Originally Posted by RebeccaNV

I hope that you feel better soon!

Originally Posted by Vim&Vigour

Kel,
there is definitely a difference between your photos wearing black and you "now"! Wow! Keep going, even though progress feels slow!
JMO, as you are into colouring your hair: - I bet you would look younger still with cut hair, shoulder length rather than bunned up. You did write that you were losing hair though... Just thought keeping it shorter, with hair voluminisers might cheer you up - try a wig first!
Cheers,
Vim

Originally Posted by annie's mom

Mistymee, you crack me up .....you are a riot ....I think you are like my twin sister and we were separated at birth ...LOL. I can't believe the way you write ....just like me ....
Have you ever thought of doing this thing called "Blog 365" where you go in and blog everyday?

OMG ..you are a one woman-comedy show ....

Luv, your posts ...

Susan

Originally Posted by mistymee

So.. today we're supposed to go out to eat with 'friends'... actually his friends for dinner.. I don't think they like me much and in the end, it didn't happen. Supposedly a mix up on dates, then confusion over who was going to call.. etc. etc.. I just think they really didn't want to meet up and that is why they didn't call when promised and whatnot.... well, that's fine.. I'm okay with that..

KEL, A PITY - AND POTENTIAL DIFFICULTY - IF THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. FROM NOT WRITING ANYTHING, I SENSE THAT YOU ARE NOT VERY KEEN ON THEM YOURSELF?

I don't need for everyone to like me, it's just difficult as these are people that he feels very close to.. they've been with him for years, helping him through his unexpected divorce and the closing of the company where he was the director etc, etc.. so that makes it difficult. AAMOF, he will be Geof's best man at the wedding.

KEL, YOU REALLY NEED TO SORT THIS ONE OUT ASAP - YOUR FUTURE RELATIONSHIP COULD TURN "NASTY" FROM THE OUTSET BECAUSE OF THEM. A BEST MAN TENDS TO BE A KEY FIGURE IN A BLOKE'S LIFE.

I haven't said much to him about them as with our relationship being long distance, there was no need to even discuss it.. we'd have dinner with them occasionally and that was enough for me. BUT THE TIME HAS COME NOW TO SORT THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL, AT LEAST TO AVOID MISUNDERSTANDINGS. All three of them are older than I am THAT'S QUITE OK and have shared friends and experiences that don't include me.. INEVITABLE I often feel like the fifth wheel with them. AT LEAST UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THE OTHERS INVOLVED AND HAVE FORGED YOUR OWN IDENTITY THERE. I'm hoping this changes BUT IT'S DOWN TO YOU once I've moved up here and get to spend more time with his friends. AT LEAST YOU'LL BE IN A BETTER PLACE TO GIVE IT A TRY.

The weather was sooo lousy today and the whole day just seemed like mostly a bust.. but we did a lot of talking about our wedding plans and sorted things out.. He will not wear a black suit- hates them... he wants charcoal grey with a blue shirt.. SOUNDS A TAD SELFISH! HIS MARRIAGE BUT YOUR WEDDING!!!
We will NOT be doing a rehearsal.. he feels that it is too much FAIR ENOUGH, HE MAY HAVE A POINT and though he said he'd go through with one if I insisted, YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO NOT ASK BUT "INSIST" he would not be happy about that.. EITHER IT IS A FRANK TWO WAY CONVERSATION WITH ALL CARDS ON THE TABLE (BUT I'VE NOT HEARD YOUR REQUESTS) OR AGAIN HE IS RATHER SELFISH feels it is unnecessary and pointless.. NOT MUCH CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, OR DESIROUS TO PLEASE YOU and would rather let things happen more organically... *sigh*... so we will wing it.

We're also not having a professional photog.. but are considering asking his youngest, who is an aspiring filmmaker, do video of the ceremony and anything else she'd like to record, for us.. DOES SAVE MONEY. BUT BEWARE, IF THE KID FAILS ON THE DAY, ALL MAY BE HEAPED ON HER AND A FUTURE POINT OF ANGER. IN ADDITION TO MY FRIENDS PHOTOGRAPHING, I TOOK STACKS OF PHOTOS M Y S E L F!!! THAT WAY I GOT WHAT I WANTED TOO. A TYPICAL WAY IN THE UK IS TO PUT A DISPOSABLE CAMERA ON EACH GUESTS' TABLE SO THAT THEY TAKE PICTURES FROM THEIR TABLE. AT THE END OF THE WEDDING MEAL, THERE ARE SOME 10 CAMERAS FULL OF UNEXPECTED PHOTOS! GREAT SUCCESS.

I've given in on getting chair covers.. the hall has the UGLY folding chairs... I'd love to have something that would cover them.. or at least cover the backs of the damn things.. SO ugly. I WOULD GET A BOLT OF REMNANT FABRIC, SEW LENGTHS AND "WRAP" THE CHAIR BACKS AND CHAIR SEATS WITH A WRAP, HOLDING THEM TOGETHER WITH FABRIC BOWS ON THE SIDES. EASY, CHEAP AND QUICK

If anyone is reading this.. cheap ways to decorate would be great! LOOK AT THIS WEBSITE: BBC - Homes - Design

Originally Posted by Vim&Vigour

Originally Posted by mistymee:
So.. today we're supposed to go out to eat with 'friends'... actually his friends for dinner.. I don't think they like me much and in the end, it didn't happen. Supposedly a mix up on dates, then confusion over who was going to call.. etc. etc.. I just think they really didn't want to meet up and that is why they didn't call when promised and whatnot.... well, that's fine.. I'm okay with that..

KEL, A PITY - AND POTENTIAL DIFFICULTY - IF THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. FROM NOT WRITING ANYTHING, I SENSE THAT YOU ARE NOT VERY KEEN ON THEM YOURSELF?

They are nice people, but I just don't know them well at all.. I often feel out of place in their company and Geof seems oblivious... his feeling is he loves me so of course everyone else does too, lol.

I don't need for everyone to like me, it's just difficult as these are people that he feels very close to.. they've been with him for years, helping him through his unexpected divorce and the closing of the company where he was the director etc, etc.. so that makes it difficult. AAMOF, he will be Geof's best man at the wedding.

KEL, YOU REALLY NEED TO SORT THIS ONE OUT ASAP - YOUR FUTURE RELATIONSHIP COULD TURN "NASTY" FROM THE OUTSET BECAUSE OF THEM. A BEST MAN TENDS TO BE A KEY FIGURE IN A BLOKE'S LIFE.

I don't think it'll be too much of a problem, due to the fact that they don't live THAT close... (about an hour away vs. my living four hours away right now)... They are important to him but it isn't as if they live down the street and they all spend tons of time together. I think it'll be fine.. my hope is that once I'm here and we have more chances to spend together, that I'll feel less like a fifth wheel when we're spending time together.

I haven't said much to him about them as with our relationship being long distance, there was no need to even discuss it.. we'd have dinner with them occasionally and that was enough for me. BUT THE TIME HAS COME NOW TO SORT THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL, AT LEAST TO AVOID MISUNDERSTANDINGS.

I did talk to him a bit last night.. I told him, I think R & M don't like me much and that I suspect the 'mix-up' was a ruse to get out of going out... he doesn't want to think that of his friends, but he was irritated with them that they could've just said they already had plans and been done with it and we've would've been fine going out on our own, instead of waiting till the last minute to beg off.

All three of them are older than I am THAT'S QUITE OK and have shared friends and experiences that don't include me.. INEVITABLE I often feel like the fifth wheel with them. AT LEAST UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THE OTHERS INVOLVED AND HAVE FORGED YOUR OWN IDENTITY THERE. I'm hoping this changes BUT IT'S DOWN TO YOU once I've moved up here and get to spend more time with his friends. AT LEAST YOU'LL BE IN A BETTER PLACE TO GIVE IT A TRY.

Yes, that's for sure!

The weather was sooo lousy today and the whole day just seemed like mostly a bust.. but we did a lot of talking about our wedding plans and sorted things out.. He will not wear a black suit- hates them... he wants charcoal grey with a blue shirt.. SOUNDS A TAD SELFISH! HIS MARRIAGE BUT YOUR WEDDING!!!

Oh it's his wedding too, though.. and he's wearing a suit! The man doesn't own a suit.. never wears a tie, and he'll be wearing both... we're going suit shopping this AM, later.. our thing is compromise, whenever possible. I think a dark charcoal suit is perfectly good alternative to a black suit... I would prefer a white shirt but I'm right okay with a blue shirt as well. Hey, I'm thinking of lavender as a wedding dress so who am I to concern myself with wearing the proper color shirt! LOL

We will NOT be doing a rehearsal.. he feels that it is too much FAIR ENOUGH, HE MAY HAVE A POINT and though he said he'd go through with one if I insisted, YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO NOT ASK BUT "INSIST" he would not be happy about that.. EITHER IT IS A FRANK TWO WAY CONVERSATION WITH ALL CARDS ON THE TABLE (BUT I'VE NOT HEARD YOUR REQUESTS) OR AGAIN HE IS RATHER SELFISH feels it is unnecessary and pointless.. NOT MUCH CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, OR DESIROUS TO PLEASE YOU and would rather let things happen more organically... *sigh*... so we will wing it.


Vim, Geof doesn't really have a selfish bone in his body, truly and seriously... and though we are both born & raised in America, we are melding two very different cultures... His background is far more of what I'd call 'salt of the earth', though I'm not 100% sure I'm using that phrase correctly.... he was born and raised on a farm and would like things to be more casual and relaxed.. less rigid.. he just feels that the important part of the wedding is that we are sharing our love with our families and friends and there is no need for a big formal production... we don't need to put on a 'show'.. instead we need to include them. We have agreed that instead of just saying "this is the time we're having the ceremony"... and doing that.. that we'll have more of a breakdown for the ceremony.. his niece had an actual written program for the ceremony for each attendee to follow and that just is not going to be necessary with ours.

We're also not having a professional photog.. but are considering asking his youngest, who is an aspiring filmmaker, do video of the ceremony and anything else she'd like to record, for us.. DOES SAVE MONEY. BUT BEWARE, IF THE KID FAILS ON THE DAY, ALL MAY BE HEAPED ON HER AND A FUTURE POINT OF ANGER.

I have absolutely no concerns of that.. if the video ended up blank, I wouldn't much care... first, up until very recently, I didn't even entertain the thought of even having the thing video...but now, 100lbs smaller, it was sort of my idea to maybe consider having it done.. and his daughter, who is 25 has been sort of floundering in how she might be involved in the wedding.. neither of his girls know me very well as they both were adults when Geof & I became involved and both live far away in other states.. I think the world of them and they seem to feel similarly which is fantastic.. and they're thrilled for their dad.. I would just like for a way to include them in the way they're comfortable. And the video would be fun to look back on later on, should it come out okay..


IN ADDITION TO MY FRIENDS PHOTOGRAPHING, I TOOK STACKS OF PHOTOS M Y S E L F!!! THAT WAY I GOT WHAT I WANTED TOO. A TYPICAL WAY IN THE UK IS TO PUT A DISPOSABLE CAMERA ON EACH GUESTS' TABLE SO THAT THEY TAKE PICTURES FROM THEIR TABLE. AT THE END OF THE WEDDING MEAL, THERE ARE SOME 10 CAMERAS FULL OF UNEXPECTED PHOTOS! GREAT SUCCESS.

Hehe... I heard my ex did that at his wedding... which none of the wedding guests- their families only- were too thrilled about, being as they were each others affair partners... they all gave their camera's to the one six year old and he took all the pictures.. My sister-out-law was quite gleeful in telling how fab those pics came out... LOL

I've given in on getting chair covers.. the hall has the UGLY folding chairs... I'd love to have something that would cover them.. or at least cover the backs of the damn things.. SO ugly. I WOULD GET A BOLT OF REMNANT FABRIC, SEW LENGTHS AND "WRAP" THE CHAIR BACKS AND CHAIR SEATS WITH A WRAP, HOLDING THEM TOGETHER WITH FABRIC BOWS ON THE SIDES. EASY, CHEAP AND QUICK

I've thought of doing something like this... there will be about sixty guests.. majority of which will be family...I thought it might be to expensive, but I guess rather than assume it will be, I should go check out the price of fabric.

If anyone is reading this.. cheap ways to decorate would be great! LOOK AT THIS WEBSITE: BBC - Homes - Design

Kel,

As my laptop is playing tricks, I have responded to your quote by writing in capitals in the quoted text above.

I am worried - is this relationship based on love and trust and exchange? Or are you giving in to please him?

Oh yes, much love, trust and exchange. Lots of compromise.. his family way of doing weddings is for the bride, groom & their families do the meal, then serve and do the cleanup... I'm just not at all interested in that kind of thing.. and though it goes against his grain, he's agreed we'll spring for a caterer for instance. We have learned the art of compromise and though it is rarely called for as we're very much alike in many ways...we usually find a way to meet in the middle when necessary.

How can you be "bored" when you are in the company of your future husband with whom you are supposedly going to share the rest of your life?

Oh Vim.. surely you've had boredom hit you occasionally? Though we are both on our vacations, something urgent came up and he had to do some work for a while last evening, so I didn't have his attention when I was writing that.. and not being at home, with my books or magazines handy... and nothing on TV that even remotely interested me.. I was just feeling bored. Watching him fix other people's computers is just not all that interesting, LOL.

I know that marriage arrangements are stressful, but something is missing from your posts.

Oh hon... no worries... I just tend to ramble too much so as not to have written a true novel.. I made it a novella, touching on the points that were foremost in my mind at the time. We've a beautiful location for the ceremony, at a friends house at the top of a mountain, overlooking the Adirondack Mountains and a lake.. (we're heading up later today to get pictures so if I can, I'll post a couple when I get back).. and we've found a really lovely room (called the Grand Room, and rightly soo.. very Grand!) to have our reception.. not the ugly place where most have their receptions around here... our 'Grand Hall' does not have a caterer on site, which is why most go with the other place... we were fine with getting our own caterer.

Have a happy day today and may you be successful in your shopping! Have a look around for fabric or cheap covers. At worst, buy cushion covers...

Good luck and chin up - hopefully only pre-wedding nerves setting in!
Cheers,
Vim