"Girl Disappearing" - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

anji · 12-27-2007, 08:15 AM

That's why we're here. We're all addicted to SOMEthing; cigarettes, food, shopping, sex, TV, etc. With me, it's alcohol. They wouldn't do the surgery if I was still drinking. So, I stopped for a while. Christmas eve, I had to have it for some reason. I go to meetings, I cry, but I'm still addicted. I'm not a sloppy, driving drinker. I'm an at-home drinker. But, I'm not supposed to drink for one year. What's it doing to me? I'm afraid to find out. So, with God's help and many prayers, every day is a new day. We'll do better today.

Persephone · 12-27-2007, 08:22 AM

Oh anji!

Thank you for being so honest. I was so afraid to even sip wine on Christmas. I simply did not want to deal with the sugar and possibly dump. So i smoked, and it helped.

My best friend is in your same boat. She won't even consider gbs b/c of it.

CeeCee · 12-27-2007, 08:22 AM

First, I want to say how wonderfully well you are doing! You've worked for it and you definitely deserve it!
=================
Now- step away from the cigarettes! You don't need them; get another hobby! Try knitting, origami, jewelry making, anything! As far as I know, none of these will give you cancer. Oh- and smoke in your mouth? Mouth cancer- my brother has a friend who lost part of his bottom jaw. I know it's hard, I smoked for years, quit 13 years ago for love.

I still want one every now and then, but I remember watching my father-in-law die of lung cancer 5 yrs ago, and lung cancer killed my Dad 2 months ago, so...
You've had such courage and strength so far. You have the motivation in a loving family. I am convinced that 2008 is your year!

Persephone · 12-27-2007, 08:30 AM

mouth cancer....

I don't even want to think about that. Cee Cee I'm sorry to hear you lost family members to cancer. That is awful.

**sigh** the whole point of undergoing surgery was to be a healthier me. It would be awful to destroy what I'm working so hard to do for myself.

ok last pack. i swear. i have to be a closet smoker b/c my kiddo was so proud of me for quitting and i can't break his heart.

Love conquers all. I can do this. For the love of myself and because I love Ashton.

and Anji you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

anji · 12-27-2007, 04:14 PM

Thank you---that's what I need.

Persephone · 12-28-2007, 06:06 AM

anytime girl.....you know, i already feel like we are in this together. Hang in there.

anji · 12-28-2007, 08:26 AM

Yep, me too. It helps to just be able to talk about it online.

Gonna go to Wally-world in a few minutes to get some cold weather gear for my kids who are going to Tennessee for a church-camp thing. They don't really need them that much here in Florida-- it's about 80 degrees today. Yuck. I do love cold weather.

I'm still not eating. I tried to eat pureed stuff-- it hurts too bad, so I've gone back to liquids. They (Liquids) are definetly not appealing to me, but I gotta get the protein in somehow.

What brand of vitamins is everyone using?

kittens4 · 12-29-2007, 06:52 AM

I hope you can give up the cigarettes. I used to smoke...I loved it...but quit back when I was 38 yrs old (a long time ago) using Wellbutrin, and have never even wanted one since. My Dad died from complications of smoking. That's what made me quit. I didn't want my quality of life to end up like that if I could help it. Here's the weird thing...my husbands Dad, who didn't smoke, also ended up passing away in July from lung cancer. So, sometimes no matter what you do, crap happens. None of us are getting out of this world alive...something is going to get us...so, I guess all we can do is hope for the best...and try to make good choices. (easier said than done)

Persephone · 12-30-2007, 08:40 AM

Anji,

I'm sorry to hear you are not doing well on puree. I have one week left on liquids and I cannot wait to eat an egg (with cheese) Getting protein in is very difficult for me as well. I found some protein water called Isopure at a health store. It has 40g of protein and I sip at it all day long. Grape seems to agree with me most but there are tons of other flavors. I'm taking childrens chewable vitamins and calcium suppliments. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not skimp on these. They are SO important.

Elaine,

Thank you for your encouragment! I've heard of Wellburtin and it has helped many of my co-workers quit this dirty habit. My pcp prescribed me celexa. He told me I smoked cuz I was so very stressed out (i agree with him) I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your family members. I believe that when it's your time it's your time. When it's not it's not. I've always insisted that I didnt want to live into my eighties anyway. But at this point why tempt fate or her cousin death? I want to live to see my grandkids!

Persephone · 12-30-2007, 09:30 AM

So on Thursday we ventured out to the mall. I figured that now I am almost pain free, it was time to buy some walking shoes and get this body moving. Slippers are good for shuffling around but it's time to step it up.

My sis-in-law and my beautiful 9 mo old nephew came to pick us up. Like most of his species, Ash was not looking forward to the shopping expedition. I bribed him with the promise he could spend his Target gift card if he behaved.

At foot locker I almost immediatly found a pair of sneakers that met my needs. I wore them out of the store. My feet were bitterly complaining. I'm an AZ girl so it's not uncommon for me to wear sandals 12 months out of the year. My toes are extremly clastrophobic! In fact, I had asked the exercise guru if I could walk in my birkenstocks. He quickly vetoed that idea.

With our main objective accomplished we headed to Kona Grill. I had some key lime pie yogurt at the ready but after studying the menu, I decided on clam chowder. I mourned the loss of my favorite drink on the planet, the Kona Mojito, and ordered ice tea. I ate around the clams and potatos and only ingested the chowder with absolutly no problems. I resisted Ash's macedamia chicken fingers and fries and J's crab rolls. I followed the 30 minute rule and dumped my ice tea into Ash's kiddo cup. J noted that I had accomplished a goal of ordering off the menu and eating at my favorite resturant.

We headed to Barnes & Noble and I picked up both WLS for Dummies and Before & After. I can't remember what thread or who recommended these books but THANK YOU. They are filled with good advice and yummy recipies.

J noticed that I was constantly tugging up my jeans. We went to Lane Bryant and she purchased me an early birthday present of two stylin' belts. With that problem solved, we gratfully exited the mall and headed to Target. My boy was a trooper and so he was allowed to spend his gift card on a new psp game. I purchased season 3 of The Office and the last season of Sex in the City (my girls! for only 9.99!!!) I then stocked up on the neccessary staples. In the soup aisle, I was mentally trying to calculate how many days I had left of the liquid stage and how many cans of potato soup I would need. Potato soup is my new BFF. I asked myself if today was Thursday and a gentleman behind me affirmed that it was and inquired as to whether I only bought soup on Thursday. I simply nodded. He stated it was a strange rule but he had heard of stanger things. J had been stating all day that I would be shrinking. The foot locker salesman knew this as well as all Lane Bryant shoppers within earshot. I simply choose not to explain.

We finally arrived home and my toes were released from thier prison. D decided to take some pics on his new digi camera. I tried to post them here however the res is too high and the pics too large. They are coming soon! I still contend I look huge but that will soon be changing.

"Give me life give me pain give me myself again......"