Who would've known that there was something out there that really worked? That really kept the weight off? Finally!
The past 4 years have been enlightening, wonderful, disappointing, tragic, revealing and surreal. I firmly believe that without the lifestyle changes that came with having weightloss surgery, I would not be who I am today.
Complications:
Post op pancreatitis-ouch! Sometimes you get those hypoglycemic attacks, I take it as an indicator that I havent been planning my meals or eating as well as I should be. Dumping, after 15 grams of sugar. Depression, yeah it happened as awful as I felt-it changed my life forever after I get the help I needed.
Less:
Weight:
I have 160 less pounds that I have kept off. At one time, approximately 2 years post op I gained 15 pounds. I realized it was because I was cosuming many of my calories during the day through beverages at my sit down job. I was drinking regular Rockstars and Lattes. The solution, switch to low cal favorites. I dont believe in going without, I believe everything in moderation and now this includes sugar. I LOVE diet rockstar and sugar free vanilla latte with non fat milk and an espresso add shot! Ahhhh love em
When I have them. I find now that I dont have a sit at the desk all day job, I dont need one of these drinks at hand. when Im running around all day the drink gets warm and the coffee goes cold and I dont want my drinks like that. So I dont nurse drinks anymore. I turned to celery. Celery is free food. It takes more more calories to eat and digest it that is in the food. So I ate cottage cheese with it, I used it as a spoon. If I had a sweet tooth I put peanut butter on it, if I had the munchies I put cream cheese on it. I would dress up cottage cheese with strawberry jam for "dessert" or put Franks Red Hot Sauce on it for a buffalo wing taste. Sounds nasty, but then again, nothing tastes better than thin feels and I lost those pounds.
Sense of self:
I wasnt a food addict, or an emotional eater or a social eater.. what I found is that I was co-dependant. Before WLS I manipulated food to feel better. After WLS it was people, I felt if I was making people happy than I was happy. Thats why I was having so many freaking parties and gatherings, putting something together for people to enjoy, brought me joy, doing things to make people happy, brought me happiness... if I didnt have the people, I didnt have happiness or joy. I was always trying to control my emotions. Its a very interesting diagnosis, I am co-dependant and living with it every day. Like any other disease I take things one day at a time. Being codependant isnt at all what people think it is, your not dependant on people per se, but its all about feelings and emotions. I suggest people read up on it, its amazing. Now that Im aware of it, I see the cycle in my family through my mom's side of the family. Now I know why I am overwhelmed by choices, like picking salad dressing and cereal.. because people always made choices for me. Luckily though, I raised my boys differently, I just didnt know until now that I was breaking the cycle of codependence. Now I have a beautiful, serene life.
Psychiatry:
Everyone shold see a therapist for the first 2 1/2 years after WLS. If I was Queen of the land I would make it law!
So much changes physically, psycholigically and socially. Sometimes its more than we, our friends or family can handle. We are so good at fixing everyones problems, we fall short when it comes to ourselves much of the time. Even if seeing a therapist winds up being a quarterly event, I highly recommend it.
Friends; I lost the "best" ones and found better ones. I had hundreds of friends, and now I just have a bunch of really great friends. Simplifying my friendships took alot of stress out of my life. I suspected I would lose friends, just as the WLS pioneers before me had indicated. Change is hard for everyone, as I changed (its impossible not to) I lost friends and I dont miss a single one of them.
Excuses:
I use to make them for the people in my life, I made excuses for their negative behavior and justify it. I had friends who were mean to other people, but thought it was okay because they werent mean to me. I had family that were jack asses, but still subjected myself to their negativity because they were family. Well I stopped that. It came to light that people who are that way to people in front of you, arent exactly saying appropriate things about you either. Its just behind your back. The family I would force myself to be with on holidays that were rude, negative and non-christian like in their behavior I stopped being around. Why? Because I have a choice. Something I wasnt aware of until recently.
Gained:
The power of choice. I always accepted things no matter how uncomfortable because I thought I had to. I thought I had to because they were family, I thought I had to because I knew that person for 10 years.
But by embracing choice, you lose drama. I had a warped sense of perception. Example: my sister didnt worship the ground my father walked on, she didnt think he was the best thing since sliced bread, she just chose to have a different relationship with him than I did. Now being in PA, I made the choice to visit him, he has done so many nice things for me. It was all very unexpected. But because I chose not to call, not to stay in touch much before I came here, my relationship was different.
My body is a temple:
I didnt have much respect for myself when I was heavy. I thought I did, but when I was overweight I was alot more tolerant, forgiving and patient. As a result of that I never got the boy, had friends that were jerks and employers that didnt appreciate me. I found my voice. I eat, for the most part, foods that are nutritionally sound a good for me. Food is fuel, not fun. I dont eat crappy cold fries anymore either, now they have to be pipping hot and I will send them back until they are. Fat me wouldnt have cared, as I ate many a cold french fry in my time.
Insight:
If people dont want to like you, they arent gonna, no matter what you do to please them. I found that being heavy no one is threated by you, as a thin person sometimes your enemy number 1 to strangers. I keep my head up, and unashamed of who I am. Im just a squirrel trying to get a nut like everyone else.
Hoarding:
If I dont use it or wear it in 6 months, its out of my life. If I find my self accumulating 10 pairs of jeans or black pants, I give 5 away. I will not hoard anymore, I have learned to LET GO.... man it feels great!
Plastics:
I had my reconstructive surgery 9 months after my weightloss surgery, and I dont regret it. I stopped with tummy and thighs and decided not ti pursue arms and breasts because, Im a 35 year old divorced mom of two. I do not want to be a super model, I just want to look decent in a swimsuit. With Victorias Secret on my team, my boobs look amazing in any top and swim suit. I dont have body issues anymore, that went away with accepting myself. Its liberating!
I wouldnt change a thing. I can say that WLS isnt for everybody. I cringe when people talk constantly aout their appearance or fearing loose skin before they even have the surgery, people who have that thought about what its going to be like to lose 100 pounds but have sagging skin shouldnt have WLS surgery at all. People who want it out of vanity really upset me. Those people have it for the wrong reasons. If the first thing out of your mouth isnt, "If I dont do it I will die" its not for you.
Words of wisdom:
No one will be impressed by your weightoss. They will be happy that you lost weight, perhaps impressed if you keep it off. I promise, you will not run into an old flame that sees the new thin you and wishes they would have treated you differently. Those who dated you FAT thought you were beautiful then, in their eyes you may look good, but you dont get more beautiful to them. I have heard many stories about WLS peeps thinking about what it will be like when they run into an old flame and how they want to show him/her up. They want them to think, "man why did I let him/her go." They let you go because you didnt get along. They let you go because you more than likely had low self esteem, and werent all that fun to be around. In my days, I had lots of dates, and I have ran into quite a few of old boyfriends. The reaction is always the same. "I thought you were beautiful then, and your still beautiful now." Only one asked me out. (We stopped dating because he had moved ot of the state.) No one ever kicked himself, and had regret. Essentially your still the same person to them. Dont go crazy at the prospect of how people will react to skinny you. Also, you will get rumors or comments about how you are too thin, look sick, look like you are on drugs, etc., stay true to those you love and who love you.
Thats my story, do not hesitate to ask any questions if you are curious about anything else.
Four years post op Feb 9th
Congrats
Big change...
Linear Mode
