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Personal Stories Whether you, a family member, or a friend had a gastric bypass or Lap-BandŽ surgery, share your story with others.

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Old 03-29-2008, 12:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Highland Heights, KY
Surgeon: Dr. Sonnanstine
Age: 33
Posts: 222
Default Angel's Story - What's eating me...

I'm still pre-op but I thought I'd go ahead and share a little bit of my past which may resonate with others as part of how I 'got here' to this point of being overweight maybe to protect myself from the world. Let me preface this by saying I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, I don't feel sorry for me so you shouldn't either. The end of the story (minus weight loss) has all turned out GREAT and I'm around here because I'm ready to take my fat suit off for good.

I grew up as a pretty poor, child of divorce, with a mother whose alcohol and drug problems were beginning to become apparent. My step-father, a controlling and verbally abusive BIG MEANIE, made most of my pre-teen to teen years a litany of how stupid, ugly, lazy and fat I was and how I would be attractive if I just 'took a little pride in myself'. I was the Cinderella of the house from a really young age, doing the grocery shopping, cleaning and everyone's laundry... but Prince Charming was nowhere in sight back then.

That's a pretty short summation of years of pain but the underlying feelings of abandonment by a parent and near daily reinforcement of a negative self-image are probably familiar to a lot of us.

As I got older I became my Mom's 'partying buddy'. By older I mean barely a teenager. It's hard to really understand that what you're doing is wrong when your parent is leading you down a path... though by no means am I saying that as an adult we have no responsibility for what we've become regardless of how we got there.

After crusing along comfortably, using drugs 'recreationally' with and without her, I had another 'trial' in my life. In 1999 I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (aka PTC, aka Fat Girl's Disease). For anyone who's not familiar with the condition you can find more information at Idiopathic intracranial hypertension - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The short version is that the pressure in my head was 3x normal and my eyes were beginning to 'die' from a lack of blood flow.

When you have IIH the main thing you hear from every doctor is that you could basically fix yourself if you lose weight. As I'm sure most all are aware, some doctors have a better way of expressing this than others. By the time I'd seen all the associated specialists for my condition I basically felt as low as I ever did as a kid. Like many other people I couldn't manage to lose the weight even though it was causing me such extreme pain! I became very depressed and very addicted to the pain medication that the doctors were giving in such copious amounts. The pain of IIH is compared to the pain one experiences with a brain tumor or a headache worse than a migraine.

My condition was finally brought under control in 2001 with a ventriculoperitoneal shunt procedure since I didn't respond to any medications or the brow-beatings I took regularly from my physicians to lose weight.

At 6 weeks post-op I checked myself into rehab upon realizing that I was monumentally depressed and had lost all control over the medication. I had a 'lightswitch' moment where I realized I was in no pain yet the urge to take the medicine (oxycontin, it's a pretty well known drug) was beyond anything I could handle alone.

In therapy there I finally started to understand that my childhood wasn't quite right, I became able to be angry at my Mom which I'd never been able to do previously. I learned so much about myself that eventually I even learned to love myself enough to let someone else love me!

Now I'm 32, happily married to a wonderful french guy and the last hurdle I see to fulfilling my true potential is to become healthier and start taking part in life to it's fullest. I've read a lot of posts here and it's helped me to understand a little better what I'm in for but most of all I'm really glad I found a place where people will be able to understand what I hope will be a duality... the FAT me and the REAL me. Eventually I'd like to kick the FAT me out on her butt, but first things first, I have to find the REAL me.
__________________

Height: 5'6"

Highest Weight: 280
Surgery Weight: 257
Current Weight: 196
My Goal Weight: 140

Lap RNY Surgery Date: 07/09/08
Onederland: 11/09/08
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Old 04-01-2008, 04:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Idaho
Surgeon: Dr. Brian Obyrne New U Program
Age: 49
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Just wanted to say "Welcome". Good luck on your journey..it sounds as though you are well on your way. It is so healing to hear others stories and the strugles and successes they have had.
God Bless
Lori
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Date:07/06/2006
297---worst
290---start of program
286---pre op
167---now:
155 a more realistic, DR. inspired goal.
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Old 04-01-2008, 06:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks for sharing you struggles and journey with us....we are all here for each other and can't wait to follow your journey to find the real you!! Huggles!
__________________
Andrea.....mommy to twins
Surgery date 04/09/07
San Antonio, TX
University Health Systems
420/388/213/190
Highest/day of surgery/current/goal
207 lbs gone forever!!!
Starting BMI 62 Current BMI 31.5
Went from a 5X/6X -34/36 to a 0X-14/16
Open RNY
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Old 04-15-2008, 03:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome Angel!
Interesting background and more importantly interesting how you managed to find a "handle" on yourself

My warmest wishes to your continued successful journey on your own path - may it be paved with smooth stones and lots of flowers!

Welcome on board TTF - I do hope you'll find the support and care here that I have enjoyed these last 5 months.

Cheers,
Vim - in London
__________________

LAP RNY 10th Dec 2007 / 240lbs / BMI 39.9
Current 178 lbs / BMI 29.7 No longer obese, "just" overweight! - Goal 140 lbs
TTF Gym Rat #70 & Sweedebear


Vim's story is on the thread below
http://www.thinnertimesforum.com/per...-umbrella.html

Making the most of every opportunity!
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Old 04-15-2008, 03:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Sounds like you are on the right path and you did just the right thing checking into rehab. You know you best.
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DOS: 3/17/08
Highest:262
Start of Surgery:219
Current: 194
OneDerLand: 5/1/08
Goal: 146
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Old 04-15-2008, 04:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Woodland, CA
Surgeon: Dr. Laura Machado
Age: 45
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Welcome aboard!

Have to admit that this forum is a god-send to alot of people. Unless you've been where we are or were....you'll never understand!

Seems like your on the right path towards a new and improved you!
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Height 5' 8"
288/
181
/170-180
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Old 06-16-2008, 02:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Age: 33
Posts: 222
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I finally got my date. The new me starts on July 9th 2008.

I don't know if this is common but my brain is just spinning with all the things I want/need to take care of before surgery. I'm tired just thinking about it
__________________

Height: 5'6"

Highest Weight: 280
Surgery Weight: 257
Current Weight: 196
My Goal Weight: 140

Lap RNY Surgery Date: 07/09/08
Onederland: 11/09/08
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Old 06-16-2008, 02:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel~in~KY View Post
I finally got my date. The new me starts on July 9th 2008.

I don't know if this is common but my brain is just spinning with all the things I want/need to take care of before surgery. I'm tired just thinking about it
Congrats on getting your date. The new you is less then a month away. It will be here before you know.
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Cassie

Preop/Current/Goal
252 / 148 / 137

Lap RNY 07/30/2007

Gall Bladder Removal 12/28/2007
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Old 06-16-2008, 03:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm excited for you. Your story touched me. I also suffer with chronic pain (fibromyalgia) and am addicted to oxycontin. I've weened myself from 8 pills a day down to 2 pills a day AGAINST the advice of my doctor. I just don't like not having the control. I'd almost rather be in pain than be stoned 24/7. Oxy is a bad drug. A big part of me hopes that after I lose weight, the pain will go away, but many doctors tell me it won't. Only 1 of my doctors will admit that the diagnosis could be wrong and the weightloss could fix everything, and not surprisingly, that's the doctor who wants to take out my lap band (never got any aftercare) and do GBP. Hard to know who to trust or what to do. I wish you success. Just wanted to let you know that I know what you're going thru, and I'm here if you need to talk.
__________________
Lap Band 09/13/2004. Did not receive any proper aftercare.
Current status: Losing weight on my own, without restriction.
On surgeon's GBS waiting list - approximate wait 10 months - April or May 2009.

Start: 334
Current: 318
Goal: 175

Official Scale Whore #18!
Gym Rat # 110!
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Old 06-16-2008, 04:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You will be a great success, understanding what drives us to abuse ourselves is the first step to health and happiness. Debs
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Lap RNY-still waiting for date

Weight 258
Goal weight 150




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