Lord, I hate food (ranting fit - LONG) - ThinnerTimes

Gina in NY · 07-19-2007, 03:42 PM

Now that I'm a year out, you'd think I knew something about how to eat, but I swear, I know so little, it drives me crazy.

The deal is, I set myself up at home and a work and I eat right 95% of the time there. But this past week, we went to Vermont to sell our house and stayed in hotel, eating out for every single meal for four days and guess what - I have no idea how to eat and I HATE it!

Almost every meal I ended up eating just a little too much, making me really uncomfortable, but not enough to actually throw up. That would have been better! As I usually had to go lift heavy things or clean or whatever to get the house ready for the new owners.

And I'm stupid and slow and I don't learn! So first morning at hotel, continental breakfast - great - I get a Lite and Fit yogurt (one of those little ones) , this, mini omlette thing and a slice of 12 grain toast - fine. Eat yogurt, eat omlette, and think, I'm a little full! Eat toast anyway - I mean it is good for you right? No - it is not!! ouchy pouchy. So next morning, I get yogurt, omlette and bran muffin...Why do I think this will be different - so you already know, I ate all three things and was miserable again. Third day - no omlette, but I started drinking my decaf before I'd finished, just so I'd feel miserable again...PULEEZE - what the heck is wrong with me?? Why can I not look at a certain amount of food and know if it will be too much? I've been doing this for a YEAR! and I have no idea what I'm doing.

Okay - I do know a few things - no hot dogs, no hamburgers, no honey, no maple syrup, nothing like bacon or sausage or anything. No white flour buns or bread - it is like eating a brick. All these things have made me throw up so I don't eat them. But eating too much is very bad too and it makes me mad.

Now - lunch on the second last day - get chinese and I'm eating beef and string beans (trying to get that iron up) after about 6 bites, I'm feeling REALLY bad so I stop. I tell hubby I'm feeling awful and he tells me the string beans have been deep fried. (He can tell by looking at them) Why can't I see that - why can't I taste how greasy it is because I know greasy does me in!!

I am just so disgusted. I feel like I've learned almost nothing in a year. I keep going out there and eating like who I was and not who I am. It is like I need to start over with a list of things I can eat and not waver from it.

Of course, I gained a couple pounds, but I wasn't drinkning any water, so I'm not too worried about it, but the constant pain is SO uncool.

I did have ONE meal, only one in four days, where I ate well. After closing, with the huge check in my purse, we went out for sushi and I ate just enough. Those Japanese know something about good portion sizes!

Anyway, I am very upset with myself. I need to go to gastric bypass food by site identification of bad stuff and quantities for you class.

And now - I feel so sick. All day I've felt like crap - my pouch is pissed off, nothing I eat is okay. I'm throwing in the towel today. Tea and protein shakes for the rest of the day.

And I have surgery in a week. Great!

Grrrrrr

porshh951 · 07-19-2007, 03:46 PM

awww gina. Sounds like you just had a bad week. We've all made mistakes and done stuff we shouldn't. Instead of typing a few pages worth i'll just call you(i actually tried you this morning but, you weren't there).

(hugs)

LisaM · 07-19-2007, 05:11 PM

Here's the deal - we all struggle when we can no longer control our environment. I've been away from home for nearly six weeks now, and I know within reason that I've gained five or six pounds - I can feel it.

So, I have to figure out how to control my environment even when I'm in an uncontrolled environment, and I swear, it's harder than it was to get protein in the first few weeks post-op. This ain't easy, and I'm right there with you sister Gina...

Sorry I don't have any tips--but I'm figuring out that for me, it's volume and nothing else. Sugar's still the only thing I have a bad reaction to substance-wise. Grease doesn't bother me. But overeating one bite leaves me rocking over a pillow for approximately an hour to an hour and a half after eating.

I just can't seem to get a lock on how much is good for me, and have apparently lost all the pouch signals that say "stop, one bite more is disaster." So I'm trying to eat MUCH less than I think I want, wait a while and eat a little bit more if I'm still hungry. So far, it's working.

Gina in NY · 07-19-2007, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaM

Here's the deal - we all struggle when we can no longer control our environment. I've been away from home for nearly six weeks now, and I know within reason that I've gained five or six pounds - I can feel it.

So, I have to figure out how to control my environment even when I'm in an uncontrolled environment, and I swear, it's harder than it was to get protein in the first few weeks post-op. This ain't easy, and I'm right there with you sister Gina...

Sorry I don't have any tips--but I'm figuring out that for me, it's volume and nothing else. Sugar's still the only thing I have a bad reaction to substance-wise. Grease doesn't bother me. But overeating one bite leaves me rocking over a pillow for approximately an hour to an hour and a half after eating.

I just can't seem to get a lock on how much is good for me, and have apparently lost all the pouch signals that say "stop, one bite more is disaster." So I'm trying to eat MUCH less than I think I want, wait a while and eat a little bit more if I'm still hungry. So far, it's working.

Thank you dear. I was really frustrated when I wrote this post, as I was feeling awful - after 4 days of just too much. I spoke with John who also helped me figure out that the one meal I didn't overeat at was the one meal where I was not trying to keep the kids happy in a restaurant. I was alone with DH - so though I need to work on portions in general, I especially need to come up with strategies to deal with food while the kids are going wacko.

It gives me comfort in another way too, because I was wondering if the reason I am not losing is because I'm just eating way more than I think I am - but when home, I've been writing down everything for a couple weeks and I know I'm not. You got to your goal, and you are doing great through some major stress, it makes me feel more human. Does that makes sense? I suddenly feel like this might actually just be part of the normal "learning curve". But I know what my next project is!

I am actually going to do a liquid diet tomorrow to sort of "clean out" as it were. I still feel full - does that make sense? I mean, it has just been too much.

So thanks for the words of comiseration.

You know, way back when, like 20 years ago, I used to pray before every meal and I never forgot - I was in a different place. I need that same type of focus now for my food. If I took one minute to think before I started, I could divide the plate, serve out only what I need or just SEE all that food and decide how much to eat before I start, and maybe that would help.

I don't know. I'm still working on it.

LisaM · 07-19-2007, 11:12 PM

I do have to say, it's not always like this. At home I did go for weeks without sweating too much what I was eating... but yes, during my recent travails, I do get the feeling of waking up the next day and STILL feeling too full, or most recently feeling sore, like I'd been kicked in the midsection by a horse, simply from that one bite too many the day before. And I'm nearly two years out!

I'm guessing it's a matter of being comfortable in our controlled environment when we can, but learning how to shortcut the behaviors that land us in this spot when we're off our own territory. Won't say "bad" or "dangerous" or "wrong." They're just behaviors that leave us feeling crappy. My personal opinion--I think your idea of taking a minute before we eat to think about what's in front of us, strategize how to get the most good nutrition, some satisfaction, and above all, no pain or feeling crappy afterward is a good one.

Tonight, rather than trying to pick over my friend's meal (steak and mac & cheese) to find something I could eat, I picked up a halibut steak, prepped it, and got him to grill it alongside the steaks. Felt so good to be getting what I knew was the right nutrition for me. See if I can hang on to that through the weekend...

You're welcome for the commiseration, and I'm glad I could help--I appreciate the good words on how I'm dealing with the stresses... I still fit in my size 6 jeans, wore 'em all day today, which makes me very, VERY happy. Maybe my perception that I'm gaining weight is flawed. Haven't weighed myself in over six weeks!