Still Researching - ThinnerTimes

A Subby's Wife · 05-05-2008, 08:47 PM

Hi everyone!

I am still researching WLS. I have my first consultation appointment on May 16 for the gastric bypass. I am leaning towards this, but my hubby really would like me to do the lap band.
I am just really excited about starting the initial process. I have a couple of friends that have had the gastric bypass, but I do not know anyone that has had the lap band done. My one friend had a really hard time and threw up all the time; my other friend did not have a lot of problems, but was very strict at following "all" the instruction and counseling she was given.
One of my biggest fears is how am I and my body going to react to not eating. I am scarred that mentally I won't be able to do it. I am trying to remind myself that I need to get healthy. I have been over weight since I was about 19 years, so for 20 years. I have high blood pressure, on the border for high cholestrol and possibly pre-diabetic.
Another fear I have is making sure I truly have the support of my husband. He married me at this weight and it is what he is attracted to. He does not like skinny girls, which is totally opposite of most men.

I want to make sure I am still attractive to him when I loose the weight.
I look forward to reading more on this forum and love it so far. There are many success stories out here and I hope to be that success story at this time next year.

VanessaSFL · 05-05-2008, 08:55 PM

Welcome to the forum!!

I am a "Bubble heads" daughter...is that what your user name is referring to?

Anyway...Welcome !!

A Subby's Wife · 05-05-2008, 08:59 PM

Yes Van, my husband is a bubble head. We are stationed at Kings Bay, just barely northeast of the Florida border.

VanessaSFL · 05-05-2008, 09:09 PM

I grew up in Va Beach Va, Father on subs for 26 years.He retired in 1987. He still works on Subs but designing Tech Manuals for the new class subs~ after 46 years dealing/ working with Subs you would think he would be "over it"

Again Welcome , hope you find the site helpful in your research

A Subby's Wife · 05-05-2008, 09:19 PM

I think there are just some that can not get over it. They are married to it and then there are others that walk away with no turning back. My hubby has 6 yrs before he retires, then there is no telling what he will do. He may stay and work with them and he may try to find something else. I guess we will find out when the time gets closer.

SDeRossett · 05-06-2008, 01:40 AM

Ooooo... I have lots of thoughts about this but I will only say a couple. First really talk to your husband. Find out how he's truly feeling about all of this and do some more research about what your expected out come will be. Your journey will affect so many aspects of your life and he will need to fully understand (if that's possible) to be able to support you through this. It can be a rough ride the first few months (if you choose RNY, I can't speak of the lapband as I do not know very much about it). Second, let him know that this is something you need to do for yourself to get healthy and live a longer life. I'll leave it there. Wishing you the best of luck in which ever direction you take.

Sharon

A Subby's Wife · 05-06-2008, 04:32 PM

Ms. Sharon,

Thank you so much for your comments. I am always willing to listen and learn what I can. We have talked about it several times. I just feel like he is holding something back. Maybe he isn't, I do not know. I guess time will tell as my appointments start, etc. He does agree that this is the best thing for health reasons. We would like to live a long and healthy life together and this will help me for years to come.
I am continuing to learn and will continue to read as much as I can. I really like this forum. There is a wealth of information on here and some really fabulous people. I like to read the good and the bad. So I really understand or I think I understand what I am getting my self in to.

Godsblessedme · 05-06-2008, 05:37 PM

Welcome! I think you need to make this decision for YOU. You discuss with your surgeon the pro's and con's of both surgeries and YOU make the decision. As far as your hubby not like "skinny" women it might be an insecurity issue. I never thought my husband was insecure but he would kinda sabatoge my surgery offering me junk food, pop etc. We had severe problems before my surgery and at 2 months post op, he left and moved out. I havent been happier

So please do this for you no one else

A Subby's Wife · 05-06-2008, 05:59 PM

Deborah, thanks for the words of encouragement. I do not think my hubby would try to sabarage me, I surely hope not. I think he is scared of the complications that could possibly arise. I try to remind him of the complications that could arise if I do not have it. We both know with me getting healthy, will improve many things in our lives.

I need to be comfortable with myself and I am not at this point and he understands that. Not matter what I choose in the end, he will support me through it all.

Claire-in-Texas · 05-06-2008, 06:38 PM

Mmmm, I think Sharon and I are of the same mind.....this is a life-changing event you are considering, and it WILL affect your relationships -- ALL of them. It will be so important for you to have your husband join you emotionally on this journey. Holding your hand while you do it will keep him connected to you, and that's a critical issue - staying connected emotionally.

I suggest that you get the book "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies." It will be very helpful for you as a resource.

The very best of luck to you!

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