Who else doesn't see themselves as small? - Page 3 - ThinnerTimes

LQQkn · 04-28-2007, 09:27 AM

I saw this thread and it made me think. I am struggling with my food so badly it's not funny. I got to where I couldn't get out of bed I am too weak. It sounds like I might need counseling. Thanks for talking about your body image.
I am a size 3, 118lbs 5-6 I am way too thin for my frame. It is hard to eat anything it just makes me nauseated. Anyone have this trouble of eating and everything makes you sick no matter what? What is that about? Is it a eating disorder? Well I guess I'm going to seek some therapy and find out. Thanks Janie

Mavisavis · 04-28-2007, 11:45 AM

I too am a bigger size on top than bottom. But on the bottom I am usually between a 1/2 and a 3/4. I had some issues too with seeing my size. Here are a few practical things that helped me. However, I feel I need to add.....mine is not an actual disorder, just an adjustment thing as a normal part of the journey. If you suspect it has gotten unhealthy...please, please get professional help. Also, I would say me seeing a little more clearly happened maybe about 16-18 months out. Now I am much kinder and more realistic with myself.

1. Compare pics.....sit a before and after on your desk or somewhere you see frequently.
2. Try on old clothes.
3. I'm not suggesting plastics, but they helped me majorly....I was counting the excess skin both on the scale and on my sides as "fat".
4. This one helped the most......walk past a mirror or large picture window.....don't stop and study as you do your own mirror. The stopping and taking time is where the nitpicking comes. Walk briskly, and just glance yourself. It would give me a quick moment for my eye to see my overall view before my brain totally interpretted it as me. REALLY! I'd end up going, "wow, that person is small....normal".

Bmuscial · 04-29-2007, 06:17 AM

I have lost 80 lbs and i am in an 8 but i just don't see that much difference. When i try on clothes or look in the mirror all i see is at least 50 more lbs. I am obsessed with the gym and i am trying my best to be 158 by friday so i can go visit my best friend. One of my friends got extrememly mad at me because i didn't want to go in to a store called 5,7,9. She actually said i needed to see someone because i had issues. I am just not ready to go in to a store like that. In my head what if the sizes run small and all it does is make me feel worse then i did before i walked into the store. I work for a plastic surgeon and he told me he thought i had a little bit of body dis morphia. I don't know but i am reading up on it right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitbefore40

I was just wondering. I know that today I'm wearing a pair of size 4 petite cropped pants and a sized medium sweater - but I don't think I'm that small at all. I'm not trying to lose weight anymore, b/c my doctor told me not to - but I don't see it. I don't have anybody around that seems to help - it's like everyone that knows me just says LOOK AT YOU, CAN'T YOU SEE IT?? There just are not that many people that understand what I've been through. When I go to support group, a lot of the people are pre-op and they seem to think that I'm NUTS for having any size issues. (my husband and best friend say the same thing) I need a friend that understands this type of thing. I want to be able to just say what I feel without all these people feeling so darn defensive - they say things like "you are skinny now, do you just want to hear that over and over?" And "just be happy that you don't have any problems with your weight now" ARGHHHHH!! I think this is a problem.

LisaBoston · 04-29-2007, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bmuscial

I have lost 80 lbs and i am in an 8 but i just don't see that much difference. When i try on clothes or look in the mirror all i see is at least 50 more lbs. I am obsessed with the gym and i am trying my best to be 158 by friday so i can go visit my best friend. One of my friends got extrememly mad at me because i didn't want to go in to a store called 5,7,9. She actually said i needed to see someone because i had issues. I am just not ready to go in to a store like that. In my head what if the sizes run small and all it does is make me feel worse then i did before i walked into the store. I work for a plastic surgeon and he told me he thought i had a little bit of body dis morphia. I don't know but i am reading up on it right now.

Congrats on your 80 lb weight loss. I hear a lot of obsession in your post...seems that the numbers are really important to you. A little advice if you don't mind.........

Numbers are just numbers...it doesn't matter what the scale says or the size on the tag. The key thing is health and the size of the pants is great, but that realistically relates to size and health. I am a little concerned about you too....I think its very common. For me the numbers on the scale were important in the first year as "we are supposed to loose weight" and I needed to see the numbers go down. Sometimes obsessively. We spent so much time MO, and failed at so many diets, that numbers become a big part of daily living.

Being down 80 pounds, in a size 8 you don't mention health, but I can assume you are healthier....thats alot to be proud of. I know from my experience, it takes a LONG time for the head to catch up with the body.

Wishing you well.

twodogsmom · 04-30-2007, 03:05 PM

I so don not see my self as normal/small. I have lost 100 or so lb, gone from a 22/24 to a 10 and still don't see myself as normal. I see the flab around my middle that still hangs over my waistband-hopefully a tummy tuck eventually (maybe the fall of this year) will remove that roll, but I just don't see myself as small. I think body image is probably one of the hardest things to change. My therapist and I work on it but it has been all my life as fat, and the self-image just won't budge. What has worked for others?

Vois · 04-30-2007, 07:00 PM

This is definitely not just a woman issue.

I know growing up I always wanted to be one of "pretty" people. I always thought that "they" didn't have any problems. I lost weight, had plastics and this started 5 yrs ago. Now that the scale doesn't and the body fat doesn't change...it's like "What now?" All the goals have been met and now other people see me as one of "them."

I found a local support group and went to the first meeting last Tuesday. I was immediately looked at with evil eyes and the "what is he doing here" stares from people. No one would even sit next to me and they were out of chairs. I didn't know but found out that people had to stand up and "say" where they were in the process. It finally got around to me and one of the woman got up before me to skip me but I cut her off anyway... I stood up and told my story anyway...the 300 lb loss which was more than anyone else had lost there. I got a standing ovation and people were immediately nice to me and started asking all kinds of questions not even believing I had ever been 1 lb overweight in my life. The woman that had skipped me apologized and said she wondered where my wife was and thought I was ther for someone else.

I've also been told by female coworkers who don't know my past that..."You're a good looking guy, what kind of problems could you have?" I could have easily said or thought this about women I know. Just proves how wrong she and I both were.

Perception can be good and bad. I think we all think a lot less of ourselves than we do other people. I get called skinny or thin all the time now or they ask me if I'm seven feet tall. But I look in the mirror and I see someone who is overweight, and needs more plastic surgery to fix things.

I guess what I am trying to say is that although I don't have the answers I can definitely relate.

And to those of you who think that your problems can be completely solved with weight loss and plastic surgeries, you may be disappointed.

I've come a long way but it isn't over...will it ever be over?

LisaBoston · 04-30-2007, 07:13 PM

Dwayne, what a moving moment you had. Amazing how people's perceptions are and how differently you were treated in a matter of moments. Its very sad. On the flip side of the coin, what you have accomplished is amazing and you have so much to share with others.

Thank you SO MUCH for your post.

fitbefore40 · 05-01-2007, 09:22 AM

Everyone - thank you so much for posting on this thread - this is my sanity. Dwayne, your story is so touching. Perception is such a tricky beast - I never imagined people could percieve ME as a thin person with no weight issues. I feel like I actually am a bit larger than average - which I KNOW is a skewed image of myself - but I'm working on it - and reading comments and stories here help me with that.

I went to my plastic surgery pre-op visit this morning - PICTURES . . . ekkk. I'll take some myself and post them when I'm post op. As I was dressing to leave the office, my thoughts were "how can I have this fat gut and wear a size 4 . . . there is something just not right with these pants" But I think that PS will not solve the issues I have - they are a bit deeper.

Still a work in progress 13 months post op - that's me!

Mercedes · 05-02-2007, 12:52 PM

I have lost 140lbs & am now a British size 12 top & 10 bottom (US 8/6 - gosh that sounds tiny!). I always used to be pear-shaped when I was MO but now my skeletal frame is showing it seems I have broad shoulders & slim hips; it's funny how the fat lays down in peculiar proportions.
Anyway I cannot see myself as small, I still feel I need to loose about 20lbs but do not tell anyone as they usually snap my head off & say I'm obsessed. I am getting worried because I thought I would be able to start loving my body when I was a normal size. Instead of hating the rolls of fat I now hate the baggy skin folds, (which still seem to have small pockets of fat in them).
I wore my first short-sleeved top last week at work, as it's been unseasonally lovely weather here. While I was writing on the board some of the "bitchy girls" in my year 10 class (14-15yr olds) started shouting "chicken wings" (I think you say "bat wings"?). This has really upset me more than it should. At the moment I can't afford plastics after having paid thousands for the RNY & tbh was hoping to get away with a TT & BA next year, for which I'm saving. Now I feel like I have massive, baggy arms & need brachioplasty, I won't wear short-sleeves going out any more.
Counselling/therapy over here is expensive & there are hardly any therapists that are experienced with the issues following WLS anyway; I tried a couple of "general" ones but they were useless. Tbh I can't afford to save & pay for therapy anyway & the plastics are more important to me at the moment .

AThinnerSandyFor2006 · 05-02-2007, 04:29 PM

I've been told I am to small now. What exactly is to small. I was a size 20..I'm a size 4 now. I don't think I'm small. Is there something wrong with my vision?