That's right. I had my surgery on May 23, 2001. I always get asked what have I learned.
Life is messy. Bring a roll of paper towels. lol
Seriously its been quite the ride. I have learned that it's not genetics that made me obese. Just plain old poor choices and not caring. I gott come clean on a few things tho. I've really done well with this WLS thing. Regular life not too bad but there has been one issue that has always haunted me. Like I said I've done well. People look up to me a lot and I help them where I can. I get all these comments how I'm so together and all that. I always feel like a fraud because I don't feel like I'm all that. I just listen and learn then I pass it on. More than anything I'm just afraid to be a miserable fatman again. I've got this child abuse issue that has followed me my whole life. Still get nightmares from it. I still see the beatings vividly like it happened yesterday. I can remember what my father was wearing and the look on his face. I can still remember thinking to myself don't move, don't move or it'll be worse. I remember all the blood. I still can't figure out how blod can come flying out of the body like that. I have always just tucked it away as "in the past" and tried to bury it. I never wanted people to think I was "damaged goods" or on the edge of some kind of shooting spree because it's never the case. I also never want people to see the troubled side of me. Sometimes the issue doesn't bother me for a couple of years. Other times it seems like I can't shake it and its always on my mind. I always hated it. When it's on my mind I don't trust people you know? Anyway I just recently started dealing with in the last month. Going to counseling and group. Nice people there. People that have been thru much more than I have yet have so much love in them. People that have been dealing with it and helping others. They just glow... that's the only way I can describe it. It's really given me something already. I don't really know what it is.. Hope? Relief? All of the above? It has given me peace tho. I can sleep now. My mind has calmed down a lot. If you have some past issues I really encourage you to get some help for it. WLS isn't the cure for all your problems. It's a start tho.
Take care peeps. Love you guys.
Ed
Edited to add: A full body shot would probably be better but.. Here's a headshot. 5 years out and 178 pounds. Down from 448.
I'm 5 years old today
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