A New Me! - Page 19 - ThinnerTimes

JohnsWife4Life · 08-17-2005, 11:52 AM

Well Meaghan, we know one thing, and that is, it will all be done, and then it will be done. Even if it takes you to the last minute. We may procratinate, and end up with a half ass job. But, it gets done.

Here is a good note. Tiffani Autumn went to the Kern River and fell in and got bashed up. When she got home and got to bed, she felt the aftermath, a severe stiff neck. She called me finally, after three weeks, she was crying, and said "Mommy, I need help" I was only a few minutes from her house, and I was there within 5 minutes. She was scared and in alot of pain. I took care of her and got her to feel better. I took her medication and taught her how to make a "HOT" pack, home made, and I gave her a benadryl and put her to sleep. She told me that she was going to get Lei Lani at the beginning of next month, for her 4th birthday.

We didn't apologize to one another, and I won't. I didn't do anything wrong, but I did say hurtful things after. I am just glad that she called and I was able to help her. I do love her so very much. I just hate that she has had such a rough time in her life. I cannot change the way things are. People are so cruel.

We have family therapy at the hospital today, Mark is going to be released from the program on Friday, so hopefully he will be better. I have been up at the house though, so I haven't had a lot of time with him this week. He is on 150 mg of welbutrin daily, and 25mg of benadryl at bedtime. Last night he seemed much calmer, but then I brought my friend and her daughter down, (the ones that are staying at my house).

Anyway, we have family therapy in a few minutes, so I am going to go get ready. Good luck on your packing, and I will chirp on ya later!

Love ya!

JohnsWife4Life · 08-18-2005, 11:42 PM

Well, it has been a long twenty four hours. Mark was about to be released from his day care program, tomorrow would have been his last day. He was acting strange, and very irritable the last few days, not wanting to go back, trying to get into websites about witch craft, snapping our heads off for everything.

Yesterday we had a family session, and as soon as Mark came in he had an attitude. I tried to tell the therapist that he had thrown a fit about coming for the last three days. The fight was on, and he mentioned killing himself. He was being very disrespectful. Blah blah, and it escalated into an argument with he and I. I told them to keep him there. I realized the welbutrin was causing severe side affects of irritability. I can't take it for the fact that it has a side affect of weight loss, so they thought that would be good for Mark, but then I asked to go on it and my psychiatrist told me I rage too much and that is a side affect. I saw that in him and I told them I wasn't going to give him another pill. They got all uppety with me. Tried to tell me it wasn't the medication. I was like hello, I am his mother, I see what it is doing to him, and I am a nurse, and I have a little training in psych myself. They tried to rush him out of there, (I did accuse them of trying to hurry because their shift was over, and they wanted to go home. They didn't like that). They were trying to get me to just let Mark be, and I said no, he has rules to follow at home, and when he doesn't like them he throws a fit, and treats me like this and I am supposed to walk on egg shells so he won't kill himself? I can't believe it. He was really disgusting to me. I finally said you keep him, I am done. I left. They asked him if he could guarantee that he would be safe. He couldn't do it. I was so upset. I mean they are not addressing the issues and the doctor has not called me but one time in 3 weeks, and then was only to get my permission to put him on welbutrin. I have been asking for a phone call for some time, and at every family session they tell me that he will call me.

I left last night with the intention of not going to visit him. I was going to go to the meeting and out back while John went to visit. But when the doctor again did not call me, after Mark being admitted and me telling them no more Welbutrin, I felt helpless. I decided instead of the meeting I would go get my son. That is what I did. After two hours, they discharged him to me. They had stopped the welbutrin and was putting him on prozac. But they can't until they get my permission. I told them that while I liked the doctor because he helped my older son, I found that by treating two of my sons, and Mark for three weeks, that I had never met the man, never. Now how you gonna treat my son and not talk to his mother. I don't think it is right, and I would deal with Mark myself. I found that John and I are seeing a therapist together, and we will add Mark to a family session, and an extra day a week for family. I wan't to be in on this therapy from now on. I let them handle it for 3 weeks, and he wants to be in witchcraft, and treat his parents bad, no thank you.l He needs a good old fashioned spanking at times. I told them I would guarantee his safety even if John and I had to take turns staying awake. Mark was so happy to see me and ran to hug me. I asked him if he wanted to go home and behave and of course he said yes. The doctor did give him a prescription for prozac, even though the therapist didn't think he would. Why not? I am a nurse, I know what to look for, but I don't need a script to take my son home, unless he was on a 5150 or they thought he was not safe with me, I will get the medication, I just know he isn't staying here another minute.

24 hours back in there was enough reality for Mark that I am confident he will remain safe. If prozac doesn't work, then we will keep trying until we find what works for my son.

On a different note, my daughter Tiffani called me Monday night crying, she had been hurt, and needed me. Last night she called and asked if we were going to talk about what happened or pretend it didn't. I said I will pretend it didn't happen. I am sorry it happened, but it did, and I choose not to discuss it. I don't need to do anything but move forward. I will always be her mother, and I will always love her and will always be there for her no matter what.

So that is it. I did get to hear my unborn grandchild's heart beat yesterday, on voice mail, and I saved it. I will listen to it every day until he/she is born. I am getting really excited.

Tiffani is going to get Lei Lani in September. They plan on having her 4th birthday party with her daddy, then coming home to California.

Life just keeps on keeping on, just the way God plans.

Well, that is it for now.

KellyB · 09-16-2005, 11:23 AM

It takes an incredible person to be able to be able to write about this. Don't give up hope. The sun always shines again. Addictions of all kinds are a horrible thing to have to watch someone you love go through. Good luck to you. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Kel

Meaghan · 11-16-2005, 06:22 PM

Has anyone heard from Traci??? I'm worried about her - hope she is doing okay...

Groovey kinda Love · 11-17-2005, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meaghan

Has anyone heard from Traci??? I'm worried about her - hope she is doing okay...

Hi Meaghan,
I was thinking the same thing.... I have been wondering where she has been keeping herself these days.

JohnsWife4Life · 03-06-2006, 10:54 PM

Thanks for thinking of me. I have been off for a long time, and when I did get on the computer I rarely had time to do more than check email once in a while. I have been a traveling nurse. Spent some time on Venice Beach, and doing okay. Mark is acting up again, but I am back home again now. I start back to work here in San Diego tomorrow night.

Just because I haven't been here, doesn't mean I don't think of yall, ALOT. I had dinner with Bridget a few nights ago, and it is for sure, we still have good pouches.

I do go up and down in weight, have went back up as far as 142, just lazy. When I work and am not in a funk, my weight falls off. So, yes I still drink two or three mocha frappuccinos, a day, but my butt doesn't hurt, and I still wear between a 4-8. I like the 8 the best, but I am in a 4 right this minute, and I still wrap my fingers around my wrists, so I am happy.

When my weight stabalized, and I gained, I really freaked out. I started taking the stairs all over the place, and on the beach I walked up three flights a day at least three times. I also take the stairs at work, but not more than three flights.

Am I pudgy? Oh yes I am, quite the pudgy lil thing, but I like it. I eat what I want, when I want, where I want, and life is good there.

I still can't drink anything full strength except green tea and frappuccinos.

I see you have emerged into gorgeous women with a purpose in life.

I am usually cold as ice, but at the two year mark in just a few days, I find I am able to break a sweat again, but by that time, everyone else is just about ready to die of heat stroke.

I read your posts a while back but I couldn't get in because I couldn't remember my password, but I am here now, and can't wait to enduldge in all the activities.

I had a grandson, that I never get to see, and my lil sugar plum has been and gone back to her dadday after 5 months.

Life continues on, even when it isn't what we thought it would be.

Suez, how is your health, I think of you often, and hope that you are in school now and living life to the fullest.

Meaghan, I hope your move was smooth, and that you are happy up North. I was so close to Long Beach while I was in Venice. Alot of the other travelers were housed at Cypress Beach in Long Beach. I almost felt rich there, lol, but then I opened my eyes!

Kim I am waiting for my purple scarf! John bought me a shirt with one and I really like the way it warms my neck while I am in the wheather.

Can't name ya all, but at one time or another you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Have a great day. Hope to see some of you at the meeting at Bridgets on Wednesday.

Oh yeah, Pam, man I saw your pic a few months back, you are the BOMB!

JohnsWife4Life · 03-07-2006, 01:08 PM

I am tired of the apartment in Lakeside. I am looking for a 3 or 4 bedroom house. Anyone out here have an idea? I want to stay in Lakeside. I found a 3 bedroom condo, but seems too small, don't want to get stuck with 3,000.00 a month payments when I will out grow it in oh lets say, move in day!

Meaghan · 03-30-2006, 08:42 AM

I don't know how I missed this? Anyway...glad things are pretty normal again for you!

I absolutely LOVE living up here...could do without all this rain right now but that will end soon. I love being in a house again and it just seems friendlier here than Long Beach. Plus my dad's family is from Petaluma so I have some history here and people know my last name, which is kind of cool.

Work is great and the people are so much better than my old job. I actually have a couple friends from years ago that I see every now and then too. One of them (they are both older women) had a wine party in January and set me up with a guy....he thought I was too young and I though he was too old (when she told us about each other) but when we met - we hit it off. (he just turned 51 and I'm 37 - no big deal really). Anyway - he's great, treats me better than any man I have ever dated. Who knows what will happen (wasn't even going to mention it cause I don't want to jinx it!) but it's fun for now! So, things are good here and my son loves it too...it's also soooo great to be closer to my parents too.

Any who - I'm so glad to hear from you and know you are doing alright, I think about you often and am so lucky to have met you....and have you visit me in the hospital - that was above and beyond kind!

ThinnerTerri · 04-01-2006, 09:05 AM

sigh...I can so relate thanks for sharing. wish we could talk more