Carrie's Story - Page 73 - ThinnerTimes

chilmoe · 07-18-2007, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenBear7

AND.. you arent going to the gym right?

lol, yes sis, no gym, i promise, but i went for a little walk outside, is that okay?

love ya.

chilmoe · 07-18-2007, 09:23 PM

i hope i didnt miss anyone and if i did i appologize, and thank you now.

JenBear7 · 07-18-2007, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chilmoe

lol, yes sis, no gym, i promise, but i went for a little walk outside, is that okay?

love ya.

Me too.. but Im paying for it now.. argh.. Cant lay down.. but i gotta soon lol. I jiggle so when I walk, that it jars my left side.. and I really think my left side is pissed off at me.. See Doc in the morning tho... so he can tell me its normal

I'm almost a wimp enough to take more pain meds lol.. but I'm using you as my example... and just dealing with it.

chilmoe · 07-18-2007, 09:50 PM

its called breathing - deep breathing exercises, focus on something else, relax, then i am off and running...that is how i deal with it, but i have had years of experience with chronic pain and RA....you take your pain meds if you need them, you take care of you, or i will kick your butt! love ya

chilmoe · 07-19-2007, 10:35 PM

okay, where do i start

im not okay - this has taken its toll on me - i have not been around as i fear all i would have done is complained and by not facing whats going on has allowed me to continue being my busy active self - i have tried to handle this the best i can, but now reality has set in.

i am not as confident that i will do so well under the knife this time - and im not sure why....i have less health problems than when i was obese, or do i? maybe cuz its the unknown, not knowing exactly what is wrong - i am grateful that nohr has agreed to do something, i know i will awake without my gallbladder, but the not knowing what else i make wake up with or without scares me now (i even fear i wont come out of this one, that wasnt a fear before)....i am in a much weaker state than before GBS, maybe thats why i feel i wont be driving myself home this time, i have made arrangements as i am not sure - i was determined months before my GBS i would drive myself home, i would be well cuz i knew i would make it through fine and i did........so why the doubt now? i know the 13th is not far away, but each day that passes, the worse i feel, the more i struggle, the more my weight plumets........scared i tell ya, scared!

Duckie · 07-19-2007, 11:48 PM

Oh honey. You have every right to be scared. You've been to hell and back. You will be okay. He's gonna figure things out and send you home healthy! Okay, maybe not exactly healthy but on the road to recovery. Hang in there honey. Don't be afraid to come here and complain or whine. You have every right. I wub you honey! {{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}
p.s.: did ya get my text message with my new cell #?

LisaM · 07-20-2007, 12:37 AM

Good Lord, Carrie, if you need to vent, honey, vent. I understand the impulse to not lay out all your pain--but there is no place safer, no place where you will get less flak and more support. If you need us, honey, just ask... it actually makes us feel better when we at least know what's going on in your head...we all think so much of you.

chilmoe · 07-20-2007, 06:42 AM

thank you both

DAISY · 07-20-2007, 09:06 AM

Carrie if you need anything at all you call me. I am only 20 minutes away. I have a job that I can up and leave. They are really good that way if I have a family member or friend that needs my help. I am here if you need me. Don't hesitate to call me.

paige52 · 07-20-2007, 11:03 AM

Unlike yourself CArrie... I vent on a regular basis... loudly with cussing! I have to say it makes me feel better for sure.

You have been very stoic through all of this... I worry about you. People are different and what works for some doesn't for others, venting works for me and it might not for you but try it.

Stop being so brave..... crying is a perfectly acceptable reaction to the crappy hand you have been dealt physically. You are suffering and they dont' give out awards to people for doing it silently. It's been my experience that people simply think it's not all that bad, since you aren't laying your wounds out in the open.

The fear... I'm right there with you ma'am... I've been offered the opportunity to fly to NY and have my surgery reversed by next monday. My head keeps going to that place of .....What if I make it worse, what if I get a leak this time and die....who's going to take care of my kids, who's going to comfort my husband..... what if they get inside and find they can't fix anything and I'm just screwed and like this forever?

I've been talking on another board that's focused on revision/reversals and I'd say 95% of them are happy wiht their choice and their complication have be taken care of... A few died but all of those had other issues... one had no small bowel left, that's what killed her not the reversal. The reversal gave her an extra 1.5 years ont hsi earth. But the reality is that it could happen, it's a viable fear....try not ti let it comsume you! you have to go forward becasuestaying where you are isn't really an option... you will die for sure if you do! No body can take the stress and lackof nutrition that you have been going throug.

I wonder why they don't give you TPN to beef you up before surgery? My doc said TPN for me 3 weeks prior to surgery so I can give blood just in case.

Carrie I wish I coudl answer your questions but honestly it's a tough road you are walking...we are walking and it's wonderful that you have so many peole on this board to support you...Like Jen.

lean on your friends...... take it one hour at a time if you have to.... sip sip sip... I'llkeep you in my prayers