Bad thoughts and tough decisions! - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

DWOODS4 · 12-19-2008, 09:44 PM

Am I ready for this fight? Insurance says they will not cover the surgery in their pamphlet. Primary care says people before me have been approved with a lot less reasons or health problems due to morbidly obese weight. He sent a letter to my insurance, and he seems confident that I would be approved. I know many of the risks of surgery, and I know the guaranteed problems if I do not have the Bypass. It is a difficult road ahead, and the cross I have to bear, so to speak, is beginning to take its mental toll on me. Researching the surgery has not made me feel any more comfortable about what is ahead for me.

Any others ever feel this way? How do you get past all the anxiety and dread? Not knowing if approval is in the cards, whether there will be complications during or after procedure, or where to have procedure and what Dr. to use. Will they understand at my job that I might need time off. I have all these worries and then some... yet here I am still waiting on insurance approval or rejection, (and still gaining weight).

How do I get past all these feelings? I am willing to take my chances now if approved but it does not make it easier.

Oh... Hello everyone. I am new here.

hexx2003 · 12-19-2008, 09:54 PM

Hi and welcome to TT. When I joined I knew I needed the surgery that I sought out after 6 years. I went to my surgeons informational seminar and that helped alieve alot of my ill feelings toward bypass. So I would suggest finding out what your surgeons statistics are, that will either make you a mental case or calm you down. Even though I knew I wanted it and I knew insurance would cover it, I still have some anxieties. But I quickly pass those weird feelings aside when i think about where my life will be going after surgery. There are risks with every surgery and this one too has complications galore. You will find alot on here. Though you will find alot, it is still a small percentage to the group that has had the procedure. And again, depends on the surgeon on the complications. I heard one in CA had like 4 deaths a year. Personally thats 4 too many in my book and I would not go with that one. The reality of the situation is that this is a life changing procedure. More so than any other procedure you may have had in the past. You must choose to do it if you can't see yourself living for a long life. I am 31, I know that if i dont have this procedure I can see me not living as long as I want to. I want kids and a fun life. I want to get off the couch and play tennis with my husband. I want a LIFE! So if you feel the same way then this surgery is for you! Good luck in your decision. I am 24 days (hopefully earlier) to my new birthday!! Dont you wanna be a loser with me???

Phoenixfire · 12-19-2008, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DWOODS4

Am I ready for this fight? Insurance says they will not cover the surgery in their pamphlet. Primary care says people before me have been approved with a lot less reasons or health problems due to morbidly obese weight. He sent a letter to my insurance, and he seems confident that I would be approved. I know many of the risks of surgery, and I know the guaranteed problems if I do not have the Bypass. It is a difficult road ahead, and the cross I have to bear, so to speak, is beginning to take its mental toll on me. Researching the surgery has not made me feel any more comfortable about what is ahead for me.

Any others ever feel this way? How do you get past all the anxiety and dread? Not knowing if approval is in the cards, whether there will be complications during or after procedure, or where to have procedure and what Dr. to use. Will they understand at my job that I might need time off. I have all these worries and then some... yet here I am still waiting on insurance approval or rejection, (and still gaining weight).

How do I get past all these feelings? I am willing to take my chances now if approved but it does not make it easier.

Oh... Hello everyone. I am new here.

Hi Woods. Crosses to bear are the things that make us stronger or reveal how weak we are. It's our choice to go either way on that there burden!

The key thing to remember - daily if needed - is that this is something that IS hard to get. Rightfully so I honestly think. The time it takes to get all your ducks in a row and get all the answers and face the dizzying array of what you have to do to GET the surgery is damn good preparation for just how much hard work you'll have to do after surgery. Maybe if you think of it as busting your ass to get what you want then in the end the reward will be bigger than just the wls. Sounds to me like you've got challenges in getting your goal...but isn't that often the way that valuable thinks are achieved: hard work, diligence, commitment and being determined when you decide what you want for yourself in life.

I can't tell you how to get past the feelings other than to say you can only fight for what you want in order to get it! That's the true test of our commitment to this life-changing choice that we make. In the end (and it may be a long time!) you will have found patience, determination and grit you might not feel you have right now. Think of it as a growing period while you fight for what you want! In my estimation that is never a bad thing in life.

I hope that you find some encouragement and a little kick in the hiney from my post, and mostly that you reach your goal (whatever that may be in the end). I think you're learning some good things while fighting for what you want!

But then I try to be an optimist...having been a pessimist for way too long, I think optimism is a quality to be achieved. It was for me at least.

Speaking from "the other side" of having wls I don't think there's a darn thing wrong in battling for what you want. During the process you'll have time to seriously prepare for this huge decision. Your life will not be the same after wls, and that's a fact

tygrysku · 12-19-2008, 11:19 PM

Hi Woods and welcome to TT.

I had been researching the surgery for about three years before starting the process this past July. My insurance company stated they did not cover gastric bypass either unless medical neccesity could be proved.
We were able to do that with all of my health complications. I did all the prerequisite appointments, psyche eval, cardiac, pulmonary, etc etc only to find out when my paperwork was submitted in September that the insurance company would not cover the surgery with the Doctor i had chosen as the hospital he was associated with was not a center of excellence.
i was heart broken, and even more so to find out the only center of excellence in Iowa was 135 miles away. I didnt miss a beat. The same day i called U of I digestive disease department and obtained online the gastric bypass questionaire and submitted it back to them that day. After a few more hoops, they pushed for my surgery to be completed as soon as possible and i am now 16 days post op.

It was a hassle, they do not make it easy. But what in your life is easy really that is worth having? Hang in there.. it will all be worth it.

kat

LisaM · 12-20-2008, 09:56 AM

I can't answer the insurance dreads... that was the easy part. Here's how I considered the surgery then, and still do... I risked my life to save my life. For me, it was worth it.

Disclaimer, and it's a big one: It changes EVERYthing.

DWOODS4 · 12-20-2008, 05:22 PM

I wish you well and thanks for the support. I was not expecting replies...especially so soon. Its nice to know that people on this site care and really support one another. I had four replies in a short period of time.

Merry Christmas to you and yours,
DWOODS4

MiladyB · 12-20-2008, 07:07 PM

First of all welcome to the TT forum! Good for you for seeking out knowledge and a support system BEFORE surgery! It's one of the best things you can do for yourself. It really is.

This is a big decision. Questions about physical and mental changes are normal and to be expected. I would be afraid if someone said they never questioned if this surgery was what was right for them.

I researched this surgery for 2 years. I finally decided to send in the paperwork. Things got lost and I chickened out. Mentally I just wasn't ready. A year later I was back and this time I was ready to fight and do whatever I needed to in order to get this surgery. Insurance denied me the first time. But I wasn't about to give up. My pcp and myself were ready for the fight. It took 6 months but I was finally approved only to have the surgeon refuse to do surgery on me. My diabetes, blood pressure and cholesterol were too out of control and he wouldn't touch me until they all were under better control. I knew I was in for the fight of my life. I knew without a doubt this surgery was my last and only chance and I was going to fight to make it happen. Once again my pcp was there and he worked aggressively with me to get my co-morbidities under control. It took another 6 months. Finally my surgeon agreed to do surgery.

I am now almost 3 years postop. Looking back I honestly feel that the fight for this surgery better prepared me for the fight afterwards. It isn't an easy road. Physically and mentally it is hard. It really is. Yes, there can be complications. I've had several of my own but I've never regretted my decision. Even with the complications my quality of life far exceeds my previous quality of life. All of my co-morbidities are GONE! And I'm able to enjoy the fact that I am alive. At the age of 52 I dare to dream and actually KNOW those dreams are coming true.

Don't let the fears scare you. Keep researching. Yes, there are many potential complications. They can happen and have happened to several of us. But when I think about where my quality of life would probably be right now if I never had this surgery? Well there is NO question at all that I gave myself the best gift I ever could have given myself...and I cherish each day that I have to live life!

Phoenixfire · 12-20-2008, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiladyB

Looking back I honestly feel that the fight for this surgery better prepared me for the fight afterwards. It isn't an easy road. Physically and mentally it is hard. It really is.

Beth you should start a thread in the pre-op section JUST so there is a thread for pre-op people to read your well-worded and VERY TRUE words! Seriously! You succinctly summed up a very critical aspect of the hard work entailed when choosing to have surgery, and the VERY hard work that is LIFE-CHANGING in every way anyone could imagine. I think it's one of those things you can only really know until after surgery. OR if you know someone in real life that has had wls and you've seen first-hand just how much wls changes your life.

DWoods, I hope you keep a marker on this post from Beth. It's exactly the sort of thing I say frequently

She just put it in fewer words than me...I tend to run on and on I think!

BETH-please post it! And perhaps call it: "Do you think you're ready for such a tremendous change?"

MiladyB · 12-20-2008, 09:35 PM

hehehe....Miss Phoenix you are good for my ego! But I have to disagree with you on one little point. You are far better with words than I am!

I'll make a deal with you. YOU start a thread and I'll contribute. Promise~