Cape Town Chick - ThinnerTimes

Lovetoday · 07-30-2007, 04:14 AM

Hi there,
I am seeing my surgeon for the first time tomorrow.... Am very nervous

I have done three years of research before making the final decision..
Will let you know how it goes tomorrow.
So glad to see there is a site like this out there as have been very nervous.

Have you guys told everyone when you went for your op? I feel so ashamed that I have to resort to WLS and cannot do it on my own by sheer will power... that I am considering telling people that I am having a hysterectomy... but I live in SA.. people will start to think I have AIDS

Gwen · 07-30-2007, 05:01 AM

Hi Cape Town Chick

Welcome to the board!!!

So nice to have another SAFFER (South African) joining the family!

I think it depends on who you are, whether you will tell anybody that you are going for the surgery.....

I am telling anybody, that stands still long enough to have a conversation with, about my decision - I have never been one to try and hide things, as I don't have a good short term memory and might just get caught out (I'll forget who I told and who not and then put my foot in it

) and I think that will be more embarrassing!!!

So far I've had mixed reactions - some people think it's drastic (and said so) others probably think it is the easy way out (no one has said it to my face but I know better) and others understand completely and are very supportive - usually the "sisters-in-flab"

I do know, however, that many people do NOT owe up to the surgery - my ex has only told a couple of people and is in complete denial (it took me ages to get it out of him) and you'll see many anonymous people, even here on this friendly forum

I personally think that if more people are open about it, especially here in the UK and in SA where the procedures are still in infancy (compared to the USA), then there will be less of a stigma in years to come....

Good luck with your journey!!!

Lovetoday · 07-30-2007, 05:09 AM

Hi- glad to see a reply.. almost thought I might have the plague being from SA... then I remembered the time difference.

Maybe as it becomes a reality I will tell more people. A girl I work with recently went for the op- told all and sundry and I heard mostly good things behind her back but there were some snippy comments.

Previously when I joined Weigh Less or Weight Watchers I use to get so upset with the "thinnies" that had to lose a kilo or two and I have to lose like almost 2 people...

I'm also very concerned about all the things I will never be able to eat again.. like Butternut soup( because of all the cream) and a Bacon and egg breakfast or go to a braai! with real lamb chops... but I guess thin people don't plan their lives that way and I just have to do the mind set adjustment.

A thread I really found very helpful was the one where it starts.." you know someone has had WLS when..." Made me smile. I can do Kiddie portions!

You haven't had your surgery yet?

Gwen · 07-30-2007, 06:25 AM

Why do you think you won't be able to eat a lamb chop again? I understood that as long as it doesn't have any fat on it, it should be OK - you can always cut the fat off?

I must admit that the worry about not being able to eat certain foods is also one of my main concerns, but hey I would rather have "the body" than "the food"

- Oh the joy of being able to shop in a normal size clothing shop!!!!

Getting back to your question about whether to tell people or not - I believe in educating people and when I told a friend back in SA (she is probably an American size 0) and then received a call from her a couple of evenings later to confront me, together with some of her skinny friends listening in on the call via the speakerphone and throwing in their pennies worth of comments, I left them with the following thoughts:

1. I am a food addict and I've tried everything - I have achieved professional and personal success in all other aspects of my life but I need help with this one.... When I confronted them with other "illnesses" that needs intervention, i.e. depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, anorexia, bullimia, etc (which I knew some of them suffered from) and asked them to explain the difference in why they think it is OK to treat those but not obesity, they were quiet...

2. If you put the two things on a scale to compare:

On the one side:

a. The possibilities of me ending up with high blood pressure & heart disease (possibly ending in a stroke or heart attack);

b. Type 2 diabetes (and everything that goes hand in hand with that);

c. All the cancers that are lurking out there, which becomes more of a risk when you are morbidly obese;

d. Impaired mobility

e. Depression, etc, etc

and on the other hand:

a "drastic" operation to prevent me from eating myself to an early grave, taking into account all that can go wrong, but being responsible about using your pouch as a tool and not misusing it and making sure that you take the correct vitamin and mineral supplements, then really for me it is a no-brainer....

At the end of a 45 min conversation the "skinnies" all understood the reasoning behind my decision, some of them still didn't agree (those in denial and with a superiority complex), but at least all of them got a good earfull and all of them wished me good luck

LyndasRoom · 07-30-2007, 09:29 AM

Hi Cape Town Chick!
Welcome...yep, your lack of response so far definitely has to do with the time difference! I'm with Gwen, and am one of those who tells anyone who will stand still. I'm proud that I'm doing this for my health. I'll even show you my tiny little scars! Good luck with your meeting with your surgeon today, we look forward to following your progress!

JenBear7 · 07-30-2007, 10:40 AM

WElcome to the board...

Sometimes we sleep over here *wink*. I too am one that shouts it from the roof tops. I dont see how you can feel ashamed to have to "resort" to wls.... You should be PROUD of your decision to literally take your own life in your hands... and improve it, save it even.

Grats on taking the step to have the surgery.. I hope you find peace with your decision.. it sounds as if it bothers you as much as you are worried about it bothering others...

Best of luck to you... keep us posted!

Robin W · 07-30-2007, 11:30 AM

My thoughts on this are, I don't care what other people think. If they are someone who knows me well enough, then they know I did not choose WLS lightheartedly. I've found that those people who really care and have concerns about my decision have discussed it with me and either understood that this IS the best path for ME or agreed to disagree and support me regardless of their opinion. If they're not someone who's opinion matters to me, then I just don't care what they think. Life's too short to waste time and energy on worrying about what others think. You have to know that you're doing what's best for you and exude that energy. Maybe I'm lucky in the friends I've chosen, but I've only gotten positive feedback and support. I wish it could be the same for you.

KarenInKali · 07-30-2007, 03:02 PM

First off, welcome!!! Now, as for telling folks - my mom and a couple of friends, and our chaplin as we are in counseling at the moment - are the only ones who know what I am contemplating. A couple of reasons I haven't told everyone - I already get people who tell me I don't need to lose weight - so I know if they knew I was thinking about surgery they would definitely have something to say. Also, since I'm just in the beginning stages, there's no reason to get everyone worked up - I'm going to wait until right before surgery to start telling people, and then, I don't care who knows

Lovetoday · 07-31-2007, 01:07 AM

Hi all, thank you so much for all the support. Hell yeah I think it is bothering me a bit. I have a very good self image and have achieved success through out my life. So why can't I do the dieting thing?

Reading this forum has made me smile and has just cemented my resolve.
I'm now only scared the surgeon will say no.....