Is GBS like a tatoo on my forehead? - ThinnerTimes

Kenneth · 12-26-2007, 05:01 PM

I have been considering surgery for about the last six months. I have been reading and researching.

After reading the great amount of information in the forums, I have a question. I see that many people registered for the forum two or three years ago, posted for a while after the surgery and then stopped posting.
Do I take this as a positive sign? Do they not need any more support? Are their lives completely normal? Are they bored of this forum and have found another forum?

I know it is difficult for you posters to tell me what happened to non posters but I would like to know your feelings…at one point do people who have had the surgery see themselves a ‘normal’ and not people who have had GBS. I have broken many bones in my body and spent a lot of time recovering from the breaks, but I do not perceive myself as someone who has recovered from fractures.

Will the surgery always define my life????

Vim&Vigour · 12-26-2007, 05:36 PM

Hello Kenneth!

Welcome to our wonderful Forum - this is a real family home!
I am only 3 weeks post surgery. However, how I see my surgery is that I look to this Forum for support for myself in my wls journey and am thrilled if I have any experience that I can share.
The people on here are all in a similar situation, as if consulting a whole team of "experts". Warts and all are discussed here with "virtual" strangers but who have true insiders' knowledge. Those who have disappeared are the cyclists who have managed to cycle off without stabilisers, taken the highway code and may even have taken themselves off on cycling expeditions. Those cyclists will always be interested in what/who is coming up behind them, trying to pick up tips and tricks to improve their own excellent performance as procedures evolve... Even if you drive a car you are thrilled with and that has been reliable for you, you'll no doubt always enjoy looking at a superior car or watch the revised lines of a simpler model which also has its merits.
I discussed my intended wls with only my inner core of reliable friends. Once I had taken my decision to proceed, I told all my supporters. To all other individuals, I only tell on a "need to know" basis.
I'm 50 years old, more than half way through my life. This surgery will carry its impact to the end of my days. As a self-pay, I have spent a damn lot of money on it, I have "invested" heavily into my future - I'll be looking for life-long payback and interest!
The physical scars will take a matter of months to heal. The emotional scars will stay life-long. I will have unwitting reminders of my "past", people I'll encounter who'll "remember' me as I was (am) before... Those are "fractures" of my Life. But those flaws have nothing to do with my surgery. Surgery was a technique for me to solve that past "luggage' I have spent the better part of my life trailing after me. I am the same book, not a new chapter but rather a new volume of the same work...
You could call it a new identity, made up of familiar ingredients. If you were to move, once slimmed down, to a totally new area and never discuss your "previous" weight, nobody would know unless you told them. You could chose to "hide" the fat side if you wanted or not....
25 years ago I married my first cousin. The fact that we were cousins was very much at the forefront of my mind for a good 10 years... Today, the fact that we are cousins is a topic that falls very low down in our conversation with new encounters. In 25 years we have built up a wealth of other experiences which are far greater in interest or importance to the fact that we are related. Our priorities have shifted as our experiences have developed. Cousinhood is incidental to the overall picture.
I can imagine my wls to develop on similar lines... The next 5 years I'll no doubt be very aware of my surgery and tell the world about it... Thereafter, transformed by the weight off, newly acquired pursuits, exercise regime, the focus will change to my new life occupations...
Do you remember how dominant your first job(s) was at the time? Now that very job is somewhere in the basement of your experiences....
Have you ever lost someone special? Did you ever grieve and mourn? Loss hurts, you learn to live without the beloved and gradually life takes on a new, normal course of activity, without that person, yet never forgetting him/her either... I would suggest that your weight loss surgery and journey would be pretty close to that...
Long winded, but.. I hope you'll find your own answer and confidence.
You'll be fine!
Cheers!
Vim

flyerzfan17 · 12-26-2007, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenneth

Will the surgery always define my life????

I really couldn't tell you why some people post for awhile and then decide to move on. Your new pouch will only be a tool and you need to work it everyday to make the surgery work for you. You'll need to be mindful of what you eat and how much you eat. In not doing so, you can make yourself sick, to the point of vomiting. You will need to make the right choices in food, especially if you wind up being someone whose new pouch can tolerate most foods. So, yes, the surgery will always define your life to a degree.

PennyJ · 12-26-2007, 05:48 PM

Ok, not sure I'm as long term as you're looking for..but I'm 14+ months post op, so hopefully you might get a little bit of an answer from me. First off, the deciding phase of GBS - you need info, and lots of it!! So you're here allllllll the time absorbing as much data as you can to learn and decide what surgery, or if surgery, is right for you. Then the application/insurance phase. Can take a long time and you're here asking questions, relating your "ordeal", and finally celebrating your win and getting your date. Then surgery, Hell week, recovery, any complications, weight loss, stalls, goals, stalls, exercise, protein, etc. There's still a lot to learn here!! Well, then a year or more out, you reach your goal and start to stabilize. Then you realize, you don't have any more questions. You offer advice to the new folks for a while, but then you've answered the same questions 50 times (and thank God for those of you that do!!!!). And you drift away. There's no new, no wow moments, life becomes....normal. Well, as normal as we can. Even my doctor, at the last appointment, told me..."It's time to move on. You're not the fat girl anymore, you're not the recovering girl anymore, you're not the patient anymore. You need to move on to "Life". Get out there and live life. So, I guess that's my explaination. I hope it helps, even if I'm only 14 months or so out! And to those of you long timers, THANK YOU, thank you, from the bottom of my heart for being there as you are, for everyone!

Vim&Vigour · 12-26-2007, 05:54 PM

PennyJ!
Excellent reply! It should belong as necessary info for Newbies - you have put it all in a nutshell! Many thanks!
Cheers!
Vim

Kenneth · 12-26-2007, 08:33 PM

Thanks for the replies.

life becomes....normal. Well, as normal as we can.

I guess that is what I am asking. How normal is normal.

My wife is a vegiterian, but we never consider it. Only if we are in a restaurant that has nothing vegitarian on the menu do we even think about it.

I do not drink milk because I am lactose intolerant. I never think 'I am drinking my coffee black because I get the farts if I add cream'.

Will my eating habits ever become that normal?

I understand there will always be some sort of restraint. Even now I control my eating. If I ate whatever and whenever I wanted I could easily be double the weight I am now.

Will eating always be a constant reminder of the surgery?

2Bhealthy · 12-26-2007, 10:05 PM

I think your behavior just changes till you get very used to it. Just like the vegetarian or the lactose intolerance. You will of course remember if you dump! For me I just naturally gravitate toward healthier foods now. I like it better than the junk. I am over 2 yrs out now and find myself posting less and less. At some point most of the info becomes repetitive, however the people are nice and I check back frequently even if I don't post.

Omaha Jim · 12-28-2007, 03:29 PM

Kenneth,

Welcome.

I don't ever want to be normal. Normal has people in debt up to their eyeballs, unhappy and depressed. I have been lucky enough not to let my obesity define me, and the GBS will not define me. The GBS and results of the GBS, will now have a partial control of the way I choose to live my life, but it is my heart and soul that will continue to define me. Sure I have had limitations from my obesity, but I am still successful at my job, with a great family and with my God - therefore, I am successful in life - fat or not. I just want to live to see my grandkids become parents. So I chose this surgery, not to define me, but to better control and define my future.

I hope many here have similiar thoughts, the surgery and requirements of the surgery is consuming and defining for some, but I think I would put that in the distinct minority. Good Luck!

Claire-in-Texas · 12-28-2007, 03:41 PM

Kenneth, welcome to the TT fo rum!

I understand very well your question, and it is a point well taken.

You can see my stats in my signature line, and also my age to the left. Keep this in mind as you read my own spin on this.

Some people are students, and some people are teachers, and some people are both. The long-timers on here were students (as you are now), and became teachers by virtue of their experience and knowledge in order to stay connected to their journey. These students/teachers/longtimers are very normal, living normal lives, with a new kind of normal eating pattern. I know of no one here who I would consider is defined by his/her weight loss journey/experience. It is part of them, but they have moved on in many ways, all the while having a teaching role for others here.

The students who are not teachers have no interest in being teachers (no ill intent here - it's just the way it is), and have moved on. Not all people have a permanent interest in forums.

Speaking personally, I have had the ride of my life, and it continues. However, I am not defined by my weight loss journey. On the contrary, it has brought out the authentic me, the person I truly am that was hiding behind many layers of fat. When I meet people who never knew me any differently, I don't mention the surgery or my journey - no need. However, when I meet up with people who knew me before and are in shock, I am happy to be a semi-teacher, explaining my journey very proudly.

In terms of my own "normal," I am new on the outside, and renewed on the inside - my NEW kind of normal - yes, very normal.

VanessaSFL · 12-28-2007, 03:48 PM

Three years post op in March and I am still here.

Welcome to the forum.