My Story
i am needing to vent some, so i thought i would tell my story at the same time.
i have been fat my whole life, or for at least as long as i can remember. the rest of my family is normal sized, so my father was always putting me on a diet. i don't know if it was just me being paranoid, but i always felt less loved than my other siblings because of my weight. i felt like i was an embarrassment to my family. many times i have been excluded from things and i know full well it was because of my weight.
in 1999 after being married for 2 years i got pregnant. i remember my doctor getting mad at me for gaining 4 pound in my third or 4th month. the next month i lost 4 pounds and he was mad about that. my son was born in 2000. he had sooo many problems but after 5 weeks in the nicu he finally got to come home. so my time was now devoted to him and my husband. we were always going to the doctor or in the hospital with little man. some of the problems he has are that he is hearing impaired, vision impaired, and mentally delayed. and because of this my parents never babysit or really spend time with him, so other than going to school he is never away from me. can't remember the last time my husband and i were able to go out alone. i am not complaining about my son i love him him but it is hard sometimes. i feel like sometimes my husband gets upset because we can't do anything by ourselves.
so during this time i am getting fatter and fatter. i had looked into wls but at the time my insurance didn't cover it. so i had pretty much settled on the fact that this was my life and i just prayed that i would live long enough to raise my son to adult-hood.
so one day i am at home when my uncle calls me. out of the blue he says to me "you know your fat right?" i say back "no! really?? i had no idea." anyway he goes on to tell me that he wants to help me get wls. i am blown away. i am crying i am so happy. so he tells me to look into the different surgeries and decided which one i want.
i spent a couple of weeks researching the rny and the lapband, and i decided that the rny would be best for me. so i tell my uncle that i have decided on the rny and he tells me no way. he says that the rny is to risky. so i finally settled on the lapband. i figured something was better than nothing. so in august of 2006 i have my lapband surgery.
well i worked my butt off. (literally) from august 2006 through august 2007 i lost 110 pounds. omg i was thrilled. i still remember when i reached 224 i thought i haven't seen this number since i was a freshman in high school. i was going to the gym, which i had never done before. and i even bought a shirt in old navy. life was good.
the only thing about the band that i didn't like was that sometimes i wouldn't be able to eat. but it would only last a couple of days so i didn't worry about it. once i called my wl doctor and asked the nurse about it and she said that sometimes happened and it was nothing to worry about.
well at the end of august 2007 my uncle died. immediately i stopped being able to eat and after about 7 days i couldn't drink either. i called my wl doctor and it took them another week to get me in. my lips were cracking and bleeding, there were days i couldn't even get up. i thought i was dying.
so i go into the doctors office and they take my fill out. i asked them if this could have been caused by stress, and the nurse said absolutely. so the fill comes out and i could drink and i could eat. omg could i eat. so i ate. and i gained back 25 pounds. i takes so long to come off and nothing for it to come back.
about a month and a half later i went back to get refilled.so they put the fill back in and the lady says "hey we need a current flouroscopy." no problem. so they do the flouroscopy and say "uh-oh" and i say "uh-oh what?" well it seems i had been over filled for quite some time, and my pouch had been messed up. basically they tell me we can't fill you anymore. sorry. and that was it.
i tried to keep the weight off, but it didn't happen. i would go to the gym for 2 hours a day and i still gained weight. there were things i still couldn't eat and still can't. i can eat crap all day but i struggle with fruits and vegetables.
so here i am. i have gained back around 70 pounds and i am miserable. i am embarrassed because i have gained back so much weight.
right now i am waiting to hear back from my insurance company to see if they will cover a revision. i was denied the first time but i am hoping the 2nd time is the charm. i am really hoping to have the revision before the end of summer.
thanks for letting me whine.
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highest weight 330
pre-op 295
surgery date October 21,2008
current 263
goal weight 160
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/CW-192/GW-140
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