BSCI Newsletter-WILLPOWER - ThinnerTimes

Suzanne-photog4fun · 09-27-2005, 07:16 AM

eNewsletter September 23, 2005

In This Issue:

Where Does Will-Power Come From . . . and Can I Have Some More Please? - by Ken Miller

Where Does Will-Power Come From . . . and Can I Have Some More Please?

by Ken Miller, President, Bariatric Support Centers International

There isn't a human being over the age of ten who hasn't said to themselves, at some point in their life, “I wish I had more will-power. I just don't have enough will-power to do what I know I should be doing (or stop doing something I know I shouldn't be doing).” Lately, as I've been designing the online version of our Back On Track Lessons, I've been asking myself, “Where does this thing we call will-power come from, and how can I get some more.”

Lots of questions about will-power have crossed my mind:

<LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">Was I born with a limited supply of will-power that will run out if I'm not careful, or can my supply be replenished as I go along? <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">If my supply can be restocked, who do I see about getting a refill; and can I schedule a delivery truck to come by on a regular basis so I'm never in danger of running out? <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">If I can only store a limited supply of will-power, like gasoline in my car, how can I get the best mileage out of my limited supply? <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">Are there ways to use my will-power that are more efficient than the way I've always used it in the past? <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">Does will-power work like my muscles? Do I have to “use it - or lose it”?
If I exercise my will-power, will it become stronger tomorrow than it is today?

Having spent quite a while pondering these and many more questions, and after 50+ years experience watching my own and others' efforts to solve problems using will-power, I've come to the following conclusion.

We all have a limited supply of will-power and most of us don't know how to replenish it. The good news is that we don't have to sit and wait for some magical will-power supply truck to come by and refill our tank in the middle of the night while we're sleeping, we can schedule refills as often as we want.

Who do I see about getting a refill? At first glance, it may seem impossible, but I've discovered that I'm the ONLY person who can refill my will-power tank. That's right, I have the ability to manufacture will-power on-demand. I can only produce a small amount of it at a moment's notice, but I can keep production going all day and night if I pay attention and keep my processing plant in tip top shape.

You may ask, “If I can make my own will-power, then why do I run out of will-power so often?

The best way I can illustrate the will-power manufacturing and consumption process is to compare it to your local water supply. You know the big water tanks sitting high on the hill above your town? (If you live someplace where the land is flat you probably have a big tank mounted on top of a steel structure so the tank is high up in the air). Ever wonder why those tanks are mounted up high like they are? They're mounted up high so lots of water can flow out of them very quickly using gravity to move the water through the pipes leading to all the houses.

How does the water get up there so it's available to run out of the tank when you turn on your tap? It's pumped up there by pumps that move it through pipes leading from a water source like an underground well or reservoir. You may ask, “Why spend all the money to build a tank and mount it up so high? Why not just pump it directly to your house and skip the tank altogether?” Answer: Because it's easier and less expensive to use a tank.

What happens every day to the water level in your city's supply tanks? Every morning, in homes all across your city, people get out of bed and head to the bathroom. They're all flushing toilets and taking showers and washing dishes or clothes during the first couple of hours after they wake up. During those first two or three hours the water level in the supply tanks falls way down. Then all those people go off to school and work. When they return home in the evening, they start opening those taps again and there's a big demand for water again until bed time. If your city tried to install enough pumping capacity to move all the water that you and your neighbors need during those peak times during the day it would cost a fortune to deliver that much water during those peak times. During the rest of the day, those big expensive pumps would just be sitting there not doing anything because they weren't needed during the off-peak hours. Long ago, civil engineers learned that it's much more efficient to use smaller pumps and keep them running all day and all night to fill a supply tank, then let gravity keep all the pipes in town filled during the time when all the people demand lots of water at the same time. A small flow into the tank all day long . . . balances a large flow out of the tank once or twice per day.

So, what does all of this have to do with will-power? Your need for will-power changes throughout the day, just like your need for water does. What if your water engineer decided he didn't feel like keeping the supply pumps running all the time so he went on vacation and said to himself, “People will just have to schedule their use of water so our small supply pumps can keep up with the demand because I'm tired of filling up that big tank all the time”? You'd be out of water at the very times when you needed it most. . . . Just like you've been known to run out of will-power during high stress times when you need it most.

But remember, YOU are your own will-power engineer. You can choose to keep your tank full so you always have a ready supply of will-power for emergencies, or you can choose to ignore your supply lines and then wonder why your tank is empty at the very moment when you need a flood of will-power to keep you on track and making progress.

So, where is this reservoir of will-power that I can tap into? I want to pump my supply tank full so I'll be ready next time. Who's in charge of it and why hasn't anyone told me how to access it?

Like the underground reservoir from which water is drawn, your supply of will-power comes from a hidden place that's located deep down inside you. Your will power flows from your values. If you don't have a deep reservoir of values, you won't be able to develop a well of will-power.

You may have noticed that having an underground reservoir of water is of no use to anyone unless you can move it to a place where it can be accessed quickly when you need it. Likewise, having a set of values hidden away does you (and the world) no good either, unless you have a well maintained system in place to collect your will-power and deliver it to the right spot at the exact time when it's required. Water systems have pumps and pipelines . . . will-power systems have goals. Water systems have to be designed and constructed and then they must be constantly maintained. Your goals must also be designed and constructed; and they too must be maintained on a regular basis.

The power to achieve your goals is as important to your mental and emotional health as water is to your body's physical health.

<LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">The power to make lasting lifestyle changes grows out of your system of clearly identified goals. If you don't have life-directing goals (that are much more important than your weight-loss goals) it will be difficult to achieve your desired weight-loss, and MUCH more difficult to maintain your goal weight throughout your life. <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">The days ahead will come - one at a time. The years will pass - whether you choose to strive for greater goals or allow yourself to be battered about by every wind of circumstance that blows your way. Your quality of life, as those years pass, will be determined by the strength of your goals. <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">If you don't know where you want to go AND have a plan for how you're going to get there, then any comfortable path will appear to be the right way.
Carefully chosen paths lead to success. Random paths lead to confusion, stagnation, and feelings of hopelessness.

But, aren't goals something you set and then you “work toward them”? How can you gain power from something that isn't really here right now? After all, aren't my goals just sitting “out there” waiting for me to reach them? NO, true goals don't just sit “out there” waiting to be reached. True goals are constantly in use, leading us to a well defined reward.

Like a distant mountain peak that serves as a standard by which you can measure your progress toward (or away) from it, your vision of that future reward guides your course as you take each step forward. The biggest payoff that comes from your vision of an eventual reward is not the actual reward itself; the biggest reward is becoming the better person you have become as a result of your journey. People who understand the power of goals know that the real power comes from the goal's ability to guide your journey, not from the reward you receive when your time has passed and your journey ends.

Some years ago I participated as an actor in three stage plays. As the cast prepared for the presentation of each play, we worked 3-4 hours per night, 3-4 days per week rehearsing our entrances, exits, and lines so we could provide an enjoyable experience for our audience. The playhouse that sponsored us presented each play twice a week for about six weeks, so we were able to experience the joy of performing each play about 12 times. Now, as I look back on those experiences and reminisce about the greatest value I received from them, I've come to the conclusion that the greatest value to me wasn't in the actual presentation of each play. The deepest impact on me came through the experiences I had along the way BEFORE we actually presented each play to an audience. The actual presentation of the play to an audience was fun, but the growth I experienced which I treasure most, came to me on a day-to-day basis throughout the entire journey.

It's nice to sit atop the mountain peak and feel satisfied that you were able to reach the top, but the deepest sense of accomplishment comes step-by-step throughout the climb. Each boulder you climb over gives you added knowledge and experience that you can use when you come to the next one that must be overcome. And so it is with will-power. Will-power DOES grow . . . just like muscles grow. “Use it - or lose it” applies just as much to mental/emotional resolve as it does to physical strength. Exercise what little will-power you have and it will become stronger. Even if you're not strong enough to climb over the obstacle this time, you'll be stronger next time because you tried this time. The only way will-power can be weakened is by failing to use it. If you couldn't climb over the obstacle last time and you refuse to try again, you'll lose the additional strength you gained from climbing as far as you could last time.

Is there a more efficient way to use the will-power I do have so I can keep my tank as full as possible?
Yes, but that's the subject of my article in the next BSCI eNewsletter, so stay tuned . . .

How do you keep the supply of will-power flowing into your storage tank so you never run out?

<LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">First: Take time out to examine your values. What's most important to you? Write down a list of value statements and prioritize them so you have a clear picture of what drives the decisions you make each day. Are your daily decisions in line with your values? If not, you're drifting and you won't be able to stop drifting until you anchor yourself to a well defined set of values. <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">Second: Write down your long-term goals. These are goals that are more important than your weight-loss goals. You have to DESIGN your supply system before you can build it. <LI style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 10px">Third: Develop a PLAN, made of short-term goals, that will lead to the accomplishment of your long-term goals and your ultimate reward. You have to construct the pipeline system before will-power will flow through it.
Fourth: Review your goals every chance you get. Regular review of your goals maintains the system and creates the flow of will-power out of your values and into your emotional reservoir where it's available to be delivered quickly and in massive quantities at the exact moment when you really need it. Schedule a regular time to review your goals. Just re-reading your goal list will immediately increase the flow of will-power into your tank. Post your list where you'll see it every day. (That's why we created the Weight-Loss Progress Chart; so you can post yours in plain sight where it will inspire you and help refill your will-power tank every day).

The BSCI Back on Track seminars that we teach in our support center, and that are available for self-study through the Back on Track Program Booklets are designed to emphasize the importance of setting goals BEFORE you make another serious attempt to change your lifestyle and habits. Here's what we know, from years of experience watching successful people:

The power to change your lifestyle comes from your values, through your goals, and eventually finds a home in your habits.

When your new lifestyle becomes a habit, you won't need much will-power to stay on track for the rest of your life.</STRONG>

Please share your thoughts about will-power by clicking here: Where Does Will-Power Come From?

katlover66 · 09-27-2005, 07:31 AM

Thanks Suzanne for posting this. How are you doing? You have been silent for a long time.

Julez · 09-27-2005, 08:11 AM

Thanks for posting this.I will print it out & read it after work

Suzanne-photog4fun · 09-19-2007, 06:20 AM

I'm trying to get remotivated to get "back on track" with eating healthier & exercising more. It's just so hard (although nothing compared to pre-bypass struggles). Re-reading the post on "will power" helps.