Who else doesn't see themselves as small? - Page 4 - ThinnerTimes

coptergirl · 05-02-2007, 05:57 PM

Beth - thanks so much for posting those articles. Its a mantra in my support group that they operated on our tummies - not our heads!! If you continually see a fat person in the mirror when you are fat, it conditions your mind, and your being. I went from a 28 and am now a 0-2-3. There are good days where I see myself as small. There are days I see myself as small, but criticize the hips or my melted candle thighs. There are even days when I still see a 272 pound person staring back at me in the mirror, but those are fading with time as my head catches up with the body image. We have all done this wonderfully courageous thing for ourselves to improve our health. I can only hope we can love ourselves enough to eventually shake the body image defining who we are. If loving ourselves means therapy, so be it. You are all my therapy

trickychick68 · 05-14-2007, 02:11 PM

I definitely don't see myself the way others see me, and although I like what I see in the mirror (clothed, lol), I still FEEL like a fat girl - I have had so many negative comments about me being "skinny", or "too thin", or "I need a cheeseburger" - I have increased calories, carbs (that I can tolerate) and have finally stayed at this weight for a few weeks - I also try to explain to people that they're not used to seeing my this way, and that this is they way we're built in my family - our collarbones show when we are thin... get over it!

I know someday I will feel different, but it hasn't happened yet.

Oh, and I started out in a 22/24 and am now a 6/8, and I LOVE IT.

Gina in NY · 05-14-2007, 03:40 PM

I don't know if this is related - I don't think of myself as huge anymore, but I really don't know where my body is in the world. I actually set up some chairs in my kitchen and started walking betweent them, over and over, until I could gauge how wide a space I needed. It was, of course, a HECK of a lot smaller than I thought it could be and still let me through. When I go sideways, I can't ever believe how small a space I need - seems like I can't possibly fit and I do. Wierd.

Also, I keep looking at my clothes when I fold them. They look small. I put them on and look at myself...I still look big...Go figure. But I'm trying to make sure I understand my size. I feel like I just need practice. My friend at work went down the hall with me, whispering one day, as I said, "Is she bigger than me or smaller" "How about her, how about her..." and we went on and on. She was amazing and it really helped me sort of see how others might see me. Apparently not thin, but sort of average, and I'm still acutally obese, but the muscles hide a lot of it. This friend of mine is 5'3" and weighs exactly what I want to weigh, so I think she'll be a big help to me when I hit goal. I mean I look at her and think - my body could NEVER look that good! and she doesn't work outlike I do. I just feel so much bigger than her - well - I am I guess, by about 35 pounds!

Now if you actually feel BAD about how you look - yea, I'd go see someone to talk to about it. You have to re-invent your identity to some extent when you've changed so much. It is easy to miss the "Time to beat up on myself" part of your life. Where to put all that energy now that you look great??

Anyway, it is very normal I think. You may get better at it on your own, you may need to spend some intimate time with someone you see as thin with a tape measure and some clothes. You know - see that you both have a waist that is such and such a size - look at your friend and really internalize that you look that small. Whatever you can think of to re-boot your brain.

Unless you really don't like the way you look, you may be fine. But again, you should know.

Good luck dear!

Deb2 · 05-14-2007, 05:28 PM

Wow, this is an awesome thread. Very good articles and comments from all of you. So many useful suggestions and advice in this thread...hope everyone takes the time to read it.

Thanks for sharing, everyone.

kwiktrip · 05-14-2007, 06:49 PM

I have been having issues this last week , with feeling fat . mainly because of my belly which is mostly extra skin , but does still have some fat. i just feel like i cant hide it and people can see it (gross) . i started at a size 22/24 an now in a 11/12 but can wear some 9/10 and some 8's. but 11/12 i can try to hide it. but sometimes i gie up and just put on a baggy shirt or wont tuck it in. nobody understands though unless they have been through what we have. our brains have to play catch up.....

LisaBoston · 05-15-2007, 03:21 AM

Gina, I love your exercise with the chairs in the kitchen. I will have to try that one. I have mixed feelings with my size. I don't see what I was 18 months ago, but I don't think I see what is there now. On another thread I posted sunburn pics. I have gone back and looked at them many times now and think how stupid to post those, I look so fat. OMG...really...I have to wonder. The pants I am wearing are a size 10 and I can pull them off without undoing the button or zipper. Size 10 am I kidding myself...my goal when I started this journey was to bea size 16. A panni in a few weeks is bound to take off more.....I need to do the chair test.

ezarella · 05-17-2007, 07:07 AM

I'm only recently getting to the point where I can look in the mirror and say, "Not bad! Not bad at all!" However, I'm a train wreck naked, and I won't be able to get any plastic surgery for a looooooong time. Oh well, my husband doesn't care, so why should I?

shannon_duncan · 05-20-2007, 09:04 PM

Thanks for sharing your pain. It takes courage to be open about this. I can totally relate. I have the same issue and no one really understands. I have found that it has gotten better over time. I have lost about 110 (it still fluctutates) and yet I still see the size 24 girl in the morro, instead of the small/medium top and 10/12 bottom. I have even said to people that I still need to loose another 20 or so. A number of people have asked me to stop loosig because they are afraid I am getting too thin and that is sompletely foreign to me. I think for me it has something to do with the fact that I didn't really see myself as being as big as I was, and at the same time, I did. I literally hated my body and thought about how much I hated my body almost 24/7. It takes time to undo all of that self hatred. A number of people have told me I seem calmer now. I think I just don't hate myself anymore, and that is a new feeling for me. I think the feeling "obese" is tied to still not likeing myself. I have definitely had some harsh treatment from the general population as most obese people have, and now that I am smaller, it has really changed. It is uncomfortable to feel attractive, and more familiar to feel unoticed and unwanted.

Hope this helps...

LisaBoston · 05-26-2007, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shannon_duncan

Thanks for sharing your pain. It takes courage to be open about this. I can totally relate. I have the same issue and no one really understands. I have found that it has gotten better over time. I have lost about 110 (it still fluctutates) and yet I still see the size 24 girl in the morro, instead of the small/medium top and 10/12 bottom. I have even said to people that I still need to loose another 20 or so. A number of people have asked me to stop loosig because they are afraid I am getting too thin and that is sompletely foreign to me. I think for me it has something to do with the fact that I didn't really see myself as being as big as I was, and at the same time, I did. I literally hated my body and thought about how much I hated my body almost 24/7. It takes time to undo all of that self hatred. A number of people have told me I seem calmer now. I think I just don't hate myself anymore, and that is a new feeling for me. I think the feeling "obese" is tied to still not likeing myself. I have definitely had some harsh treatment from the general population as most obese people have, and now that I am smaller, it has really changed. It is uncomfortable to feel attractive, and more familiar to feel unoticed and unwanted.

Hope this helps...

Shannon...I felt the "funny" treatment from a class I taught yesterday. I am a aquatic trainer for our region and had 21 students yesterday. I was always the biggest girl and yesterday, the ones that are larger than me now..well you could see and feel jealously from them. They were SO surprised to see me and didn't recognize me at all..and of course made a big issue about it. Even some that saw me in October of last year were shocked. I don't see what they see. I really don't think I should be unrecognizable. I looked at myself in the mirror in my bathing suit and I think I look somewhat the same as I did 1.5 years ago. (I didn't see the fat back then, except in pictures)

Being comfortable in my bathing suit at either weight plays games with my head. Strangely enough, when I was 314lbs, I walked around our pool deck without any issues. Yesterday, I wore my swimsuit and had shorts on to cover up the flab on my legs as we were doing the water activities. Why at 165lbs am I ashamed of my legs, but as a 314lb morbidly obese person was I more comfortable in my skin. Its a tough call....but at least we are not alone.

marine · 10-09-2007, 05:18 PM

What at great BMI Bluez, thanks so much for making me laugh with your expression of "gargantua bones". i had not laughed since some time.

Lauire as every else said, enjoy enjoy enjoy whatever size YOU feel OK with an comfortable. Only listen to yourself and your physician. Skip the others, if you feel great, they will also start seeing you great so nicely slim.

Cheers,
Marine
Lap RYGBP / Sep 21 2007 - Lost22lbs, preop 238, actual 216, goal <=154 max or less (actually the more the time passes, the smaller becomes by goal........)