Sorry but you've gotten fatter, no surgery for you - Page 7 - ThinnerTimes

Grammy O · 03-13-2008, 06:52 AM

I totally agree Amanda!

Gwen · 03-13-2008, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amandazon247

Being honest and blunt is one thing....just being mean and nasty is another.. sometimes its not so much what you say but how you say it .

Well said Amanda!

XXX

jerseygrl684 · 03-13-2008, 04:40 PM

im still apparently a biatch. lol.

this girl is just nuts. im sorry.. this is the 2nd sn she made up OBVIOUSLY. and it is kinda sad. Point blank, if you want it hard enough... you will make some kinda effort.. whether it be 2 or 20 lbs.. your doc wanted you to lose it and you didnt.

i am not being mean at all. god. If i wanted to be mean, you would know it. and personally i would never do that. I was 248 lbs in june.. im 170 now... in no way shape or form am i done losing... and i am not 'skinny'. i went through this....

Godsblessedme · 03-13-2008, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Maybe no one sees what I am saying

Amanda I totally agree i see what your saying.

pgh3rivers · 03-13-2008, 10:19 PM

I never expected this link to become so hot. Truly I just wanted to connect with others who struggled with weight gain before surgery. I still do.

I posted the following this evening, you can love it or hate it:

The following is my original post:

SO this is my problem. I have gained weight during the 6 months of nutirtional classes.The weight management center told me today they won't even submit me to the insurance company unless I can lose 10 pounds because I will be turned down. I started at 247 and am now weigh 262. Has anyone else had this happen? I can't believe 15 pounds will keep me from having surgery.

I feel rotten about this!

That was my original post. It has caused a $#i! storm. After several responses from other users I removed my post. I felt that several people who responded were not sensitive to the specific problem that I was struggling with and I was not comfortable with my original post being available for all readers. Because of the high amount of people who messaged me privately because they too has struggled with gaining weight before surgery, I felt it was important that I repost the original question.

When I posted my original question, I wanted to connect with other's who were struggling with weight gain during the 6 months of supervised diet. I was NOT looking for comments from people who did not know why or how I had gained weight. To make it clear to everyone I did diet and exercise. I gained weight following the program. You can say that's bull but prior to entering the 6 m of supervised diet and nutrition I was taking meridia and orlistat. I was fat, my blood pressure was sky high and I had been on a low calorie diet for months. I decided to follow the program and I gained weight on it right away.

To be clear- I did not remove the original post because I am sensitive. I was FURIOUS more than anything. I was furious that I had other people message me privately because they felt they could not truthfully post because they did not want to be bullied, judged, or belittled by other members.

I was furious that I was followed from board to board by some people. I removed my post and stopped posting to prevent myself from saying something nasty and hurtful to some of the people who had responded to my post.

In my opinion being honest and being a self declared bitch are two very different things. I don't have to become accustom to anything on this forum. I will not accept that it is ever appropriate to speak to people without respect. I am going to try my hardest to be cautious, truthful, caring, and supportive whenever I possibly can on this forum.

What I have learned from all of this is how to block some users. I highly suggest learning how to use this function. We are all very different people. Despite all having WLS (or thinking about it) our paths to surgery and after will not be the same. I expect to find many people that I relate to and connect with on this forum. I don't expect to connect with everyone. I am so glad I learned to block users, because now I don't have to deal with them. I believe that is a loss to them. I have a lot to offer others who respect me, ask questions, and don't jump to negative uneducated conclusions about me.

This is a forum for support. People should lighten up and be sensitive to others no matter where they are in the journey.

jerseygrl684 · 03-14-2008, 04:41 AM

let me say something right now, since i feel the need to have to defend myself constantly about this ONE person/subject. In my 6 months on this board, i have never had to encounter this personally, but i am sure others have. My delivery of how i said it should have been differently, yes.. but the message is still the same. DO NOT VALIDATE what you did. you want some kind of reward for gaining weight pre-op? Yes, others have done it, but they have learned from it. They didn't go around.. calling me a bitch and making up other screen names. They didn't take up actual postings to write all about me.

honestly, we all come here for help and advice. Whether it's to give or get. I'm not saying my road has been easy here.. I still have tonssssssss of body / medical issues.. i come here for the support that this forum offers. I also give support and give my opinion. I AM SORRY IF YOU DID NOT AGREE WITH MY OPINION ON YOUR SITUTATION. Not everyone is going to agree, not everyone is going to tell you how i told you, but hopefully you learn something from it.

I had people private message me, i had people stick up for me, hell i had people message me when you went on a psychotic rant about me. DID I FEEL THE NEED TO POST THAT UNTIL NOW, NO. There was no need to air my business out like that to feel better about myself. Maybe you work that way, but I know that i do not need to stoop that low.

lettttt ittttttt go. I am very much so sick of seeing you post about me. You claim you are using the ignore feature, but i highly doubt that you are. I am not this horrid, evil person. Some people may not like how i said it, but you arent going to get an entire forum to hate me, so if that is your intention i recommend stopping while you are ahead honey. I gave you an opinion that you didn't like and you snapped. If we all had the same thoughts/opinions.. it would be a pretty crappy world.

hopefully this is the last i write about this. get some tougher skin, because if you think i am harsh.... reality and the outisde world is 10 xs worse honey.

Zenomia · 03-14-2008, 11:15 AM

Well, everyone including me, has posted about this and made their opinions clear. Now, lets let it go and move on. Neither of you are going to hold hands and start singing "Kumbya" together...nor are you going to change each others behaviors. So...Move on. There is no point hashing this out further with more and more people jumping up and getting their panties in a bunch for either side. Those who know me, know where I stand...and it really doesn't matter anymore. We have had our say, agreements won't be made. Move forward. There are people out there who need us to respond honestly to other posts. <<My 10 cents...my two cents is FREE>> Z

BillH · 03-14-2008, 12:41 PM

AMEN TO ZEN!!!! Although the image of all of us singing Kum-by-yah around a campfire gave me a chuckle! NO S'mores!!!! (Unless made with protein!)
Enough already!
BillH

brandyII · 04-02-2008, 03:10 PM

pgh3rivers,

I think most of the encounters I've had on this forum and others have been fairly supportive and informative although once in awhile a few who I call "former smokers" show up and are pretty condescending. I've been around those types of people my whole life and have kind of learned to blow them off because they're too into their own little world to be able to actually reach out to others.

You can get messages across to people without being condescending and I think more people should take it to heart and think about what and how they say things to people before they do.

I have lost and gained 100 pounds twice in my life and now am struggling with the lap band and have myself gained back most of the weight I lost prior to surgery which was eight months ago. Fat cells shrink but you don't lose them and they're there I guess forever unless they're sucked out. Even if I got down to my "fighting weight" again I'd never be so pretentious to say "I'd never gain it back again because blah, blah, blah...." I just hope to God those "former smokers" themselves never gain back their weight because this will be the first place they come back crying and maybe they'll be treated poorly on the forum as you were. Best of luck to you and all, brandyII.

RebeccaNV · 04-02-2008, 06:23 PM

All I have to say is HOLY C**P!

How many ppl here have gained weight (before you had your tool) due to stress and anxiety? I am just begining exploring gastric bypass but I can imagine that for some, being told that they have to lose weight FOR A LIFE CHANGING MAJOR SURGERY might cause them a little bit of stress and in turn have them turning to the only comfort that they may have ever known, food. I am not saying this was the reasoning for the OP's weight gain, but if it is, I for one can understand.

And now that I am FURIOUS about the behaviors I have encountered on this thread, I want to go and eat icecream.