Mistymee...aka Kel's story... - Page 5 - ThinnerTimes

mistymee · 06-23-2008, 05:38 PM

okay.. I looked at them again.. I guess what I meant was that if I look at just these pics.. without looking back at the old ones.. as if I were looking in a mirror instead of a picture.. I still see me 87 lbs ago.. I still see me as 'enormously fat' instead of just 'really fat'. But after all the compliments and whatnot on friday, I was so pumped up and feeling good so looking at the pictures after I'd emailed them home.. it didn't feel so good. And I almost didn't post them because of that.

It is so strange. When I WAS 317, I somehow convinced myself that I wasn't THAT fat.. like Huh? How the hell does our mind play those tricks on us? I seriously didn't see how bad I was when I looked in the mirror in the AM.

Now, all I see is 'bad'. I see the ugly, thick grandmotherly arms.. the matronly bosom, the wide, but flat ass.. (and what is up with THAT??), the still quite large belly.

Ugh..

mistymee · 07-14-2008, 06:26 PM

I'm headed up to VT again this week.. Leaving tomorrow after my doc's appointment. I'm hoping and praying that I won't have to have another surgery so soon but at the same time, I need relief from the incessant foot pain from the <suspected> neuroma in my left foot. It makes it difficult to do much walking.. I've really been staying off of it the last week or so as walking seriously bothers it. My PCP is fairly certain that I do have the neuroma.. from what I've been reading, some people end up needing multiple surgeries before there is even some relief from pain..and honestly... I think I'd rather just deal with what I have rather than risk going through a surgery for nothing or worse. I dunno. I'll stop worrying about it right now until I see the specialist.

After my appointment tomorrow AM, I'll be headed up to VT... for a few things.. one is to work on wedding plans.. find a place to live, find a storage unit.. drop off resumes, see someone at the employment office there to see what options might be open to me.. spend time with my honey...

I'm hoping to take pictures of where we'll be holding the wedding ceremony as well, weather permitting.. we've been told to go ahead and go visit and look around.. we also get to cut as many flowers as we wish, since the owner is away for the week.. he said he won't be enjoying them so someone might as well

Nice guy!

I'm also hoping we can have someone take pictures of the two of us, as we only have a couple and they're pretty bad.. I was at my heaviest when they were taken

Would be nice to have some newer ones, I think!

I'm currently waiting for the buzzer to ring on my haircoloring. I'm going slightly more ash blonde than I've been.. I hope I like it! Oops, there it is!

Mrs. Karen79 · 07-14-2008, 10:24 PM

I just wanted to say CONGRATS girl on all the huge accomplishment you have went through! I read all of your posts hun...and you are a strong woman who never gives up!! I admire you for that ... even when the scales don't read what you want and you dont "see" yourself as "not that fat" anymore....YOU HAVE COME SO FAR and you look WONDERFUL!!

mistymee · 07-15-2008, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistymee

I'm headed up to VT again this week.. Leaving tomorrow after my doc's appointment. I'm hoping and praying that I won't have to have another surgery so soon but at the same time, I need relief from the incessant foot pain from the <suspected> neuroma in my left foot. It makes it difficult to do much walking.. I've really been staying off of it the last week or so as walking seriously bothers it. My PCP is fairly certain that I do have the neuroma.. from what I've been reading, some people end up needing multiple surgeries before there is even some relief from pain..and honestly... I think I'd rather just deal with what I have rather than risk going through a surgery for nothing or worse. I dunno. I'll stop worrying about it right now until I see the specialist.

YAY.. PCP was wrong, I don't have 'Morton's Neuroma'.. I have "Capsulitis" of my foot.

Capsulitis and other excellent foot care products at MyFootShop.com!

(a tiny bit of info there)..

The doc wants me to not do the 4 miles all at once.. he says I need to break it up throughout the day.. and he'd prefer I cross train, choosing swimming, biking & elipitcal riding instead... none of which I can do until I move to VT as I have no where to do them.

Also, I need to get some OTC orthotic inserts for my walking shoes and ice foot after exercising.

The probable cause is from a deformity in my foot from the bunion I have on that foot. Having the bunion meant that the bones in the rest of the foot would become deformed in such a way that my second toe would rise up, pushing the joint at the ball of my foot down meaning that particular spot would be first to strike the ground when I walk.. so I'm taking all my considerable weight on that one tiny spot on my foot instead of having it spread out throughout my whole foot as intended.

So, good news all in all.. I think? We're going to revisit the issue in three weeks, after I get the orthotic, but he doesn't foresee surgery any time soon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Karen79

I just wanted to say CONGRATS girl on all the huge accomplishment you have went through! I read all of your posts hun...and you are a strong woman who never gives up!! I admire you for that ... even when the scales don't read what you want and you dont "see" yourself as "not that fat" anymore....YOU HAVE COME SO FAR and you look WONDERFUL!!

Aw, thanks Karen.. I appreciate the kind words.. Funny.. I redid my haircolor last night and this evening, getting ready to go visit with some friends I was rather taken aback by how nice I looked, LOL.. ha! Tomorrow I'll be back whining about how bad I look.. this is such a rollercoaster ride!

RebeccaNV · 07-15-2008, 08:57 PM

It's good that your problem doesn't require surgery...and yeah, I read your story

Godsblessedme · 07-16-2008, 09:57 AM

thank God Kel! wohooo. you young thang' you

have fun in VT i know how beautiful it is this time of year, my dad and mom and i used to goto Rutledge to my dad's company all the time

mistymee · 07-16-2008, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistymee

The doc wants me to not do the 4 miles all at once.. he says I need to break it up throughout the day..

OOPS.. I was bad. We started walking along a walking/bike path and ended up doing just about 2 miles in.. problems is.. only way out is back the way we came.. so here I am one day from my appointment and doing the stupid four miles at once. Idiot. I'm icing the foot now, while Geof showers and then we'll be headed out for a good part of the day.. maybe meeting up with some friends for dinner later.

mistymee · 07-17-2008, 11:09 AM

Today has been a stressful day.. trying to get the cover letter and resume for a job I'd like ready to send to the HR director... it called for an essay which I drew a complete *BLANK*.. had to call a friend to walk me through some ideas..

This vacation is turning into a very stressful one

We're off to go see Gandolf Murphy & the Slobovian Circus of Dreams perform this evening though.. That'll be fun

RebeccaNV · 07-17-2008, 11:33 AM

I hope that you feel better soon!

Vim&Vigour · 07-17-2008, 12:15 PM

Kel,
there is definitely a difference between your photos wearing black and you "now"! Wow! Keep going, even though progress feels slow!
JMO, as you are into colouring your hair: - I bet you would look younger still with cut hair, shoulder length rather than bunned up. You did write that you were losing hair though... Just thought keeping it shorter, with hair voluminisers might cheer you up - try a wig first!
Cheers,
Vim