2 years and counting!! - ThinnerTimes

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 01:41 PM

Wow, what a difference 2 years can make. I just came home from my 2 year postop check and just wrapping my head around the numbers alone is very humbling.

Weight: 359/159
BMI: 58/26
Fat %: 54.2%/25.8%
Fat Mass:186 lbs/41.5 lbs (down 144.5 lbs of FAT!!!

)
FFM: 157.5 lbs/119.5 lbs
Waist: 57 in/35 in
Hips: 65 in/39.5 in

Co-morbidities:
Sleep Apnea-GONE!
High Cholesterol-GONE!
Type II Diabetes-GONE!
High Blood Pressure-GONE!
Knee Pain-GONE!

All labs are totally normal except Liver Enzymes are slightly elevated. My surgeon explained that with major weight loss you will usually see those elevated for 2 or more years. The big thing they look at is to see if they are coming down, which they are. My blood counts are all back up to normal since my plastic surgery so the iron I've been taking did the trick!

So physically this has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. Though I would love to see a 10 pound weight loss yet I'm happy where I am. I'm down an additional 20 pounds in the last year so, yes, you can still lose weight after that honeymoon period, people!! Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Emotionally, this journey still has it's rough periods. I'm getting to know who I am and what it means to live "life" in a body I haven't ever known. Maintenance is a challenge but I know I am worth it!! Do I see this as an end to my journey? No, personally I don't think there is ever an end. Weight and weight management will always be a struggle and something I have to watch but honestly how is that much different from most people? I've been brought to a level playing field as the population of "normal" people, now it is my job to continue to use the gift that I have been given, never taking it for granted.

Has this surgery been worth it? Oh yeah....totally....no doubt in my mind!

sdgrrl · 01-28-2008, 02:06 PM

Beth, Dear,
How wonderful the changes you've mastered in the last 2 years! Very impressive numbers, and also impressive the way you are learning about the you that has been buried in you for so long.

The self realization stuff isn't easy, whether we're thin, fat, 'normal' or challenged. It doesn't get talked about a lot, and my feeling is that it is that way because the people who don't do it don't have a clue, and the people who do figure it is so essential (of the essence) to who we are that they think everyone does it, and what makes them so special? So the discovery and discussion is left to those of us who find it buried deep inside, underneath the layers of hurt and scar tissue, there, a pulsating mass of pink raw emotion.

It's not easy, this being normal thing. I find I still make pretty much the same mistakes as I used to make, some of them even worse than when I was big. I used to weigh my friendships very carefully, each step of the way, to make sure I wouldn't get my friendship thrown back in my face. After all, fat people aren't worthy of real friendship....they'd.....eat all the food! Now as a small person, I tend towards thinking that no one would want to hurt me--hey, I'm normal! Nothing to make fun of, no fear that I would out-eat them in a famine. Whew, was I ever wrong! People of every stripe take advantage/get taken advantage of. While weight may very well make everything stand out in bas relief, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with our size or theirs. For me, my work is just beginning, learning how to distinguish people who really care for me vs the poseurs and pretenders. Ouch.

I don't know what demons are in your Pandora's box, what lessons you are here to learn, but Beth, please know that I am here to help you on that path. If you stumble, I'll help you up. If you need to run--hell, I'll create a diversion while you slip away!

Just remember to take care of you! We've kind of been conditioned to recognize that last, if ever. I'm in the process of learning that, just as the rest of us on this forum are. Don't look to me for example, or anyone else for that matter. It's something that is tailor made for each of us, and the secret is that we are the tailor.

Love you, Sweetie.

Joanne705 · 01-28-2008, 02:11 PM

Thank you for the words of encouragement. As a pre-op it is nice to have you continue to update 2 years out.

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 02:23 PM

Very wise words, Donna....words that you have learned in the hard way. But you know I don't actually think the "hard way" is the worst way. For myself if things come easy, well they just don't stick....it's too easy for me to slip. If I have to fight for something, eventually I learn.

Emotionally this journey is rough. Going into it I don't think I had any idea how much our emotions and scars control us. We have to learn a whole new way of living, of dealing with pain, hurt, scars...the bumps, stumbles, bruises and pain are worth it because it brings a whole new appreciation of what is important to me in my life. Putting myself first isn't the natural way for me but it is the way of growth, acceptance and love. Now that I have tackled so many of the physical demons it is now the time to work on "me". Sure, there are many times I fall back into old patterns, I see it often but now at least I recognize them and I can face them before they pull me under.

Thank you for your wise words, Donna. They are appreciated and thank you for recognizing my need to do this my way....btw...I'll call on you next time I need a diversion in order to run.

You're very good at that!

OsoDelDesierto · 01-28-2008, 03:42 PM

Beth, your physical shrinkage and emotional growth on your journey are so inspiring! Thank you for sharing this with us, and for being the wonderful presence you are here on TT!

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 05:48 PM

Joanne and Eric, thank you. I am truly humbled when others tell me I am an inspiration. If my story can help others on their journey then that is just icing on the cake for me.

Eric, your day is coming soon and I am so excited for you and am so looking forward to being there for you as you start your journey.

Janelle · 01-28-2008, 06:02 PM

So many of you wise. I am constantly amazed by the amount of reflection I find on this board. I hadn't thought about how most of us are or will be living in bodies we have never lived in. I guess while I am ready for the physical changes of wls, I hadn't thought about not having been as "fit" as I hope to be in my entire adult life. It is kind of scary! You have definitely given me something to think about. Not in a bad way, though.

fisher1000 · 01-28-2008, 06:12 PM

Beth,

Thank you for sharing! I hope I look half as good when I'm 2 years out. And actually, your plastics journey has given me a lot to mull over. I originally didn't want to have ANYMORE surgery, but I'm less apprehensive after reading what you've shared.

You ARE an inspiration, and I'm so glad I've had this opportunity to get to know you through ThinnerTimes...you're awesome!

-Mike