This is going to be kind of whiny.. if you hate those kinds of posts.. maybe move on to some other post lol..
The scale- I wanted to break that effin' thing this morning when it showed 244. Again. I KNOW this is just another one of those damn stalls. I know I should quit complaining as I'm still better off today than I was 4 months ago. But DAYUM.
The hair- I got in the shower and started to lather up... I had clumps of the blond stuff in my hands by the time I was done with the shampoo. My thin, thin hair is going to get even thinner. I guess it's apropos to my new, thinner self but again, DAYUM. Looks like I'll need to be looking for a wedding hat that is appropriate for indoor wear.. or a wig
The clothing- I'm running out of clothing to wear.. I've donated eight bags of fat(ter) clothing and I am flat out broke.
I sew, so I can do some alterations, but I am not a fan of the repair, alteration stuff.. I like creating from a bolt of fabric more. I am just not that great at the alterations thing on my own body. I need a body double, but clearly I am not going to invest in something like that right now.
The bra I wore to work today had a problem, and I didn't notice until it was too late to do something about it.. and it was uncomfortable all day long. I couldn't get it off fast enough.. ugh.
The girl- Having my daughter home from college is a blessing and then, not so much. I love her and we had a really fun weekend, overall.. but it's been so stressful, with an unexpected college tuition payment, to finding her a car that runs well and is safe for her, etc..
The Job- I am bored beyond tears at my job. I love that I can pretty much schedule my workload as I see fit, but the job just does not challenge me in any way, shape or form. It is almost a relief to know I'll be leaving here and moving on to what I hope is a better fit for me, somewhere.
I also want to go back to school so desperately, but with two kids in college right now, and all the other things going on in my life, the wedding, the move, the job search.. It just keeps getting pushed further and further back. By the time I get to go back, I'll be really old.. and then..will it be worth it financially to do so?
I know it would be good for me in terms of mental health, self-confidence and self-respect.. but would it be wise to put so much money towards a degree at a time when retirement saving should be a priority? I dunno.. so much- TOO much. ugh..
The Fiancé: He will be here for an extended long weekend and I can't wait to see him.
I love him so much.. I love how he loves my children and how they love him back. I'm blessed with his love & support and I still worry that I'm going to do something to screw things up.
After 5 years together, he knows both the good and the bad and loves me anyway. He loves ME without conditions on how my body looks or how I do my hair or whether I did up my face. I don't know why I worry so much, but the closer I get to moving, the more I find I think of all these things that can go wrong.
I guess I've piled a lot of whiny shit into one post. I will work on a 'counting my blessings' post soon, promise.
kind of whiny here tonight
/CW-181/GW-140
) Man that stuff is good to walk to, hehe
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