Personality changes - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

staceyjay · 02-07-2009, 03:37 AM

Hi everyone. I'm Stacey (pre op, op date 25th Feb)

I was just wondering if i'm the only one who is a little worried about my personality will change.

Of course I want to have a little more self esteem but I have read/heard that some people change as they are adjusting to there knew body also due to the way they are treated by others, especially if you have always been big (like me).

A weird question but I hope someone know's what i'm rambling on about lol...

P.s I can barely understand how to use this site lol.... so you might see this message in more than one place.

sassy37 · 02-07-2009, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by staceyjay

Hi everyone. I'm Stacey (pre op, op date 25th Feb)

I was just wondering if i'm the only one who is a little worried about my personality will change.

Of course I want to have a little more self esteem but I have read/heard that some people change as they are adjusting to there knew body also due to the way they are treated by others, especially if you have always been big (like me).

A weird question but I hope someone know's what i'm rambling on about lol...

P.s I can barely understand how to use this site lol.... so you might see this message in more than one place.

Hi and welcome Stacey ....

Im sure u will get alot of feedback on this subject ...
I dont think there will be many that say : I HAVENT CHANGED !
Im only half way there at the moment and I feel I have changed ..

All the changes I have experienced so far are ::: Happiness , self worth , confidence , self asteem , more energy , Im only on 2 types of medication now instead of 6 !!!!!

As for OUR PERSONALITY : I think we change being obese ... we adapt our personality to match the big person ...
When we loose its OUR REAL personality that comes out . its been supressed for so many years ... we hide it deep under our layers ...
We tolerate things more being big , we are treated like a second class citizen, therefore we act like one ...
DONT WORRY ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY CHANGING !!! ITS ONLY THE REAL YOU BLOSSOMING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck for your surgery and keep us posted xxx

staceyjay · 02-07-2009, 04:08 AM

Thanks for replying I was a little apprehensive about writing the message.

When did you feel that you had more self esteem???

I think it's true what you have said, I have adjusted to being who I am now as I have had to.

like most on here always been big, and with that came a big personality the joker as it goes... I do like who I am, I just have always wanted people I dont know to like to it too(aka guys)....... thats a bit deep lol.
I'm classed always as the good friend.

Do you have more attention now??? and if so when did that start?

scoman187 · 02-07-2009, 09:25 AM

25 Feb huh? Thats my birthday

....I must agree with sassy here. I too have been more confident and less willing to take a backseat to anyone. Self esteem is through the roof yet I try and keep it somewhat in check. People dont stare at me so much any more and Im not always the biggest person in the room. I have treated myself to new clothes and a few trinkets that I feel i deserve. Ive been lucky that none of my friends treat me any different but I have noticed that females that didnt talk to me before now want to talk to me...I dont like that.I wasnt good enough then but I am now? "F" that!
I can buy clothes in regular stores now instead of the "big n tall" shops, that is nice. I can sit in a restaurant that has booths now.

Im still not small but I wont break furniture if I go to someones house. That has happened to me

My vehicle has more room inside,lol.
I catch myself getting a bit cocky sometimes and I reel myself back in. Its just part of it.
I can tie my shoes and breathe at the same time too!
I put the arms back on my computer chair......the list goes on and on.....
WLS is the best choice I have ever made.Id do it again if I had to.
The WOW moments sure outweigh,no pun intended,the trials and tribulations we went through to get here.(What was the topic again?) I got off on a rant,sorry. ...Sco

Phoenixfire · 02-07-2009, 09:47 AM

Yes my personality changed for the better. A lot of my identity was based on being overweight and then obese.
I became very comfortable in my own skin, and with that my shame and self-blame disappeared. My self-esteem grew from very little to a lot more than ever before.
I became more assertive and stopped stuffing my feelings. I verbalized them. I still do.
I felt more acceptable to others and not judged solely on my overweight appearance. That makes me feel comfortable in A LOT more social situations. It shows, others see it, and that's also more attractive than the personality I had based on my "socially unacceptable" weight.
I feel proud of myself for my big accomplishment, which was another boost of self-esteem.
I feel like I've emerged from a cocoon. And see myself as a pretty butterfly now because I don't identify myself as an "unacceptable" obese woman in our society. Believing that I am attractive has resulted in other people treating me differently. Better.
Like it or not, admit it or not, our weight dictates how we are judged in our society. I couldn't admit that to myself until after I lost my excess weight and then stayed thin.

staceyjay · 02-07-2009, 10:39 AM

Thanks for replying.

I soooooo can't wait until I feel like a butterfly lol...because i'm pre op I do sometime feel that I won't ever get out of the cocoon and it's just wishful feelings.... Slowly but surely people on here are resuring me how great they feel once losing the weight, I will soon join you all

,

staceyjay · 02-07-2009, 10:45 AM

Thanks for replying Scoman.. I love to read others views on this subjet.

I can join you in the breaking peoples chairs part being doing this sinces the age of 13.

I also can't wait for the whole new looks i'll be able to pull off, trendy clothes at last and will be able to shop anywhere instead of waiting for mates to hurry up..Wishing I was them trying the clothes on.

Happy Bday for the 25th

Janelle · 02-07-2009, 02:24 PM

I also notice a big change in my personality. It does all boil down to self-confidence. Now, I am much more likely to tell someone "how it is", where before I let a lot of things slide.

I also think that since I am so much happier with how I look, I have a friendlier disposition. When I was obese, I just wanted to fade into the background. Now, I will talk to random people, smile at random people.

I agree with the comment about attention from the opposite sex. Now, I have men talking to me who never would have before. On the one hand, it does bother me, but on the other...I didn't really like myself, so how could I expect a man to like me?

staceyjay · 02-07-2009, 02:54 PM

Wow ten months, you lost so much weight, its so incouraging.

The change in your personality is even more impressive.

Thank you for responding. A great read.

donnadee06 · 02-10-2009, 02:00 PM

I am 2 months post surgery and the best advice I can give anyone who is about to change their world is to surround yourself with positive people who love you just the way you are now and who will applaud and support you as you make this incredible journey. I have a very close group of girl friends who celebrated with me when I was approved, who went out with me for my "last girl's lunch" and with whom I am having a "First Girl's lunch" in a few days so they can see the progress I have made. They fuss over every success, preach patience to my every voiced frustration and can be trusted with my horrible "Before photos". They will tell me if I get to carried away or start acting like a hoochie or like a debutant. I have never been thin in my entire life, so this is a little like finding my way in a foreign country with no translation dictionary. But through it all, I have my lifelines!

Good luck on your surgery. It's a whole new world!!