Please tell me if I would be out of line? - ThinnerTimes

Kristen · 01-19-2006, 02:54 PM

Hi, Guys & Gals,

I need some advice. I am not sure if what I would like to do would be out of line.

As some of you might remember I started my new job back in August, I truly feel like someone was looking out for me when this opportunity fell into my lap as I love it, and the people I work with. They are just really good people to work with and for. We are a smaller company so you have the day to day challenges of that but nothing that wouldn't be expected. Since we are a small company family and health truly comes first here. If you are sick they want you to take care of yourself first and work second. If you have a sick child the same thing.

This was never more apparent to me during my time off for my hernia repair sugery. I will be forever thankful, they have been so incredibly supportive.

My situation is that my co-worker brings his children (5 and 7) into work when they can't go to daycare because they are too sick. Now I don't have any children so maybe I am looking at this the wrong way, I am trying to really be open minded. However I can't understand why someone would bring the child into work with them, if they are sick they should be home being taken care of not at the office where they can make others sick.

Right now my immune system is shot and after my surgery the last thing I need is to get sick with a cold where I am coughing a bunch and putting pressure on my wounds. I know I could get sick from touching something a complete stranger touched but I'd like to keep my exposure as minimal as possible. Since we are a small company we also can't really afford to have a bunch of people out sick, there would be too much work.

I really feel like someone should say something to him but I don't want to be out of line or offend him although I don't think there is a way around it.

Any advice or anyone have to deal with this situation before? If so how did you handle it?

Thanks for any insight,

Kristen

Bypassingme619 · 01-19-2006, 03:19 PM

Well like you I don't have children. Now is he an only parent, is that why he brings the children to work with him? I know some place you are not allowed to have your children at work for legal and insurance purposes. Is this person approachable? How does your boss feel about the situation? This could be a touchy subject to address with a co-worker mainly because it involves his children. I honestly don't have any great advice but maybe you could adress the issue with your supervisor and see where he/she stands. I hope it all gets cleared up, sounds like you have a great job.

bridgetgirl · 01-19-2006, 03:31 PM

I would say your worried chicken. Especially how recently post op you are n stuff. I cant bring my kids to work under any circumstances..... you should say something, although the kids and the germs are there already....
(( HUGS Toots))

botchy · 01-19-2006, 04:25 PM

I have to carry on where Bridget left off. THe germs are already there. Ppl tend to be a little touchy when it comes to their kids. I know I am. If this guy is bringing his kids to work instead of staying home with them he may already be a little tense. Kind of feeling like he can't leave his responsibilities even to take care of his children.....
Then again maybe this really isn't allowed at your workplace. It's a big no no at mine.... Can you discreetly talk to asupervisor?

Kristen · 01-19-2006, 04:34 PM

I guess I am at a loss here. At work if we are even stuffy they want us to go home and take care of ourselves instead of making everyone else ill. I guess I don't understand how it would be different for him to bring in the children.

I wouldn't bring my fiance to work with me if he was ill.

He can also work from home which he's done in the past (co worker that is). I feel like a heel for feeling this way, it's not that I don't like the kids or anything, I just feel bad for them (how can they rest a work by laying on daddy's office floor) and for the others who get exposed to the colds etc.

Bridgette, you are so right, I am really sensitive after my surgery, I guess I just don't want any set backs and want to get back to feeling better and like myself.

I am propably super sensitive right now, I am still paranoid when walking around in a store after being hit by someone at costco with their cart the week after surgery.

I guess part of me feels it's irresponsible of him to bring the kids in when sick. I don't care if they come in when they are well. They are nice kids and I like them.

I feel like a bad person right now.

Kristen

Mavisavis · 01-19-2006, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristen

Hi, Guys & Gals,

I need some advice. I am not sure if what I would like to do would be out of line.

As some of you might remember I started my new job back in August, I truly feel like someone was looking out for me when this opportunity fell into my lap as I love it, and the people I work with. They are just really good people to work with and for. We are a smaller company so you have the day to day challenges of that but nothing that wouldn't be expected. Since we are a small company family and health truly comes first here. If you are sick they want you to take care of yourself first and work second. If you have a sick child the same thing.

This was never more apparent to me during my time off for my hernia repair sugery. I will be forever thankful, they have been so incredibly supportive.

My situation is that my co-worker brings his children (5 and 7) into work when they can't go to daycare because they are too sick. Now I don't have any children so maybe I am looking at this the wrong way, I am trying to really be open minded. However I can't understand why someone would bring the child into work with them, if they are sick they should be home being taken care of not at the office where they can make others sick.

Right now my immune system is shot and after my surgery the last thing I need is to get sick with a cold where I am coughing a bunch and putting pressure on my wounds. I know I could get sick from touching something a complete stranger touched but I'd like to keep my exposure as minimal as possible. Since we are a small company we also can't really afford to have a bunch of people out sick, there would be too much work.

I really feel like someone should say something to him but I don't want to be out of line or offend him although I don't think there is a way around it.

Any advice or anyone have to deal with this situation before? If so how did you handle it?

Thanks for any insight,

Kristen

I know this might not be the answer that others would give or agree with...........but I would invest in some good antibacterial soap, hand sanitizer, and disinfectant wipes, stay out of their sweet/sick little faces, and bring them a comfy little roll up bed and chicken soup so I felt better about them being at work all day.

I have this big thing with loyalty and wouldn't want to end up ruining what has been a good thing overall for everyone. In these situations it usually seems when someone kicks up dust they end up just not doing the extras for anyone anymore and you lose that family feel and turn it back to strictly business.

But you know the situation and people best, so hopefully you'll find a way to resolve things without making waves. I hope you feel totally back to yourself soon!

Gina in NY · 01-19-2006, 05:10 PM

Does your co-worker know you had surgery? Does he know your immune system is challenged right now? You might drop THE BIG HINT. "Oh - I'd love to do such and such, but I'm too afraid of getting sick - I just had surgery you know and (the killer) MY DOCTOR TOLD ME to stay away from people with colds." You can think of something more creative than that, but you get the idea. He may just be thinking of himself and has forgotten your situation.

Also, I have brought my son to work briefly when he has been sick, but I avoid it at all costs. I only do it when he's started anti-biotics for example and isnt' contageous, but has not gone 48 hours w/o a fever. (You're suppose to wait that long before you send them back to school)

You could always try talking to him in a very appologetic way about it, something like, "I am so sorry to bring this up, but you know I just had surgery, and my doctor has told me to stay away from people with colds and avoid getting sick at all costs. Your kids are so sweet and well behaved, but if there is any chance they are contageous, you must let me know so I can wear a surgical mask". This way, you are not suggesting he change, you are blaming the doctor and you are offering to make the adjustment. Now if he's a bit of a jerk, he'll buy you a few cases of surgical masks, at which point you go to your boss, but if he's a nice guy, he'll read between the lines.

Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree. I had a similar situation with someone who was bringing their dog to work - and I had to tell the whole story about how terribly allergic my husband is to dogs, and how we had to get a hypo-allergenic dog etc. etc. She got the message and never treated me like I was being a jerk, even though she had to leave her fluff ball at home.

Good luck!

coptergirl · 01-19-2006, 07:20 PM

I agree with Gina. It might create waves if you go above him, but if you go directly to him in an apologetic, non-threatening,and humble manner, hopefully he will be reasonable enough to read between the lines. He may still bring his kids, but at least he will know to contain them somehow.
I work at a small company too, and a few people will bring in their kids. One has had her son there for 2 days because he is sick. Connor is a sweetie and came into my office a couple of times, and inwardly I cringed because I want to take NO chances of getting sick between now and my surgery, but I felt uncomfortable bringing it up with mom.

Best of luck to you - please do keep us posted

onell · 01-19-2006, 09:20 PM

I would not approach him unless you guys are close friends. I think you should express your concerns to your mananger. You mananger should be reponsible, talking to the employees about work environment issues. If he can work at home, he is not losing money ($ is a sensitive subject) and his kids will heal faster and be more comfortable. There does not seem to be any reason to needless expose everyone at work. But since they are already there....... wash you hands, wash your hands, wash your hands. Tell the kids that they have to sing a song and can't stop washing their hands till the song is over.

looking ahead · 01-20-2006, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristen

Hi, Guys & Gals,

I need some advice. I am not sure if what I would like to do would be out of line.

As some of you might remember I started my new job back in August, I truly feel like someone was looking out for me when this opportunity fell into my lap as I love it, and the people I work with. They are just really good people to work with and for. We are a smaller company so you have the day to day challenges of that but nothing that wouldn't be expected. Since we are a small company family and health truly comes first here. If you are sick they want you to take care of yourself first and work second. If you have a sick child the same thing.

This was never more apparent to me during my time off for my hernia repair sugery. I will be forever thankful, they have been so incredibly supportive.

My situation is that my co-worker brings his children (5 and 7) into work when they can't go to daycare because they are too sick. Now I don't have any children so maybe I am looking at this the wrong way, I am trying to really be open minded. However I can't understand why someone would bring the child into work with them, if they are sick they should be home being taken care of not at the office where they can make others sick.

Right now my immune system is shot and after my surgery the last thing I need is to get sick with a cold where I am coughing a bunch and putting pressure on my wounds. I know I could get sick from touching something a complete stranger touched but I'd like to keep my exposure as minimal as possible. Since we are a small company we also can't really afford to have a bunch of people out sick, there would be too much work.

I really feel like someone should say something to him but I don't want to be out of line or offend him although I don't think there is a way around it.

Any advice or anyone have to deal with this situation before? If so how did you handle it?

Thanks for any insight,

Kristen

For what it's worth and I do have children......I feel like if the child is too sick to go to school he/she is also too sick to be brought to the work place. I really think it's kinda rude. Makes me think this man is not very considerate of other people's health.