I've been large my entire life. I went to the doctor when I was in elementary school and weighed 130 lbs. The doctor said "if you stay at this weight, when you get older, it will be perfect for you're bone structure." Of course, when I heard that, I thought that it would be the easiest thing ever to maintain that weight. I figured if I weighed that now and just kept eating what I was eating, I wouldn't need to put any work into it. WRONG! Wow. I ballooned every year without stopping. I tried so many diets.. fad diets from atkins to south beach, and tried low cal and exercise countless times. I've visited with numerous dieticians and had weight loss programs set up for me but nothing worked. I would lose weight and gain it back without blinking an eye.
About four or five years ago (I think it was my senior year of high school,) my mom had the roux en y surgery done. She's had lots of other medical problems such as myasthenia gravis and several bouts of cancer, so she was severely obese with no way of losing weight (myasthenia gravis is a form of MS so she was unable to exercise for pretty much any amount of time.) So yeah, she was very successful with her surgery! She now weighs about 120-125 (down from around 260-280, I don't know the exact numbers,) so it was very inspiriational to see her achieve her goal!
When I got to college and tried again to lose weight--and again, to no avail--my parents started to talk to me about undergoing the surgery. I was hesitant at first and kept saying no, that I could do the weight loss without the surgery. I'm a big worrier so thinking about getting put under anesthesia while some man I've met only a handful of times is slicing my stomach open and rearranging my intestines, well... that did not fly with me. Right away, at least. After a couple of years I started to gain weight again. I stopped around 240. Then, my Junior-Senior year of college I gained about 40 lbs within a short period (I'm talking months here.) I knew that I needed medical intervention.
I met with my endochrinologist and talked about possibilities for me. We both decided that the roux en y would be the best option. After that it was about six months before anything started to happen. Since I was up at college I wasn't able to attend the mayo clinic support classes that are mandatory before the surgery, so I had to meet up with a specialist on campus at my university for one hour each week. It was such a joke! I ended up meeting with this guy and each week we would spend an hour talkig about how I can change my eating habits without the surgery and how I don't need the surgery because if I just do this, this, and this, it will miraculously work in ways that it hasn't before. It was very frustrating! The big joke of it all was that while I was meeting with him I had not changed my diet one bit, but he would tell me each week that he could tell I was losing weight, that my attitude was changing for the better, and that I was really doing well physically as far as keeping up with him and all of that was concerned. The thing about it is that I have always been a very active person. I've never had a hard time keeping up with 'skinny' people while we've walked to or from class. I'm very physical in the way that I act and do comedy of any kind. So to hear him go on and on about these changes I'm supposedly made because of his wisdom...it was ridiculous.
ANYWAY!
So yeah, I was scheduled for the surgery and had it right on time. July 1st, 2008. My surgeon was very matter of fact the first time I saw him and then the next couple of times, he was very friendly and always had a smile on his face. That was very comforting!
The surgery itself was obviously over before I knew it began. I woke up with a little pain and discomfort but this was helped by the morphine drip. I felt better each day and continue to (it's only been four days since my surgery,) but I'm really looking forward to the pain going away. My mom keeps telling me that in the end it will all be worth it and I know it will! I'm so tired of being everyone's best friend, being the person that every guy is friends with because I'm friends with the beautiful girls (two of my best friends are stunners.) It's like every time I go out, I get to sit on the sideline and watch men come up and flirt with my friends. And I know that I don't want to be with a guy who's superficial like that anyway, but everyone is to some extent, and I want people to get to know me. It's hard being fat though, as I'm sure you all understand, because people don't bother to get to know you. Fat is fat. If you're fat, people won't date you. That is, people I want to date, anyway. I've had several guys hit on me but they are always ghetto or creepy old men. I actually joined on online dating service for fat people once and the only bites I had were from men who really frightened me. One guy said that he wanted me to be his mistress. Yeah, it was gross.
So yeah! I'm just rambling at this point! It's just nice to have a place to talk about all of this and have the people who listen to it understand what I'm talking about. So thanks for listening! If you made it through this novel then you deserve some sort of award for endurance!
A Little Bit About Me!
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