The most hostile environment is the one I create in my own head.
[color="Purple"]Well, hey do you do Judo when they surround you? A little mental yoga will they disappear? It's grim but never dubious as motives go. One thing she always promises is a show.
Thunder wishes it could be the snow wishes it could be as loved as she can be. These gifts are here for her, for you, for me.
I watch me be this other thing and never know if i'm marooned where the Purple People go. The lily white matricide from vicious words, it doesn't leave a scratch so therefore no ones hurt.
Thunder wishes it could be the snow wishes it could be as loved as she can be. These gifts are here for her, for you, for me.
And on and on the nurses make it clear, just when you escape you have yourself to fear. A resturant that never has to close. Breakfast every hour. It could save the world.
So, hey do you do Judo in your finery? An angels face is tricky to wear constantly.
Thunder wishes it could be the snow, wishes it could be as loved as she can be. These gifts are here for her, for you, for me.
for her....for her for her....."
I am now officially a Posse.
My friend, Tiffany started in the department the same day I did. We quickly became close. I'm listed on her myspace page as someone who she could tell anything to. And I do mean ANYTHING. I found this out over a few late night weekend conversations that stretched into hours.
Our friendship came as somewhat of a surprise to her. She's a "guys girl" and lacks female friends. It was no surprise to me. I saw her heart of gold shining through. This girl abhors gossip and puts a stop to any sign of gossip, real or imagined.
Tiff was my touchstone at work. The day she was let go was a day my world shattered. Other friends knew how this would affect me and rallied around, but nevertheless, I was plunged into darkness. She called me to tell me she was late and that it was her last chance. I waited for her to arrive, causing myself to also be late. Wondering if by chance we could think up some traffic situation. Tiff vetoed that. She wouldn't accept my late pass (which I later found out was non transferable anyway but I had to try) We had our last ciggarettes on the smoking patio. I teared up. I told her that I was going to lose her as a friend. That I detach easily. Out of sight, out of mind. She simply stated she would not let that happen. That she would stalk me if she had to. She has remained true to her word and I have remained true to our friendship and have not "detached" We had the following text conversation today:
Me: I'm back @ work. u wnt 2 wlk 60 miles in 3 days wit me in nov???
T: Uh not really I hate walking lol
me: I'm not taking you out to the desert. It's a planned walk. It's 2 cure breast cancer. How about you donate or show up to cheer me on.
T: 4 sure I'll be there. Maybe I will walk for breast cancer.
Me: YOU r the person I want walking by my side. Right now I'm a posse of ONE.
T: lol maybe I will go
Me: Well it IS a huge commitment. I didnt know what I was getting myself into. I have to raise a minimum of 2200.00 but miracles happen. Pay it forward. It's all about the boobies ya know.
**crickets**
*more crickets*
Me: C'mon Tiffy I'll pay half your registration fee.
T: How much is it?
Me: 90.00 C'mon babe we get to camp in PINK tents.
T: ha ha ha I'll do it.
Me: YOU WILL? I love you so much. It will be the experience of a lifetime. Thanks Tiff.
T: No problem.
And that's how the
PINK PEOPLE POSSE was formed. I don't think it's possible to be a Posse of one.
There is no one I would rather share a pink tent with and tomboy that she is, I'm sure she knows how to put one up. She may come back to work with us in April. I announced this to my other good friend, K. Those two clashed wildly because of the fierce competitive nature built into both of them. I was often the peacemaker. K agreed I was right, Tiff may annoy the hell out of her, but it's impossible to hate Tiff. She always has your back.
I wish she had been there today. I was surrounded by support. Random co workers missed me and commented they were glad to see me back. At lunch, I dropped off a "tea bouquet" to an old manager in my former department. She wasn't at her desk so I artfully displayed it for her. She and another close friend hunted me down and enveloped me in hugs. They noticed my 3 day walk info and one is considering walking with us, I immediatly sent her an email.
All my 'smoking patio' buddies gladly welcomed me back and didn't say a word when I lit up. The patio is my haven, Even if I never smoked a single ciggarette I would hang out there. It's a different mentality. Chell told me I was "glowing"
So
WHY?????? why with all this do I focus on the negative and listen to the whispers inside my head which I then hear outside my head and become convinced that THEY are talking about ME. I try to mutter the Tyra mantra. Who cares? who cares? who cares what they think...
SO NOT WORKING
It will be better tomorow. Some days are just like this and I know what days they are going to be before I open my eyes in the morning. Another day of wrestling the demons in my head.
Mike...Toony....thanks much for the good vibes. I know it helped. Want evidence.?.?
The first thing I put on when I got to work was Raspberry Swirl ambient mix
Keep em coming please. If I can just get through this week, I should be ok. K comes back Thursday.
Hey Hey Get Out Of The Garden...
Gobble-Gobble!
), but I have the whole show from 10-04-01--I'm putting it on my ipod now. If you'll PM your address, I could send a surprise...
Fortuanatly I didn't dump but I could have. Combined they have enough sugar. I eat the saltines reguarly. K tells me to stop eating empty calories
Linear Mode
