2 years and counting!! - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janelle

So many of you wise. I am constantly amazed by the amount of reflection I find on this board. I hadn't thought about how most of us are or will be living in bodies we have never lived in. I guess while I am ready for the physical changes of wls, I hadn't thought about not having been as "fit" as I hope to be in my entire adult life. It is kind of scary! You have definitely given me something to think about. Not in a bad way, though.

Janelle, the fact that I am now living in a body that I have never known has been rather disarming for me. I had been overweight to obese since I was 8 years old. I had very short periods where I reached normal weight but they were few and far between and I must admit at those times I still carried the mindset of being overweight. I've struggled with embracing the person that I am becoming. Often I don't recognize myself...the things that I do and say. Sometimes it feels as if I am watching someone else and I find myself thinking and wondering, is that REALLY ME???

I'm becoming that person of my dreams, that person I never thought would be a person of reality. Sometimes I find that very scary but also exciting. It's been a very emotional journey for me in many ways. I sometimes find myself wrestling with feelings that I don't deserve this "goodness". Or wondering if this too is only yet another one of my dreams. Am I going to wake up one day to find myself once again over 300 pounds? I get on the scale and I still find it hard to believe. I still can't wrap my mind around the number I see on the scale because those are the numbers that I have only experienced in my dreams and I have been so programed throughout my life that when it comes to my weight my dreams will never be a reality.

Like I have said to people so many times is that I find this entire experience VERY humbling. I honestly feel this surgery and my success is a gift. It is something that someone greater than me has given to me. I feel so totally undeserving but grateful beyond words. One of the things that I honestly want most in life is to help others experience the reality of finding that person that has only ever been in their dreams and living a life they have never known.

Forgive my sermon here...I just find myself rather emotional tonight.

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisher1000

Beth,

Thank you for sharing! I hope I look half as good when I'm 2 years out. And actually, your plastics journey has given me a lot to mull over. I originally didn't want to have ANYMORE surgery, but I'm less apprehensive after reading what you've shared.

You ARE an inspiration, and I'm so glad I've had this opportunity to get to know you through ThinnerTimes...you're awesome!

-Mike

Well my dear sir, the plastics journey most certainly was something that threw me for a loop, physically and emotionally. I don't know but I honestly feel that emotionally it was a harder decision for me than even my wls. There is alot to "mull over" that's for sure but at least for myself I look at it this way. My wls was a gift that one far greater than me gave to me but my plastic surgery was a gift I gave myself. It has helped me emotionally in a way I didn't expect. It has helped bring me to a place that I FEEL normal. I honestly don't think I would have been able to come to that feeling of "normalcy" at least when it comes to how I see my body without it. Feel free to "mull it over" with me anytime. The support you have shared with me has been so appreciated and I would love to return the favor.

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 07:16 PM

Andie, Corrine...thank you. To tell you the truth I think you all are a guiding light and TOTALLY amazing!!

Toony · 01-28-2008, 07:50 PM

Beth... I love your sharing... You and I have a lot in common... or I have a lot in common with OLD BETH... and can only aspire to be as successful as you. Thank you so much for posting such intimate feelings and details of your journey... You are helping so many of us!

Love you Hon!!!

Katie - who's ridden the emotional roller coaster today!

MiladyB · 01-28-2008, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toony

Beth... I love your sharing... You and I have a lot in common... or I have a lot in common with OLD BETH... and can only aspire to be as successful as you. Thank you so much for posting such intimate feelings and details of your journey... You are helping so many of us!

Love you Hon!!!

Katie - who's ridden the emotional roller coaster today!

Awww, Katie...I love you too sweetie! *hugs*

I'm so glad your day has settled on stable ground. Please know that I am always here for you and others. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I often talk to myself on the forum. Words...it's the only way I can figure out this jumbled mind of mine sometimes.

One day we will have to meet my dear. I travel into Wisconsin almost yearly because I have a brother who lives in Shawano next time will probably be this summer so we will certainly have to make plans!

Thank you for your constant kind words and support. You are a very dear lady who I appreciate so much!

Blueyz · 01-28-2008, 08:46 PM

Beth,

You have always been an inspiration to me. Always there for me, always there for others, and you just have that way about you that I just admire. You had an amazing journey and many look at you as a perfect example of wls. You look awesome.

And deserve all the best....

katzz87 · 01-28-2008, 10:25 PM

Thanks for sharing your journey with us here on TT forum. I'm sure you've helped more people than you can imagine just by sharing your experiences within this board. For this I thank you!!!

Also...those recipes sound sooooo good, keep 'em coming!!

MiladyB · 01-29-2008, 09:17 AM

Dale, Katz thank you for the kind words. It really is my joy to be here to help others along this journey. I am far from perfect. I never will profess to doing everything right. I have my struggles, stumbles and falls but the important thing is that there IS another day to pick myself up.

coptergirl · 01-29-2008, 09:24 AM

Bethie-Poo - I just love you and am so very proud of not only your accomplishments, but of the truly amazing woman you are inside. Such an inspiration!

MiladyB · 01-29-2008, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coptergirl

Bethie-Poo - I just love you and am so very proud of not only your accomplishments, but of the truly amazing woman you are inside. Such an inspiration!

Oh Whitney you are going to make me cry!!

A good cry though. Thank you for always being SO supportive of me. You are one sweet lady and I would love to meet you one day. Maybe some time this summer I should take a weekend and drive down to Buffalo to meet you and Mike.

Hey, it really only is about a 6-7 hour drive!! Not outside the realm of possibility, that's for sure.