Have you ever... - ThinnerTimes

MBatten · 04-26-2008, 11:18 AM

gone up to a stranger who you know would benefit from surgery and told them your story?

I know I've seen people mention the desire to do it on several threads, but I wondered if anyone ever had actually done it.

I work for a large company and we have company shuttles that will take us from building to building, and there is a fixed shuttle that takes us to the bus station. I commute on the bus, and the shuttle driver on my fixed route is very MO. I often get on the shuttle first, and am alone with him for a few minutes, and I feel so much for this guy. He cannot fit in the seat, has a seat belt extender, and it looks to me like he has some trouble breathing. I admire him for having a job, because he looks like he is on the cusp of qualifying for disability.

Long story short, I feel for this guy. I want to tell him about the surgery and how it changed my life, but of course I haven't, because I know how hard it is to face life when you are MO. It occurred to me though, maybe if I did say something, it would take him that direction, or if he is thinking in that direction, might reinforce.

I don't know, and I just thought I'd ask if anyone ever has talked to a stranger about it, and what went down.

I doubt I'll say anything in the end, as I'm not a terribly aggressive person, but I'm still curious to see if others have.

thanks!

Chia · 04-26-2008, 12:35 PM

I haven't felt that way, at least not yet. However, I have been on the other end of that conversation and I was EXTREMELY offended by a random person coming up to me and suggesting that I look into it (a month after I had had it done). I wasn't offended at the idea of the surgery as obviously I had it done. I was offended that a person who did not no me or anything about my life felt that they could come up to me and comment on my weight and how I "should do something about it." I did research on the surgery for 5 years before I had it and I am still at a BMI where today I would be a candidate for surgery, but I just don't feel anyone has the right to make an unsolicited comment about something so personal.

While I understand your feeling to share with this person, I doubt that he is unaware of his obesity. There are stories about WLS in the media (both positive and negative) to the point where I doubt this person hasn't heard of it The other thing is, you don't know his personal situation- maybe he doesn't have insurance (many low-wage jobs don't), or maybe it is not covered by his insurance. I dunno, it's just my two cents, but I wouldn't bring it up unless it comes up in conversation.

katzz87 · 04-26-2008, 01:35 PM

I personally would have been offended if someone came up to me basically told me "Your obese", I already know that!

But if someone was talking about THEIR journey with WLS I was always asking questions about their experience!

So I guess what I'm saying is...if you want to tell her YOUR story and he has interest...good...if not...drop it.

Daphne's Mom · 04-26-2008, 01:38 PM

I've only ever told my story to MO people who make a remark about how lucky I am to be "naturally thin."

MBatten · 04-26-2008, 02:32 PM

Oh, I want to clarify. I did not mean that I wanted to go tell him he was obese, needed surgery, etc. That would be terrible, and was not what I was thinking at all. I don't think I'll say anything, but I felt a strong desire to share my experience with him, in hopes of giving him hope, or ... I don't know. But it was well intentioned and a desire to share with someone that there is a better life, and we all deserve to have that life.

I guess it's just too touchy a subject and my gut tells me that no matter how well intentioned I may be, it would come to no good.

Still, I am curious if anyone has told their story to a stranger. I don't usually feel this desire, and am surprised by it.

Chia · 04-26-2008, 02:47 PM

I didn't think you meant it in a bad way, I wanted only to express that sometimes the message gets lost in translation and this particular issue is especially touchy for some people. You seem like quite a caring person. *Hugs*

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