when did you tell people that you were having or did have wls??? - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

mina576 · 09-18-2009, 02:50 PM

hello everyone. i have not has wls surgery yet and have not told my employers yet either. only my family knows that i will be having surgery. eventually i will have to tell my employers because of time off from work. i was wondering what reactions you have had when you told people of your plans to have surgery or that you did have surgery already??? i told one coworker yesterday and she kept telling me that i did not need surgery. i was kind of annoyed about her reaction and suggestion but i guess people will always tell you what they think and feel. i'm still having surgery but now i'm thinking that maybe i won't tell people (only the necessary ones) until after it's all done. i guess i was looking for a more positive reaction.

now i'm just rambling on and on...sorry.

mina

poet_kelly · 09-18-2009, 03:00 PM

I told my family and friends pretty much as soon as I decided I was having WLS. I work from home as a freelance writer so I don't really have coworkers, but I told my editors I would be taking some time off because I was having surgery. I didn't say what kind of surgery, however. I do volunteer work for the juvenile court and I told them I had to take time off to have surgery, but didn't tell them what kind of surgery, either. One person asked me so I did tell her. Since my surgery, a couple people have asked how I lost so much weight, and if they ask, I tell them.

I have not really had any negative reactions, but I know many people do get them. You need to be prepared for that if you're going to tell people.

You don't have to tell your employer you're having WLS if you don't want to, by the way. You can just say you need to have surgery and not give any details.

Kelly

Marella · 09-18-2009, 03:09 PM

Hi Mina... remember that people you tell will not always have the reaction you expect. In fact, most people don't have a clue on how to react. It seems that most people WILL tell you that you don't need surgery, no matter where on the line your weight is. I think they're trying to be nice, but just don't know what to say.

Some who ARE overweight may challenge your decision because they'd may have thought to pursue the avenue themselves, only you beat them to the punch by starting it first. Some will resent it, some will re-think and may pursue. You need to be open to have them come along and join the ride.

This is not where you find who your true friends are, it's just that since people don't know how to react, you yourself won't know how you want them to react. Whatever they say, you may find that you take it negatively, yet what they say is their best positive.

When someone sees you 'after' and you've lost a ton and they say WOW, you're instinct tells you "what was wrong with me before". You yourself would have the exact same reaction toward another, yet the response you receive is not what you want... yet if someone says nothing, you're craving some kind of response and you wonder why they're not saying anything.

Always remember that this journey is your own, it's personal and challenging. You need to be happy with your triumphs, and those special, who are supporting you need to work on accepting your positive changes. Though it's a personal journey, those around you are taking it with you, even if it's two steps behind you, or alongside you.

When and if you decide to tell people, whether pre-op or post-op, you need to be prepared with that 'grain of salt' for those compliments or reactions that seem strange. You need to hold on to WHY you are having weight loss surgery and decide to be excited about the drastic change in your life you are about to make.

You can disagree without being disagreeable. You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make your attitude to fit those situations before they arise.

I wish you every success. It's a one-day-at-a-time journey that will take you on a wild ride through Magic Mountain. It's fun, it's exciting, it's scary and when it's over, you can't believe you did it. But that fact that you did it is THE accomplishment!