"Girl Disappearing" - ThinnerTimes

Persephone · 12-22-2007, 08:21 AM

My journey toward gastric bypass started as most journeys do, when I was at my heaviest and hopeless.

I was paranoid and certain that my co-workers were all poking fun at me behind my back but would never dare to say anything to my face. This led me to seek a transfer to a different department. While in training with eight beautiful and wonderful ladies, I discovered that half of them had surgery for gastric bypass. During the 2 months of training they would discuss thier different experiences and success.

I started to do more research about gastric bypass and lapband. I made the call to Bridges sometime in August 2007 and they scheduled me for a seminar on 09-28. I attended the required classes thereafter and scheduled a consult with the dr office the end of October. Apprx two weeks before my appointment my HR office held meetings to go over 2008 benefits and options. I was devestated to learn that United Health Care was no longer an option. I had consulted them about the surgery and it was covered. All it required was a qualifying BMI and a letter from a doctor. At that time I had been ecstatic that was all they needed and I would not need to jump through the hoops that I had heard were neccessary.

September and October had been absoulte horror to get through. I went on a business trip and on one of the flights had to request a seat belt extension. The flight attendent was very discreet but my burning cheeks were a sure give away. On the shuttle to the hotel my co workers poked fun at other overweight people in our office. I said softly "does this make them bad people." but my voice was just above a whisper. It was like I was not even there. I could live through it all with my head held high. The most heartbreaking was the kids at Ashton's school teasing him about his fat mom. My kid just "saw red in his solar system" and went at the kids with fists flying but he cried at home.

I clung to the hope of having my surgery before the end of the year. My appointment with Dr. Juarez was exhausting. His waiting room was packed to the brim and I had to wait three hours to see him. My hope was draining from me every minute. When at last they called my name and led me back to the scale, my emotions were frazzled. The scale read 260 and I broke down in tears. I was in denial since reaching 210 and I knew I had obviously gained weight but 50 pounds shocked and saddened me. At the end of the consult Dr. Juarez stated that he could get my in mid march. I explained my insurance situation. He then took my chart directly to the schedulers desk but she had left for the day. He told me to give her a call the next day. I had to be persistant. I couldnt reach her at first. Two weeks later I spoke with the receptionist and advised her of my fustration. I stated that if I had to start all over next year I would be seeking another surgeons office. She explained that one girl was doing the work of three people and then transfered me to her voicemail. I left another message and then lost hope.

I still continued to go to the classes but put my hopes on hold till 2008. I did not schedule the mental eval or persue other neccessary steps.

However a miracle occured apprx a week after Thanksgiving. I got a phone call that I was approved and to schedule the dates for surgery. When she pulled my chart she saw that there were no results from my psyc or pcp. I promised to get it all done and she penciled in December 14 2007. Several frantic phone calls secured the neccessary appts and I called to set my surgery date in stone.

It all went so fast.

And now I'm 7 days post op and feeling much better then I thought I would. I'm grateful to have found this community so I can document my journey here. You seem a lovely and supporting bunch!

Manda

"7 am So it begins again
1-0 (zip) favoring familiar silhouettes"

Toony · 12-22-2007, 09:56 AM

That's quite a story Manda! I'm glad things worked out and you were able to get the surgery done in '07. That was a worry of mine to, that insurance may change their policy or procedures for approval after I'd been working on it for 6 months... Luckily, no changes for 08... and I'm all scheduled!

Keep positive thoughts going... I'm quite certain they help in recovery!

katie

Persephone · 12-22-2007, 10:14 AM

You go into surgery 3 days before my 35th birthday

My thoughts will be with you!

My follow up appointment is scheduled for 01-09-08. Under my new insurance plan I may have to get a referal to see my Dr......that's so crazy to me.

But yes, I'm extremely lucky I was able to get in before the end of the year.

Your day will be here before you know it!

rappaport · 12-22-2007, 10:23 AM

You should check with UHC on the followup appointments. My wife called them during my pre-op days, and they told her that all the followups required by the surgeon were included in the price of the surgery. I didn't have to pay for the first followup and my second is on 1/8.

Persephone · 12-22-2007, 12:23 PM

Thanks. I will call them. It saves a call to BCBS and possibly a trip to my pcp.

I will miss UHC. They were nothing but good to me. Even my mental eval only cost me 50.00

Persephone · 12-24-2007, 01:29 PM

So today it all caught up with me.

I'm simply exhausted. I'm not sure if it's at all related to my surgery but I am suffering from the strangest and sharpest menstral cramps I have EVER had. I have been so wrapped up in the new things that my body was going through that I seemed to forget about the same ol same ol....had to send DD to store for tampons. At least the head hunger and meltdowns I had last week have an reasonable explanation.

I'm going to swallow some magical pain elixer and try to sleep it off.

On the bright side, my mom is coming over to give me a manicure and pedicure so I won't be ashamed making the rounds on Christmas. I should have some pics by tomoro. My brothers digi camera is of much higher quality then my lil ol cellphone. DD is taking care of playing Santa and wrapping all the presents.

The liquid diet is wearing thin. Might as well just live in the bathroom. **sigh** I certainly don't mean to complain. It's just that same days are better the others.

"so the deset blooms strawberry cactus can we blame nature if she's had enough of us?"

Hamburgler · 12-26-2007, 06:56 AM

some things just are. I never intended my WLS to happen for me, it was a "lets see" kind of thing. My employer removed all options for WLS for 2008 so I was thrilled to have mine done in October. Congrats!

Persephone · 12-26-2007, 08:39 AM

Everything happens for a reason. I'm a firm believer in that! Congrats on getting your surgery done before 2008 and on your weight loss!

" you can stare all day at the sky, but that won't bring her back...that won't bring her back. you say youre waiting on fate, but I think fate is now. I think fate is now waiting on us....."

Persephone · 12-26-2007, 01:22 PM

Christmas was hard. I don't deny it.

I'm still on the 3 week post surgery liquid stage and so I couldnt indulge in just a lil of this, a bit of that. I definitly missed our traditional morning mimosa! And the food looked absoulutly delicious. Our final stop of the day was at my sister in laws mother. She had WLS apprx 3 years ago and the woman hooked me up! Strained potato soap and jello. It was the best soup I've had so far. She also will take in my clothing as I shrink.

My brother and sister in law gave me a high end scale! J objected at first and thought it was a totally tactless gift but her mom laid it down for her. A scale prior to surgery would be over the edge insulting. After surgery? A neccessary tool. I opened it and then was urged to the privacy of the bathroom so I could weigh in myself but would then be expected to share results. I was so nervous. I caught J's hand as she was exiting and made her stay with me. I was surprised to see 12 pounds gone. No one else was. They claimed they could see it. I had loaded up on water before arriving. My body also wildly fluctuates during this time of the month. I made a promise to myself to only weigh myself every Friday. (so as not to become obsessive) but I couldnt resist stepping on the scale this morning. The numbers read 241! Wow

I became completly overwhelmed at DD's sisters house. His mom went completly overboard and I was not expecting it. Tons of gifts for my kiddo..toys, books and art supplies. Among my stash was a gift certificate to Lady Foot locker for some new sneakers! Books to read during my recovery. D received a digital camera so I will have a new profile pic soon. I couldnt contain my excitment that I would be able to document my weight loss. I thanked her with tears in my eyes and she told me that I was a part of thier family.

Christmas morning with my own little family went great. Ash was not expecting his PSP. We made sure it was the last present he opened. He jumped with joy when he opened it. He declared it "the best christmas ever" and danced around.

As with every year I'm simply relieved when it is over and I have 364 days before it hits again. This Christmas held a lot of "this time next year" moments for me. I'm not only changing outside but inside as well. And it has been duly noted. All in all it's worth it. I'm worth it.

Persephone · 12-27-2007, 07:33 AM

I'm smoking.

During the classes I attended leading up to surgery, they explained that no surgery would be done if you were still smoking.

When I went to do all my pre-op exams I easily passed the heart/lung test and my lungs were declared 38 yrs old. When I told the specialist about my pack of day habit she was shocked. My lungs should be more then 45 yrs old by her closest estimate. I explained that I simply did not inhale. I suck smoke into my mouth and then immediatly blow it out. Friends and family denounce this method as a waste of Nat Shermans ( I won't smoke anything but Nats) Of course some nicotine still makes it into my body. Simply touching a cig can absorb through the skin. It is a head addiction for me. I don't really suffer nicotine withdrawal. I smoke because of the essence of the smoke itself. It calms me and gives me something to do with my hands.

The last cig I had prior to surgery was the night of 12-11. I was honest about this fact before I was wheeled into surgery. I lasted a week before I begged my boyfriend to get me a pack. It helps with my head hunger....so much. Smoking got me through Christmas.

I'm not sure how this is affecting my healing. It really does not seem to have an impact. Smoking also inspires me to walk because I won't smoke in the house so when it is time for a cig it is also time for a 20 minute walk.

I guess the best course of action would be to 'fess up to the dietician. It sure felt good letting it out here though. The guilt is messing with me more then anything else.

"Got enough guilt to start my own religion."