The Long Road... - Page 50 - ThinnerTimes

fisher1000 · 09-06-2008, 09:14 PM

Honesty Check ahead...mainly for me, but thought I'd share for those who think I'm "Perfect Pete!"

Things I'm doing right:
Exercising...even working with a trainer!
Getting the protein in EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Getting at least 64 ounces of fluids in, but really need more.
Feeling good.
Still losing weight.
Giving myself kudos for making my body work independent of the pouch.
Taming my personal social scene in regards to eating out/eating with others. (Not feeling obligated to eat crappy stuff just because they do!)
Enjoying life.

Things I'm doing wrong:
Grazing.
Snacking when I don't need anything.
OPening the refrigerator door 35 times a day.
Eating more than one serving of some things (like the sugar free ice cream...which isn't fat free...)
Eating crackers and spreadable cheese.
Eating during my 4:00 known trigger time.
Using low blood sugar as an excuse to go to Taco Bell. (But can't eat more than two things, thank goodness!)
I ate 5 fried shrimp the other night.
Not getting enough fluid consistently... should be closer to 100 ounces?
Eating too much popcorn. (It's low cal and fat free...but still)
Slipping back into these bad habits after swearing I wouldn't!

Solutions:
Limit popcorn to no more than twice a week.
Work to consume only a serving of something at a time.
Rearrange my fluid schedule and really try to get more in, esp. on gym days.
Go to the gym one more time a week.
Limit Taco Bell to once a month.
No fried foods.
No fridge opening or cabinet opening between 4:00 and 5:00 pm.

Even though I'm still losing weight...I just wanted it down in writing that there are things I'm doing well, and things I need to improve. I refuse to be the Mike I used to be, I have to maintain this gift I've been given and am slowly sliding off the wagon. I want this to be the last struggle I have with weight. I haven't minded working hard so far...I need to keep up the momentum. I am stronger than food. I am stronger than food. I am stronger than food.

*This was triggered by the ice cream I just ate. I ate a cup, when a serving is 1/2 cup. I also added FF whip cream on top. I don't know whether I should feel guilty or not. It was sugar free, and reduced fat, but I still felt a twinge of guilt. I cannot sabotage myself now...I've come to far...I can't go back.

I just had to get this out.

I deal in truth now.

-Mike

herewegofinally · 09-06-2008, 09:50 PM

Congrats on everything that you're happy with man! Good job!

I have a question... the comment you made about feeling guilty about the SF ice cream and FF whipped topping. While I agree 100% with you needing/wanting to at least stay within the serving size, shouldn't you be able to "treat" yourself to a half a cup of SF ice cream without ruining any enjoyment with guilt? This really isn't directed at you actually, this is something I've often thought about. I notice some people that constantly crucify themselves over every thing they consume and it seems like they either

A. End up binge eating because they never get any satisfaction out of the meals they do chose to have.

B. Never allow themselves to enjoy and be satisfied by the food they do intake.

I know a lot of people think that food isn't meant to be "enjoyed" and that is the problem with overwieght people in general. I have to disagree on a personal level. While I did eat more than I should've at my weight. I NEVER EVER was a food monster. My entire family had WLS and high body weight is a genetic "gift" that we all share. None of my family were binge eaters, none of them ate 3 big macs for lunch, etc...

I just find the idea that I'm not allowed to just purely enjoy a meal or a snack for that matter without having to feel guilty on some level, very scary.

I know that everyone is not me and that we all have our coping methods and Mike this rant was not pointed at you in anyway bud. I just read your post and it brough up the subject so I thought I'd plug in my fears/thoughts and see what you think about it.

PS. What's wrong with FF/SF whipped topping? That stuff has like nothing in it right? (I'm hoping I'll be able to use it someday lol)

fisher1000 · 09-06-2008, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by herewegofinally

I know that everyone is not me and that we all have our coping methods and Mike this rant was not pointed at you in anyway bud. I just read your post and it brough up the subject so I thought I'd plug in my fears/thoughts and see what you think about it.

It's not about the guilt, really, or the need or want to "treat" myself. I think it's about the excess. My brain, my stomach, and my heart still do not work in tandem with each other. I'm very aware, thoughtful, and analytical about my journey because I want to OWN my success. The pouch is my tool, but I am the agent.

I don't take what you said as a rant at all, or in any weird way...I like that you're thinking as deeply as I am about all of this. There is nothing inherently wrong with enjoying food, in fact, I would venture to say that eating after the surgery SHOULD be about eating the best, most flavorful things you can find! My problem is going the extra mile, so to speak, and eating beyond the limits that got me to obesity in the first place. This is less about the food really, than it is about the habits. I struggle to maintain good habits, but that is one of the keys to years long success with this surgery.

I still enjoy eating. I eat savory things. I just don't want to slip back into excessive traits. Food can still be fun, I'm just worried that my habits could indicate a regression that I know I don't want.

Your points are valid. I just want you to know that I'm analyzing my habits, not necessarily wallowing in depravity. (The almost empty jar of peanut butter is testament to that!)

-Mike

fisher1000 · 09-06-2008, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by herewegofinally

PS. What's wrong with FF/SF whipped topping? That stuff has like nothing in it right? (I'm hoping I'll be able to use it someday lol)

I forgot to comment on this.

Nothing's wrong with it, that's why I eat it! You can eat the whole tub for like 180 calories and 15 grams of sugar...not that I would, but it tastes just as good as the real stuff! Each serving is only like 15 calories and 1g of sugar.

-Mike

Hamburgler · 09-06-2008, 10:33 PM

Thanks, I like the list idea...plus thanks for sharing your imperfections as well.

Vim&Vigour · 09-07-2008, 04:33 AM

Mike
Your post is perfect - just perfect!
For me you have described what this whole journey is about!
Five Star Thread, and also Five Star Post!
Cheers,
Vim

SDeRossett · 09-07-2008, 05:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisher1000

Even though I'm still losing weight...I just wanted it down in writing that there are things I'm doing well, and things I need to improve. I refuse to be the Mike I used to be, I have to maintain this gift I've been given and am slowly sliding off the wagon. I want this to be the last struggle I have with weight. I haven't minded working hard so far...I need to keep up the momentum.-Mike

Mike:

I am so happy for you and you've done so well, AND you are so close to your goal now! Wow!

You sound as if you have a really good handle on things, so I wouldn't fret too much about "sliding off the wagon". From reading your posts, I see that you are a very strong willed individual and you will reach your goal and maintain.

I/we have faith in you! You are such a beacon of light, hope and inspiration! Keep up the good work and keep enjoying life to it's fullest. You deserve it!

Sharon

Claire-in-Texas · 09-07-2008, 05:13 AM

Mike, you always make me THINK, and I am so grateful for your friendship and your honesty.

I do have a suggestion about how I deal with the imperfections that you have listed.

I use the clock as a tool. If an hour and a half to two hours haven't passed, then that means I can't eat yet (drink, yes).

Also, I keep 100 calorie popcorn packets in the house (and will myself only to eat one). And I keep 100 calorie packets of snacks in the house, and not of the type that are my particular trigger foods.

In other words, I have found a way to snack honestly, guiltlessly, and appropriately.

I have reached the end of my losing weight cycle, but I am now maintaining utilizing those two ways of eating. Believe me when I tell you that I was, like you, the one opening the refrigerator door a zillion times. Now I look at the clock, and follow my rules.

Maybe it's the control freak in me, I don't know. But I thought I would share this with you in the hope that it might "trigger" a tool or two for you.

Hugs!

Corrine · 09-07-2008, 10:32 AM

Hi podmate! Almost a year for us - can you believe it!

I always enjoy your posts too - you seem to have the ability of putting into writing, things that I still haven't got my head around - and I thank you deeply for that.

I realised a long time ago that I was drawn to food either from habit or boredom or stress. Hunger rarely entered into the equation and inevitably, the "my teeth are bored" syndrome hit and I'd start looking in the fridge and cupboards.

The only way for me to break that was to view food as nothing more than fuel and to prepare my intake for the day beforehand - print it out and stick it to the fridge door.

That's not to say that I don't enjoy what I eat - I go to great lengths to make it visually appealing and tasty.

It maybe a drastic measure but breaking a 30+ year habit warranted it.

You'll achieve your ultimate goal my friend. You have a handle on what's going on.

herewegofinally · 09-07-2008, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisher1000

It's not about the guilt, really, or the need or want to "treat" myself. I think it's about the excess. My brain, my stomach, and my heart still do not work in tandem with each other. I'm very aware, thoughtful, and analytical about my journey because I want to OWN my success. The pouch is my tool, but I am the agent.

I don't take what you said as a rant at all, or in any weird way...I like that you're thinking as deeply as I am about all of this. There is nothing inherently wrong with enjoying food, in fact, I would venture to say that eating after the surgery SHOULD be about eating the best, most flavorful things you can find! My problem is going the extra mile, so to speak, and eating beyond the limits that got me to obesity in the first place. This is less about the food really, than it is about the habits. I struggle to maintain good habits, but that is one of the keys to years long success with this surgery.

I still enjoy eating. I eat savory things. I just don't want to slip back into excessive traits. Food can still be fun, I'm just worried that my habits could indicate a regression that I know I don't want.

Your points are valid. I just want you to know that I'm analyzing my habits, not necessarily wallowing in depravity. (The almost empty jar of peanut butter is testament to that!)

-Mike

Lol yeah last night when I was laying in bed I was thinking this exact same thing. I can probably do very well by myself to take some of your insight and apply it to my future eating habits. I just have to learn to find the happy medium.

thanks again for being a spoken word of the thoughts most of us wrestle with daily heh.

PS woohoo for FF whipped topping!