bridgetgirl

Now its about what is the meaning of my life. What purpose am I meant to serve? What good can I bring to my present, my future? What is my destiny? I want desperately to leave behind a legacy, where do I start, what is it exactly?

None of these answers has anything to do with vanity, only self worth. Now that I am able bodied, and have a bright future, where do I go from here? Restless.


"The only necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do...

This is my positive message I read to myself everyday. I even have a small plaque that I put up in my elected work station, wherever that is at work. I get asked all the time, if I am truly happy all the time, and the answer is yes. Yes I am. I think to myself, no bad days. Dont let the worst of someone bring out the bad in me, no way I ever want to give anyone that much control over me. Dont get me wrong, I have my days every now and agin where I am faced with a sutuation where I want to make someone...

Pre WLS I never knew I was a control freak. The thing I was able to control was what I was shoveling in my pie hole! Uncontrollable things that have simple answers that for some reasons I cannot get the answers that I am content with; not knowing what to do with myself, how to deal, where to turn, feeling like a constant failure, who I can trust, who I cant, who is worthy of my time, not saying no enough. The a$$holes that say this is the easy way out need to get hit in the head really hard. What...

I am so upset with some things in my life right now.
I attended monthly support group (as usual) and then the Dr's staff breaks everyone up into groups by preop, postop and spouses. So there I sit with 10 other people, half less than 2 years out, and the other half minus two including myself who have gained some the weight back.
I asked if any of them were emotionally down? If they had a hard time struggling emotionally, and didnt know how to cope? Well obviously they cant relate...

Moving across the country to the east coast brought more stress than I realized. My initial fear was snow, but now it's many different things. Enviromentally pollen, dust and molds everywhere. Being thin I notice I am more sensitive to seasonal allergy symptoms, when I was heavy I didnt notice any allergies.

The culture is different, being in San Diego with all the beautiful people, then moving to a small rural borrough in the bible belt is a shocker. Its all about grits, gravy and...