My story(as far as it goes so far) - ThinnerTimes

CJ Skinner · 05-21-2005, 12:17 AM

I have been sitting here reading different stories and thought maybe writting mine may be a way to shed some of the baggage. Well here goes. While I read some people have been over weight all their life. i was not. As a child i was a ribs showing real skinny child. matter of fact all four of us boys were. We ate pretty good with surplus food, lots of hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. We were made to sit at the table till the food was gone. i remember getting sent to bed and then the same food set in front of me the next morning. They finally gave up and feed me but i remember these instances very vividly. I stayed real skinny all through high school. i was on the foot ball team but never weighted over 186 lbs. When i graduated from high school i went directly to college. That where the stress level started and i remember starting to gain weight. I would run 5 miles every week night trying to keep it off. i was stressing between college cources, studying and a full time job, because i had to make a living for me and my wife (got married when I was 17). From then on it has been a roller coaster ride with me gaining and loosing and gaining. i remember in college going to the doctors office and getting DARVON prescribed for head aches. I had high blood preasure and Hyper tension way back then (1975). I then decided to go into the service. i joined the Navy and went to Orlandoe training base. I was over weight going in and i was put into a company that did nothing but PT for eight or nine hours a day and then swimming and sauna. i lost most of the weight. During this time I also lost my wife. I went out of the Navy expecting to get back in after my family crisis was over. They never let me back, said i had a bad attitude. Well that may have been for the best. SO back out in the work force I was. I did many jobs trying to find a place in this world that i fit in. Gaining weight all the time. I went to work in a radio station in Arcadia Florida and we had a contest between dj's to loose weight. i lost the most, never getting back to high school weight but lost 40 or 50 lbs in the process. Which i gained back. Since then i have excersised, dieted, slowed down my eating and then I did something that i am ashamed to say i had gotten into. I had gotten married during this time and i was gaining weight(stress thing again). I started taking Exlax every day after i ate. Wasnt loosing weight but wasnt gaining eather. I was getting so big i started to have problems with my feet, heel spurs and back aches after work. i had an opersation on both of my feet to remove the spurs and to sew up the pulled and torn mucles in my feet. At this point i decide to stop being a Ford mechanic. I had been making real good money but could not stand on my feet 10 hours a day anymore because of my weight. i opened a hobby store with my wife and it did real good for a while until this was lost due to divorce(#2 so far). At this point I gave up trying to loose weight. I went on for about 5 or 6 years gaining weight. I am by now over 300 lbs. i still dont see a fat guy in the mirror, just know the cloths dont fit. I was refered to a weight loss clinic that put me on a liqued diet for 1 year. Whom ever invented this type of torture should have been alive back in the midevel days. This was horrible. I did my best and lost 40 or 50 lbs but could not loose any more no matter what i did. i stopped the diet and went back to gaining weight. At this point i didnt care. I meet my birth family for the first time 7 and a half years ago. Before i met them they were so happy to have found me and sent me cards and made phone calls every week. I went and meet them and from the time I meet them the were different. During the greeting part of the meeting (before the face to face) I had never told them how big I was. The second i saw my mom her face dropped and things change right then. I knew as soon as I saw her she was not happy with the weight and it was going to be a big deal. I left after a few days of meeting with them. One of my copeing tools has been to joke about my weight. While I was visiting them i was called on the carpet for doing that and told to knock it off. Well that wasnt a good thing for me. I left thinking well this isnt what i expected. I got back home and after a few months was laid off from work. As i didnt have any connections keeping me in florida i went to Indiana to see if i could make a relationship with my 4 sisters, two brothers and mom and step dad. Everything was ok. Not great but ok. Well then I noticed every body starting to get distant and unresposive. That thanksgiving it finally came to a head. 22 people at dinner that day and i had asked my mom where i was to sit. She got a real mean grin on her face and said you "You cant tell?". When I looked at the table there was a place set with a serving fork(huge) a serving spoon(huge) and serving knife(yup huge) and a turkey platter. She said thats where i was supposed to eat. I went and got a regular place setting and started to put it on the table and she insisted i had to eat with the place setting as it was. I asked my girlfriend if she was coming with me and left. i have never been invited back and to this day have not spoken to my birth mother. I have tried to clear things up and say i was sorry(for what i wasnt sure) and she just ignores the letters. the last mothers day(not this year but last) i sent her a letter explaining my sorrow we could not have a relationship together and said i was sorry for anything I might have done to recieve the jesture that i had at this dinner. She senbt me a little email that said she had lost the letter and when she found it she would answer it back. Havnt heard from her since. She did hear from my sister i was getting WLS and she tried to get my sister to talk me out of it because if the dangers. In the fact that my docter says if I dont get the surgery i will be dead in 5 years, what danger could be so bad that i would not take this chance.
So here i sit. I am through most of the process. i am waiting for the insurance to approve the surgury. i was told UHC is pretty fast in their appovals once they hear from the doctors office so it should be soon. Thanks for listening. Well got to go back to work.
CJ
(358/372/186)

VanessaSFL · 05-21-2005, 06:18 AM

Hey you! I will be following you...I know the process will be speedy.

Best wishes..Van

kristyann · 05-23-2005, 08:42 AM

Sounds like you've had it pretty rough. Well I hope all goes well for you and you have a speedy approval and surgery. Keep us posted.

suzanne · 05-23-2005, 08:57 AM

I know what your birth mother did cut deep through the skin. People just don't realize how mean they can be. You have come to the right place for support!!! Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. I had my surgery 4 weeks ago and have lost 27 pounds now. Yet the best part is knowing I am getting my health back for me. Good luck and keep posting!!!

LizardQueen · 05-23-2005, 05:59 PM

I know how you feel about the birth family thing. I met my Dad when I was 21 and one of my sisters (have one I have never met). It is weird trying ot have a relationship with strangers so I gave up and haven't seen or talked to him or my sister in about 9 years. that was a horrible thing your mother did and you had every right to leave. I'm glad to hear you are through all the tests. I wish you the very best of luck and please let us know how you are doing.

Amber

watergirl · 05-23-2005, 06:39 PM

I'm so sorry for how your mother treated you. I've got tears in my eyes for the pain you must have felt from that horrible, unacceptable event. God bless you and keep you close throughout your journey. Please remember that you are worth it and can survive this.

We are here for you! Thanks for having the courage to share your story with us.

CJ Skinner · 05-23-2005, 09:45 PM

WEll good news today. Called the doc's office and they sent the paperwork in on the 19th of this month. I then called the insurance company. They received it on the 20th and sent the letter on the 21rst. Havnt gotten it yet bu was approved in one day. Cool Beans. Getting scarred but wil not cancel this no matter what. I dont want people to feel sorry for me but with telling the situation to someone else i made a few decsions about the surgury and whom was going to be told. Only my closest friends will know. And the people here will know before mty birth family knows. Is that cool or what. Looks like surgury will be in the second week of June. Will know by the end of the week. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LizardQueen · 05-24-2005, 05:43 AM

Congratulations!!!! I'm so happy for you! You have put so much work into this. I'm glad everything worked out for you (I knew it would!!!)!!!

Amber

watergirl · 05-24-2005, 07:23 AM

CJ, that is music to the ears! Congratulations!

Gladitsme · 05-24-2005, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJ Skinner

WEll good news today. Called the doc's office and they sent the paperwork in on the 19th of this month. I then called the insurance company. They received it on the 20th and sent the letter on the 21rst. Havnt gotten it yet bu was approved in one day. Cool Beans. Getting scarred but wil not cancel this no matter what. I dont want people to feel sorry for me but with telling the situation to someone else i made a few decsions about the surgury and whom was going to be told. Only my closest friends will know. And the people here will know before mty birth family knows. Is that cool or what. Looks like surgury will be in the second week of June. Will know by the end of the week. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CJ,

I'm so happy for you! Way to go buddy.