New Birthday Tomorrow - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

Marella · 05-03-2008, 08:30 AM

Hey hey hey! Everyone!

All DID go well, but I had to have an open, plus the surgery took 6 hours. I went home Thursday because the doc thought it would be better for me. The hospital food only had vanilla Carnation Instant Breakfast and I just couldn't drink that all day.

The biggest problem I had is bloating. They thought it might be kidney problems, but a Lasik (water pill) later and it got me flowing.

I'm still bloated. Water weight gain was about 20 pounds. Heck!

Getting out of bed is the toughest -- but I've had an open belly before and I was prepared for this, so the anxiety wasn't there like after my last post-op. Neither were the complications.

I didn't need the morphine for very long -- plus, my swelling kicked my IV out and they couldn't get a new one started anywhere, so I had to switch to pills. No big deal. The pain in the back from the hospital bed was worse than the pain in the stitches.

My roomy had it done via lap. Wow, even her hair looked good the next day!

Next biggest problem: coughing... still can't get out a good one.

BUT, it's one day at a time, and with the help of an old pair of crutches, I got out of bed on my own this morning and set out to update my food-intake journal.

Cream of Wheat for breakfast! Yummy! (but I love that stuff anyway).

pebitpeb · 05-03-2008, 11:16 AM

Marella, you are so positive and it is really great to read that you are home and dealing well with everything. I am sorry to read you are having swelling, however give it time and it'll go away. The cough will come, but better wait on the good one for a little while. Before you know it you'll be back on your feet and on your way to a great wonderful new life.

Keep up the great attitude, it can be infectious here.

pebitpeb
Paul

Marella · 05-04-2008, 12:22 AM

Have any of you ever gotten irritated at the "positive" comments people try to give to you post-op?

I hated it when my husband said to me a few hours ago (while I was drizzling out the bloat), "good job, that's a few more ounces lost!".

I told him to stop it. Just because it sounds positive doesn't mean it is.

So he says, 'OK, no positive comments'.

All I say is, "repeat it to yourself first, does it really sound like a thing I'd like to hear when I'm in my current situation?"

Am I being picky?

I mean, you guys know this isn't easy, especially the first few weeks post-op of an open. Still, post-of of a lap is just as difficult because you still have to deal with the same "eating" issues. Although you want support, like, don't buy a bucket of chicken and eat it in front of me. Or don't cook that steak when I'm napping, please... at least for awhile. And say no to the 8-hour cooker because the smell makes me nauseas, type stuff.

My anxiety is all over the place, I know that, and I don't want to make this difficult on my family. I know full well the first month is the challenge of healing and change. But hey, there's got to be ways of being supportive that aren't belittling!

(BTW: I know my husband means well, he's a real sweety, we just both need a clue in this area).

pebitpeb · 05-04-2008, 06:49 AM

Marella, at this early time for me, my emotions were all over the place. I was tired from the operation. Going through the surgery was not a simple walk through the park for me. My significant other is also extremely sweet, patient and very supportive and I snapped at times like an acidic rabid dog at statements that were made that had no negativity included. I worked on it and practiced taking a breath after statements were made at times. I worked on being positive and rememberring what I was going through without feeling sorry for myself. It takes time, be gentle on yourself and the person next to you will understand and realize that it may just be the initial feelings after a long process and mixed emotions of what is happening.

pebitpeb
Paul

MiladyB · 05-04-2008, 09:57 AM

Welcome home and to the loser's side, Marella!

Paul gives excellent advice!! There are so many emotions that go on after this surgery. You are often mad that you had to come to this decision at all, you are mad that you can't eat like your head is telling you it wants to, your hormones are all over the place and you swear you are in major PMS, you hurt, it isn't easy to move around and you just want to feel better. Yep, I snapped at my DH too and certain comments irritated me though I know they were meant to be supportive, they hit me bad. Not my DH's fault really...more just what was going on with me. Sometimes I think we forget how hard this can be on our SO and we need to remember to take a deep breath and sorta let things slide. The best thing you can do is communicate how you are feeling. I cried alot that first week and the whole family wondered what they were doing wrong....I had to let them know it wasn't them at all, it was me and that I didn't always know what was wrong so don't worry about trying to "fix" the problem...just let me cry. So they did. They just politely left the room and let me bawl. *L*

It gets better, I promise...but this road isn't easy and there will be some major bumps and stumbles but every day of life is worth it!

Once again, welcome to the loser's bench!

Marella · 05-04-2008, 11:46 PM

Oh my, Paul & Beth...

I just needed to read your words right now. I can't stop crying. I don't think I ever stopped being mad at myself for having to do this in the first place! After I snap, I feel so bad and I know it's because I want my misery to have some company. Yes, you're right, in oh so many ways.

I just want that 'get up and go' feeling, I guess the visual "scale" that I'm feeling better and lost at least 1 pound instead of carrying this bloat. My hair is dirty and I can't take a bath or shower.

I know I'm only 4 days post-op, but I feel like I should be swimming oceans, not still feel like I'm beached.

I truly appreciate you sharing with me. When you know that you are not alone in your emotions, than you can overcome.

I have to share what you wrote with my husband (I got the SO, but what's a DH?) so that he knows that I'm not directing at him personally and that I'll do my best to take his support in the most positive way.

Pause, Deep breath and go ON!

Thank you! ! !

pebitpeb · 05-05-2008, 03:32 AM

Marella,
Not that this will make you feel better, but here in Italy where I had my operation it is standard that you stay in the hospital 6 - 8 days after the operation and you are served bland puree in a bowl after two days of nothing to eat or drink, then they allow water or tea(at meal time) and you are served a cereal puree. There is not bathing during this time. It is commen that you are going to feel this way for the 1st week or so, so dont expect yourself to be so energetic, take a deep breath and try to stay calm and tranquil as thinking about being energetic, taking baths/showers and knowing how much you are loosing at this point are adding unneeded stress and worry in your life at time when you need the mental energy to get back to feeling better and start walking, eating and consuming water in a short time.

Try it and see if you are not feeling better in a few days and remember breath and relax, clear your mind of the doubts and worries.

Have a great day Marella.

pebitpeb
Paul

MiladyB · 05-05-2008, 06:12 AM

Ah Marella, you're going to be fine but this first week is often known as HELL WEEK! There is a reason so many of us call it that because it is true. I don't want you to expect that after one week everything will be magically grand but I can assure you that it does get better. Please remember that you just had a major operation and you have the added pain of having it open that many of us didn't. Don't be hard on yourself take this time just for you. I'm sure it seems selfish but this HAS to be YOUR time. Take short walks in th sunshine or at least get outside and sit in a chair. Enjoy the day and all that it brings. Can you handle washing your hair at the sink? I know I'm nothing but a bitch when my hair is greasy and dirty. You should have seen me in the hospital after my plastic surgery. I finally just had enough of feeling like shit that I washed my hair in the little sink in the bathroom. It felt great! If you can't take a shower yet maybe if you can handle sitting on the edge of the tub and running some warm water. Ask your husband to help you wash your legs and feet. If he is anything like my DH (dear husband) he is feeling pretty lost right about now and just doesn't know what to do or say to help you. If you give him something to actually do for you sometimes it helps.

So anyway, sweetie, don't beat yourself up for your emotions being all over the place. It's natural and honestly expected. Just keep letting your husband know it isn't him and that he may not be able to 'fix' it right now so he doesn't need to try so hard. Just tell him this is something you need to go through for yourself but that it does get better.

Hang in there!! Remember you aren't alone in this.

Marella · 05-06-2008, 12:46 AM

Thank you both for such genuine and 'spot on' advice. I have settled in to taking it one day at a time once my swelling begin to noticeably diminish.

(In hospital they actually mentioned kidney dialysis to me and that's made me extremely anxious because another and more drastic protocol would have had to be applied if my swelling hadn't gone down by my doctor's appt which is Wednesday.)

I now can make fists. I can actually see the veins in my hands and forearms and much of my right leg. My left leg (always had bouts of edema there), is still noticeably swollen, but more walking and drinking will do the trick... I'm sure of it now (as that's the way I always handled it before).

I've been able to get out of bed unassisted: BIG PLUS ... and my hairdresser said she'd wash my hair during closing hours for me because I feel so scuzzy.

And the idea of giving my DH specific helpful tasks... well, sometimes I fall into the trap that "he should know" and you're right, he has no idea. This is actually my 11th surgery (only 1 emergency) in my 49 year lifetime and he hasn't had any, so part of me yelps in my mind, "how the heck do you know how hard it is to recover?". I don't want sympathy, I just want my one-day-at-a-time of positive losing to start. ---- So it's totally up to me to reshape my attitude. I'm the one who needs to direct him and his well-meaning spirit that either I need something specific that I can't do for myself, or I just need a hug or I guess, sometimes, to be left alone AND take what doesn't really matter with a grain of salt rather than a snipe.

Today has actually been a great day!

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