The Story - Page 3 - ThinnerTimes

Gladitsme · 04-19-2005, 12:46 PM

Ed,

Thanks for your openness and honesty. At one point I drank to excess, but always went back to my 1st love of food. I am so glad to hear you're in AA, because just like OA it's a 3 fold problem with alcohol. My older brother is an alcoholic, and has 9 years of sobriety. I know I'll have to watch out for myself once I can't use food anymore to smother my feelings. I believe you can make it, and just know that drugs and alcohol are not a solution any more than food was. Hugs and prayers to you!!!!!!!!

Dara · 04-19-2005, 01:32 PM

Ed:

Your story and your struggles are examples of why we must continually address our issues. The psychological and emotional issues associated with overeating and morbid obesity don't suddenly disappear after surgery. The harsh reality is that the fight is not over after WLS. In fact, it may never be over for those of us with psychological and emotional issues. Replumbing our gastrointestinal tract is a tool to help us, but that's all it is. I believe that long-term WLS success is about 30 percent physical and 70 percent psychological.

You're a huge weight-loss success story and yet life isn't perfect for you. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles with such frank honesty. I applaud you for having enough courage to peel back the facade and bear your soul. We need to hear you, Ed. May God bless you and help you.

Esouza · 04-21-2005, 01:10 PM

Whew.. A couple of days of detox will do a lot for a guy. So I've been sober for a whopping 4 days. Which is about 3 days longer than I had for any period of time in the last month.

It's pretty apparent that I'm an alcoholic at this point. I still try to mess with the idea that I had a "rough month" but that's just the denial talking. I've been to 5 AA meetings do far and instead of looking at the differences I began looking at the similarities. There are many. No I had never lost a job, woman, home, kids, or whatever over drinking... yet. I don't ever want to get to that point. I did that with compulsive overeating. I have drank over anger, lonliness and stress. I drank with total disregard of finanaces, health, work, and all around well-being. For example.. I'm in the meeting and they pass the basket and I thorow in my dollar. I think man I'm going to have to budget for as many meetings I'll be attending. The screwed up part is that and entire months worth of meetings would cost me less than 2 hrs in a bar. Where did my values go? I must have spent over $500 on drinking over the last month. It much more than that tho. How many times have I woken up and not remembered a thing from the night before. Then I start doing damage control just in case I ticked anyone off. I would send some emails or PM's apologizing for my behavior and the responses were "what are you talking about?" Truthfully I have no idea. I would be covering my bases just in case. I went to vegas for work yesterday and usually I stay over but I could feel the thoughts of a goodtime coming on. I called some friends. The simple solution was to come home after I was done with my work there. Can you believe I couldn't figure that out. I was thinking well I could go into the casino with everyone and not drink. Yeah I'll have to be tested sometime so why not now. I can do this. Then I called an guy I've known for a few years who is in AA and I ask him what to do. I tell him if you tell me to go home I will. He simply said "Like they say..keep it simple." Go home and stay sober or stay have risk it. I choose to stay sober. So not only am I drinking like an alcoholic but I'm thinking like one. Physically I feel much better. I was pretty swollen and I didn't know it. It was evident on some photos and in my clothes. I knew it wasn't fat but maybe water retention? in anycase I haven't felt this good in a while. Being in recovery feels good. I'm starting to feel grounded again and calm. I feel like I'm "home" again around people in recovery. People who know that drinking, overeating, or subtance abuse is not the way to deal with life's stressors. I've committed myself to 90 meetings in 90 days. Hopefully it'll stick. I think it will.

nurse05 · 04-24-2005, 09:00 AM

Keep up the hard work and it will pay off for you in the long run. You have overcome many struggles in your life and this is just a little bump in the road. The positive thing is you get all the cofee you can drink for a dollar a day. lol You are surrounded by support and love dont forget that.
we are all thinking of you and wishing the best.

Dara · 04-24-2005, 09:07 AM

Ed:

Just thinkin' about you and hoping you're staying the course. Don't be a stranger. We care about you.

Blueyz · 04-24-2005, 09:45 AM

Hi Ed~
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and hope every day is better for you. We are here for you every step of the way.

Esouza · 04-24-2005, 12:07 PM

Everyday keeps getting better. I looked around and my surroundings had become a mess. I cleaned the car, bedroom, desk. Got organized. Still going to those meetings everyday and everyday relaizing I am more like them than I ever thought I was. It isn't really about drinking. It could have been an addiction to anything. It's about how I handle events in my life. Before it was food and over the last 2 years it had become alcohol. Same as the food tho it just got worse a little at a time. I'm a binge drinker. I can go weeks without drinking but when I decide to lay it on I just don't stop. What started happening was that it became a habit and every little thing became an excuse to drink. It got to the point where almost everytime I drank it was a blackout if I drank vodka... So of course I swtiched to beer. How's that for thinking like an alcoholic? Most people would have simply stopped drinking. Then I started juggling vodka an beer during the evening to prevent the blackout. I would start with vodka so I could get a quick buzz and then maintain with beer. Now this isn't something that took much thought. It's just started happening and became my drinking habit. The fact is I have no business drinking. I know that now. I'm working on how to handle my life better no matter what it throws at me.

Take care guys,

Ed

JohnsWife4Life · 04-24-2005, 12:07 PM

Well Ed, a week has gone by, I hope you are feeling much better. You are not alone in your life of addiction. I have my own addictions, and I once was addicted to crack. I know the struggles of getting over a craving. Transfer your addiction to sex, at least it will be good exercise.

HAMPTON5555 · 04-24-2005, 10:06 PM

Hi Ed,

I just read your thread and I want to extend my thoughts, prayers and positive energy your way. You were so patient and informational to me when I was so early out on my WLS journey. I wish I could help you go through your tough times, but the reality is you are the only one who can succeed. Succeed you will. I have many friends who go to AA meetings on a regular basis and have for years. It is a part of their life and we love them all the same.

Know that you are not alone!! You're still an amazing inspiration, maybe even more so, because you are human, like the rest of us.

I'll be praying you receive the stregnth you need every week, every day, every minute and every second, because thats how much we all need it!!!

Rain

Barbarajo · 04-25-2005, 07:54 AM

Ed,

I used to have a crystal habit about 20 years ago. Before that it was pot, before that it was something else. But during all the that it was men. And addiction is an addiction. We are all addicted to food that's why we had to have surgery.

Now for the past 5 years I have teaching christ centered 12 step same as AA just with Christ as the higher power. I love it. I love being with real people. I know that it is only by the grace of God that I am currently in an addiction. I know it is only by the grace of God that I am not in a bottle drowding my life past problems. So for today I choose to be free from my compulsive addictive behaviors. I chose to do positive things with my time. But I also chose to look at my past for what is was, past. I have to chose to feel the emotions in a safe enviroment and get past it. If I don't feel the feeling and work through it my past will continue to control me. It has controlled me enough.

Ed keep up the good fight. You are worth fighting for. You deserve to be happy. You are a wonderful beautiful person and you deserve freedom. Fight for it my friend. It is not easy, it is hard. The best things is life are hard to get but worth every step of the battle.

Chin up bottle down.