Axel

WOW...one more day and I feel so scared! I honestly thought I was going to be the fat girl for the rest of my life and I still have doubts that this surgery will work. I mean, what happens if I just lose 25 lbs and that's it? I don't think I could handle that.

I really do want this surgery, but it feels like I might be giving away a part of myself that I want to keep. How am I going to handle being a normal weight? I can hardly handle it when a few guys hit on me now, but soon I'm...

I'm seeing my therapist today and...I don't know. I'm scared maybe? This will be my last weekend as a fat girl.

I'm kind of worried that during the whole session that we'll just talk about food, what I'm going to eat and that type of jazz, even though I really don't want to.

I'm getting a little scared because I feel like I won't make it through the procedure, even though my surgeon has reassured me that everything will be fine and dandy. I guess it's also because...

So, I had my EGD today and it was awful! Like the waiting and signing in was fast and easy, but the whole procedure was hell!

First, they couldn't find a vain to put in an IV,for thirty minutes! They kept poking me and I was crying so badly. I thought that was the worst part because I've heard that they knock you out when they put that long tube down your throat. No way!!!

So they get me to a small room and put some sort of anesthesia to calm me down because I was overreacting...