How would you handle this??? - ThinnerTimes

melanie hirschorn · 12-01-2006, 01:57 PM

How would you guys handle this? where i work my clerk is leaving and a new clerk is coming. I met her today and she seems very nice, but she is extremely overweight and she was asking me if i'll be able to refer her to good restaurants that we can go eat lunch at. I come to find out she had gastric bypass surgery about four years ago, which is when i did, and gained back all her weight plus more. I met her at a going away party for someone and all i can say is she likes to eat. how do i handle her when she comes. as it is for me,. i had my surgery four years ago my lowest was 118 and i'm now at `145 , which is fine, and am maintaining at 145 and have to struggle to maintain at 145 and not go over that. i find i don't say no like i used to when food presents itself and, like i say, she likes to eat and is planning on me being her lunch buddy. how would you handle this situation knowing she was unsuccessful and i don't want to end up as her partner in crime.
melanie

katlover66 · 12-01-2006, 02:02 PM

Melanie,
Be honest with her. Tell her that you want to eat healthy and an occassional lunch would be fine, but not everyday. I too am struggling to lose the 20 I put back on.

AlabamaChick · 12-01-2006, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melanie hirschorn

How would you guys handle this?

Just tell her in a nice tone that you didn't go through this process for nothing and you are happy with the way things are now and that food is not a social event for you anymore and you would enjoy doing something else. Stand your ground. Why should you conform to what she wants? This is YOUR body.....not hers. So take charge. There is nothing wrong with stating you do not want to eat. Why would you not have a choice?

LisaBoston · 12-01-2006, 02:41 PM

Key thing is that the decision you make are for you, and she makes her decisions for her. If you want to go for lunch every so often, thats great - you know how to choose healthy things for you. Let her order what she wants...maybe your good habits will rub off on her? We all live in the real world which unfortunately revolves around food...we just have to make good choices.

We all know what its like to have others around us telling us what to eat and what not too...we wouldn't want to do that to anyone else...I have to tell myself this all the time with my husband who is a junk food junkie and has never had a weight problem in his whole life!

BethBaugh · 12-01-2006, 03:17 PM

Be honest with yourself and her. If you have a problem saying no to food, don't put yourself around the food you have a problem saying no to. Tell her you struggle with food choices but want to do the right thing and be healthy. Your not putting choices on her or judging her and tell her so. You know you did this to be healthier, so stick to it! You can do it and be smooth.

Beth B. in TN

Witchypoo · 12-01-2006, 03:42 PM

I'd definitely be honest and tell her that while on occasion you'd like to have lunch with her you would prefer not to eat out all the time. Suggest some alternates like walking 2-3 days a week during your lunch hour as a way to get to know her better (she's new right?). She's probably looking to befriend people and using food as a social exscuse to do so (like many of us probably did).

kittens4 · 12-01-2006, 04:03 PM

I agree..I'd be honest with her....and don't let her drag you down with her! Misery loves company! Wow, I can't imagine going through this, and gaining all the weight back. I do believe I'd slash my wrist...no not really, but man, I'd be soooooo sad...Not enough xanax on the shelves to help me get over that one! I just can't even think of it as a possibility in my life. It's way too scarey for me! Yikes!!!

LyndasRoom · 12-01-2006, 05:39 PM

Melanie,
You've received some really valuable advice. The best of all is to be honest...you can do that without hurting feelings, and I can tell you don't want to hurt her or you, or you wouldn't have asked. Simply~you are trying to stay healthier~good idea on the walks at lunch a couple times a week...walkin and talkin is great! Wish I had more, but that's it!

Ruca · 12-02-2006, 03:16 PM

sorry Hijack,

OMG Lynda is that you??? you look FABULOUS

chilmoe · 12-02-2006, 04:45 PM

hijack

omg that is lynda - i have been wondering who that is

you look fantastic, fabuloustic and all the other words to describe amazing, wow, bet your hubby cant take his hands off you, vavavavoom, wow!!!