chiquita

I find my self extremely depressed. Today I had my 3 months post op and it went ok, all is ok, blood work is ok, weight loss is good, keep it up, keep going, etc, etc. If I could of kissed the doctor I would off to see if it cheered me up for a minute, but offcourse that might of landed me on my but on the street in a flash, or he might of liked it who knows.

I feel has nothing to do with this surgery or it's progress, I sort of feel I am on cruise control on this area. Is the marriage area I can't seem to be able to handle anymore, I feel like jumping off a bridge, and I don't say that lightly or jokingly, If my kids did not depend on me, if no one did, I would not hessitate to just end it. I feel like I have a choice to make, and I only have two too choose from, divorce, or jump, and both of them are quite depressing.

There is a lot that leads to this, and honestly I don't feel like going into it right now as is much depressing and can't handle any more of it, just cry all the time, and no it's not pms, and no it's not hormonal, is me thinking things the way they are and it just sucks!

Now I am heading off to bed cause I don't want to feel.

__________________
Height 5'2"

Most 400-Goal 130
11-07-07 / 1st doc Visit 385
1-07-08 / Pre-op 370
1-14-08 /1 week follow up 367
1-29-08 / 3 weeks post-op 350 Yeeehaaaa!!!
3-31-08 / 3 months post-op 315
5-05-08 / 18 weeks post-op 293
(107 lbs Gone!-77 Since Surgery)
Lap RNY Date January 8th-08

TT Gym rat club member #77
Century Club 4-27-08
Twinderland 4-27-08 (nope not refering to my chest )

splendifor

I just wanted to acknowledge what you said. My dp and I separated (with no intention of getting back together) after 10 years and it by far was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I will be thinking of you. Sleep was a friend.. let "moderation" worry about itself at this point.. just take good care of yourself.

__________________
Jacki
Lap RNY 4/23/08
highest: 312 current: 252 goal: 115


"A little soda violence goes a long way, baby." ~ Mike
Honestly sometimes I believe people should be on disability for being ignorant! ~Deborah

fisher1000

Please call another doctor--someone trained to deal with depression.

Those are NOT your only two choices--you have the choice to be happy in your life too. It's not just about your kids depending on you--you have a responsibility to keep them from hurt or pain, besides whatever else you do as a mother.

It is a VERY good idea to come on here and vent and try to get some of it out. Anything like this is a release for the soul. So until you can get to the doctor--come on here and WRITE, WRITE, WRITE! Get it out--we're here to listen and help.

You are a vital part of this community and we need you.

Please seek out a counselor and soon.

-Mike

__________________
FISHERBEAR MIKE
402/249/under 200 (As of 05/10/08)
Highest/Current/Goal
Open RNY - September 24th
153 pounds GONE, BABY, GONE!

BMI: 63 (was) / 38.8 (is)

bridgetgirl

Mike is absolutely right on! You have the power of CHOICE, and its an absolutely amazing tool that people dont utilize enough. You have two choices right now, do you want to stay married or not? Do you love your partner or not?

By jumping off a bridge, all your gonna be is a hairy ol mess! I understand your venting, and many people have felt the same way you do. Like you have nothing left to give. But you do, you have the choice to give back to yourself! What do YOU want? What can YOU do?

Best wishes to ya darling, I hope the morning is better for ya. Oh yeah, your hormones are still a little screwy at this point, feeling overwhelmed right now is normal. Hang in there toots!

__________________
J.Bridget Fisher
2/9/04 lap 5'11"
298/155

www.myspace.com/caliclovercutie
We must have a theme, a goal, a purpose in our lives. If you don't know where you're aiming, you don't have a goal. My goal is to live my life in such a way that when I die, someone can say, she cared." - MaryKay Ash

LyndasRoom

Hon, your whole system is outta whack right now...Please be kind to yourself and find a professional who deals with depression. I know you may not even feel like using the energy to do that right now, but it is imperative. You do NOT need to feel this way, and you need PROFESSIONAL help. ((HUGS))

__________________
Lynda
July 11,2006
Dr. Callery
309/198/150
Century 6/1/2007
Onederland 8/26/2007
LyndieBear

BillH

Hopefully, there's a different perspective for you after some sleep, Chiquita.
But the people suggesting professional assistance are not trying to keep you from venting here, they / we, just want what's best for you.

Que Dios La Bendiga, Chiquita!

__________________
GymRat #91
"Wow! I'm standing on the edge of tomorrow and the view is incredible!"

THE WILD RIDE HAS BEGUN.

check out www.firstcongdg.org
It's my life!

largest known wt: 379
surgical weight, 4/16/08: 298
current wt, 4/28/08: 285
goal weight for hip replacement: 200lbs
ultimate goal: 160lbs

Dawn Crippen

Hi, I am sorry to read your thread, why because I know what you are going thru. After my surgery I thought I could not live that this, nothing seemed important to me. I cried everyday, several times a day and thought death would be the only way out. But my daughter found this web site and these wonderful people talked to me and held my hand thru the first weeks and here I am, no more depression. Talk to us, talk to a phsyic, life is worth living, with the surgery your emotions have gone hiwire, but it wont last. With the surgery you have a whole NEW life to look forward to.

Dawn 6 weeks 6 days post op

Nyn

(((hugs))) Just letting you know that someone else is out here listening/reading your words. I hope you find someone in real life to talk to -- therapist, pastor, neighbor, other family member -- and keep posting and reading on here. Best wishes for you, hon.

__________________
Nyn
Lap RNY surgery date: 9/24/2007
Height: 5'8"
338/303/196 (as of 5/11/08)
most/@ surgery/current
New Dr. Goal: 160
BMI: 51.4/29.8 = Just overweight now!

142 pounds gone!
Century Club reached 12/29/07!
Doctor's 1st goal reached 4/9/08!
ONEderland reached 5/5/08!
No longer obese as of 5/11/08!

Godsblessedme

big hug to you. i know where your coming from my husband left me last month BUT i really couldnt be happier now. there is peace in my house without worry of who i will piss off. If you are that depressed dont walk RUN to the nearest doctor who can help you with these things. And remember that your hormones are still crazy

__________________

Deborah (before sugery)

PreOp/Current/Goal
268 /212 (5/12/08) /130

Surgery Date: 12/18/07 Lap RNY

Gym Rat #98

nextbigloser

I pm'd you and am here for you if you need to talk to someone.

__________________
Kim
AKA CelebrityBear
Height 5' 8"
286/216/140
Highest/Current/Goal

Approval: Nov. 16th 2007
Surgery: Jan. 07th 2008
TT Gym Rat #85


"You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same."



http://nextbigloser.blogspot.com/