Persephone

I'm starting to realize I was almost completly unaware and unprepared of the changes this journey would bring me.

I did not expect to fall in love with myself. And that is indeed what is happening to me. It is beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

I had hated and despised myself for so long. I would never admit it or even acknowledge it, but I now know it was there.

Falling in love is BLISS.

But there is fallout. I cannot go back to the person that I was and the people closest to me have to adapt. Sometimes I just want to wipe the slate clean and start again and really get to know me

This is the tip of the iceberg. I'm having a difficult time navigating and avoiding the pitfalls. How selfish is selfish? Am I self destructing? Or is it something in me that really does need to be 100% completly free. Obviously there are alot of layers to unravel.

But to discover self love.....the entire long strange trip has been worth it.


There is a beautiful quote from the very last episode of Sex in the City that I am going to insert here. Carrie summed it up perfectly.

"The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."

__________________
Support the PINK PEOPLE POSSE on the three day, 60 Mile walk to END breast cancer

http://08.the3day.org/goto/pink_people_posse

TT PANDA BEAR
Sista of GWENNIE the POOH

Highest 265
Before surgery 255
Now 158

GOAL 135


Height 5'3'

Gym Rat #80

Scale Ho #9





"The soul-quake happened here in a glass world.....particle by particle she slowly changes...."

Josephine

I remember a few years ago when I lost 75 lbs, and I started to love myself... it's such a magical journey. You have a beautiful spirit and it would be impossible not to fall in love with it. You're doing great, and I'm so proud of you!

__________________
Lap Band 09/13/2004. Did not receive any proper aftercare.
Current status: Losing weight on my own, without restriction.
On surgeon's GBS waiting list - approximate wait 10 months - April or May 2009.

Start June 6, 2008: 334
Current: 320
Goal: 134



New scale does not agree with old scale. New scale hates me.

Official Scale Whore #18!
Gym Rat # 110!

Godsblessedme

okay now i'm worried but i see you did make it back from the river, but i'm beginning to believe you are the GIRL WHO DISAPPEARED! where are you girl

__________________
Deborah

Surgery Date: 12/18/07 Lap RNY
Onderland Reached 7/21/08 63 Pounds left to goal

Gym Rat #98 / Scale W #2
Goals Reached:
Starting to enjoy excersizing
32 minutes on the Eliptical (aka death machine) I did it!
My kids cant keep up with ME
Up to 6 miles on the stationary bike

Persephone

"And then, when it all seems clear, just then you go and....disappear....disappear. Sure you're out there orbiting around. I'm sure you're out there orbiting around....."

I'm here.

I just had to make some neccessary changes that I honestly never thought were possible.

but,

I AM FREE!!!!

You know those situations where you don't really realize that you were being controlled? Yeh....it was one of those. And yes, I broke free.

And I am happy. I am so delirously happy. I can't wipe the smile off my face.

Freedom always comes with a price and there is a lot more stuff I have to work out. But the friends who come out of nowhere to help simply amaze and humble me. I am grateful.

As for my weight loss. Still dropping. I'm in the mid 170's

Life is good.!.

Miss you all and thanks for all the support seen and unseen.

__________________
Support the PINK PEOPLE POSSE on the three day, 60 Mile walk to END breast cancer

http://08.the3day.org/goto/pink_people_posse

TT PANDA BEAR
Sista of GWENNIE the POOH

Highest 265
Before surgery 255
Now 158

GOAL 135


Height 5'3'

Gym Rat #80

Scale Ho #9





"The soul-quake happened here in a glass world.....particle by particle she slowly changes...."

Godsblessedme

God girl i was going to have to send an APB out on you! hows A taking it??

update your signature now so i see that # thats great Amanda i'm proud of you. So whats next for you and how did D take it? you can PM me if you want to love ya

__________________
Deborah

Surgery Date: 12/18/07 Lap RNY
Onderland Reached 7/21/08 63 Pounds left to goal

Gym Rat #98 / Scale W #2
Goals Reached:
Starting to enjoy excersizing
32 minutes on the Eliptical (aka death machine) I did it!
My kids cant keep up with ME
Up to 6 miles on the stationary bike

LyndasRoom

'manda...I'm hearing Freddie Mercury singing "I want to break free ee"...it's gonna be stuck in my head for a week!
You're doing so great! Congratulations girly!

__________________
Lynda
July 11,2006
Dr. Callery
309/198/150
Century 6/1/2007
Onederland 8/26/2007
LyndieBear

Josephine

Glad that you feel better now and can breathe
Listening to your song in tribute to dropping dead weight.

__________________
Lap Band 09/13/2004. Did not receive any proper aftercare.
Current status: Losing weight on my own, without restriction.
On surgeon's GBS waiting list - approximate wait 10 months - April or May 2009.

Start June 6, 2008: 334
Current: 320
Goal: 134



New scale does not agree with old scale. New scale hates me.

Official Scale Whore #18!
Gym Rat # 110!

Persephone

"King's Solomon's Mine....Exit 75....I'm still alive...I'm still alive...I'm still alive."

Just in case there was any doubt.

I have not been here in awhile. D took the laptop when he left, which was ok, it was his. He also took the car, which is NOT ok because it is NOT his. Yep long story and I have alot to work out.

and so needless to say, my online life is limited, which is ok.....I'm somewhat morphing into my sista bear Gwennie. Just Living Life to the fullest that it can be lived.

My grandpa did pass away. I'm debating on whether or not I can afford the trip to Utah. So much is going on.

I have some time to just really be ME right now. And that is a wonderful gift that I accept and am taking full advantage of.

There is so much more I want to say right now but ya know....after a breakup...you wanna be careful how much you put out there.

Just know that I am happy And Free.


And
"ain't that a good thang?"

Miss you guys.

__________________
Support the PINK PEOPLE POSSE on the three day, 60 Mile walk to END breast cancer

http://08.the3day.org/goto/pink_people_posse

TT PANDA BEAR
Sista of GWENNIE the POOH

Highest 265
Before surgery 255
Now 158

GOAL 135


Height 5'3'

Gym Rat #80

Scale Ho #9





"The soul-quake happened here in a glass world.....particle by particle she slowly changes...."

Godsblessedme

hey and update your weight sista!

sorry he took the laptop and i'm surprised he would take the car JERK! i miss you girly

__________________
Deborah

Surgery Date: 12/18/07 Lap RNY
Onderland Reached 7/21/08 63 Pounds left to goal

Gym Rat #98 / Scale W #2
Goals Reached:
Starting to enjoy excersizing
32 minutes on the Eliptical (aka death machine) I did it!
My kids cant keep up with ME
Up to 6 miles on the stationary bike

Persephone

ok I am literally laughing out loud. I'm not just saying I lol'd I was most likely updating my siggy while you were typing this.

I'm 175!!! And I feel great. My friend took my to Ross' the other day and threw a size 12 at me, she was convinced it would fit and OH MY GOSH...it did. Forget the Avenue Capris....

am so happy

__________________
Support the PINK PEOPLE POSSE on the three day, 60 Mile walk to END breast cancer

http://08.the3day.org/goto/pink_people_posse

TT PANDA BEAR
Sista of GWENNIE the POOH

Highest 265
Before surgery 255
Now 158

GOAL 135


Height 5'3'

Gym Rat #80

Scale Ho #9





"The soul-quake happened here in a glass world.....particle by particle she slowly changes...."