you were on before!!! It's ok to stumble but get back up and keep on going!!! You were strong enough to get this surgery done for your health...now do it to keep staying healthy!!!

I know I don't know you, but I love you like a TT sister should!!!

YOU WILL BE AN AWESOME LOSER!!! Keep your head up high!!!

JuliaGulia · 10-07-2008, 05:58 PM

I love your story.
Be careful when you have your "first meal" and be prepared for the fact that it won't last long.
take small bites and chew chew chew... everything to this point has been easy to slide through your stomach and believe me solid food is much different even when you chew.
I have had stuff stuck and it is not fun. especially at first.....

so just take it easy and remember it gets easier.

Cheers to you for taking an active role in making your life great!!

skinnywifey · 10-08-2008, 01:11 PM

Thanks for all the encouragement and responses!
Anyone have any tricks or secrets for getting all that flippin' protein in? Its so hard for me to constantly drink shakes. Yuck!

CiCi · 10-08-2008, 02:07 PM

Hi Skinny! I'm in OK too and Dr Gorospe was my doc as well. how awesome is that?? welcome! and my advice... read, read, read this board as it's a wealth of information.

glad you are here!

lmwisern · 10-08-2008, 03:33 PM

Welcome to TT's. I really enjoyed reading your story. I had my surgery 9/15. Getting protein in is the hardest thing for me. IM SICK OF CHOCHOLATE AND VANILLA AND STRAWBERRY...lol....oops didn't mean to break out in a vent rage....lol.....I've never been one to like fruity, tangy flavors either, thats making it sooooo hard to get my water in as well. I may not be a professional LAP RNY patient just yet, but Im gonna keep on keeping on until I get it right.

skinnywifey · 10-08-2008, 06:42 PM

Thanks for the reply! I know what you mean about being sick of chocolate and vanilla ... the shake thing is getting seriously old at this point. Which worries me, lol. I'm like you, I know I'm no pro yet. I slip up and its been really hard to get used to the new amounts of food. One bite too much of cottage cheese and I feel like I'm trying to smuggle a turkey out of the country in my stomach!! I also like snacking (whoops) and I'm hoping my intake of little bits of cheese all day isn't too big a deal. At least its high protein!

So you keep up the good work and I'll try to do the same. Keep me posted on your progress! Good luck!!!!

sarotika · 06-30-2009, 10:16 AM

Hi Skinny -

Boy, it sounds like we are on the same journey! I'm 26 and had my surgery with Dr. Gorospe 3 months after yours (December 4). I started at 337. What are you down to now?