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holly1885 · 11-09-2005, 08:43 PM

ok so this is another one of my stupid problems with relationships haha... it seems im always whining on here... im sorry yall! i just wanna know if anyone has any advice on repairing relationships. like for example, things with me and my boyfriend of a year and a half havent been too great lately. we've been arguing alot (well ive been arguing and hes been listening.. he never seems to get mad). and this past weekend was really bad, i went down to see him (7 hour drive) this weekend and a whole bunch of crappy stuff happend and we ended up fighting all weekend. i feel so riddiculously bad and i want to repair it. like i mean i even was like " i cant keep doing this, we should break up" and thats NOT what i want.. i dont know why i said it. and he was like "no, thats the last thing in the world i want. i want this to work, im not giving up" and all this.. it was actually pretty sweet. but im still not really happy after this weekend and everything... i want to put it behind me but i keep being bummed out. I want to fix this, I love him more than i could ever imagine, so i want this to work... any ideas??

Bypassingme619 · 11-09-2005, 08:52 PM

Holly are you dealing with a lot of emotional or any stressful events pop-up in your life lately? Maybe there is a lot of misplaced anger. Holly if you really want to make this work maybe find some couple counseling. I hope all works out for you two, you seem so bummed about it. Take it one day at a time. Big Hugs to you.

rodnunley · 11-09-2005, 08:52 PM

I hate to be the bearer of bad news...but long distance relationships NEVER work.

SDphotogrl99 · 11-09-2005, 08:53 PM

Well what are the issues.....What are you fighting about? Gotta know the problem to help solve it

Baron Patrick · 11-09-2005, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodnunley

I hate to be the bearer of bad news...but long distance relationships NEVER work.

I dunno 'bout that!

My wife and I began as pen-pals (she's from the Philippines).

I proposed to her over the phone. I flew over and we were married after being physically together only 4 days.

We have a wonderful 17 year old son (going on 30), and April we celebrate 20 years together!

My co-workers think I'm an anomoly as the majority have been divorced, and the rest have been married under 7 years!

rodnunley · 11-09-2005, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron Patrick

I dunno 'bout that!

My wife and I began as pen-pals (she's from the Philippines).

I proposed to her over the phone. I flew over and we were married after being physically together only 4 days.

We have a wonderful 17 year old son (going on 30), and April we celebrate 20 years together!

My co-workers think I'm an anomoly as the majority have been divorced, and the rest have been married under 7 years!

But once you met, you were together. What you had was a courtship. Then you began a relationship in the same place.

holly1885 · 11-09-2005, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDphotogrl99

Well what are the issues.....What are you fighting about? Gotta know the problem to help solve it

Its kind of a lot of things... I think its mostly me being insecure and emotional. Like I feel sometimes like hes in the relationship and he cares but hes not really emotionally attatched or whatever. Its kinda weird. But I also think that a lot of this is me being emotional. Ive asked before about if I should tlak to my doc about going back on Zoloft, I just havent gotten around to actually doing that... I think that I should probablly do that ASAP. Also, I mean I dont really understand much of the hispanic culture, someone tell me if its normal for hispanic girls to kiss their guy friends on the cheek when they meet them. That is partly what this has to do with... Im not around people like that and never have been and I dont really like the idea of these girls kissing my boyfriend! Is that crazy or understandable?? I really dont know.

Thanks for all your positive feedback. As for the negative, Ill just chose to ignore it right now because I cant really handle more negative in my life right now.

holly1885 · 11-09-2005, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron Patrick

I dunno 'bout that!

My wife and I began as pen-pals (she's from the Philippines).

I proposed to her over the phone. I flew over and we were married after being physically together only 4 days.

We have a wonderful 17 year old son (going on 30), and April we celebrate 20 years together!

My co-workers think I'm an anomoly as the majority have been divorced, and the rest have been married under 7 years!

I think that is a WONDERFULLY romantic story!! Thank you so much for sharing that because it gives me a little hope! Thank you! And congrats on being married so long, its nice to see people actually stay together nowadays. Good job!

SDphotogrl99 · 11-09-2005, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by holly1885

Its kind of a lot of things... I think its mostly me being insecure and emotional. Like I feel sometimes like hes in the relationship and he cares but hes not really emotionally attatched or whatever. Its kinda weird. But I also think that a lot of this is me being emotional. Ive asked before about if I should tlak to my doc about going back on Zoloft, I just havent gotten around to actually doing that... I think that I should probablly do that ASAP. Also, I mean I dont really understand much of the hispanic culture, someone tell me if its normal for hispanic girls to kiss their guy friends on the cheek when they meet them. That is partly what this has to do with... Im not around people like that and never have been and I dont really like the idea of these girls kissing my boyfriend! Is that crazy or understandable?? I really dont know.

Thanks for all your positive feedback. As for the negative, Ill just chose to ignore it right now because I cant really handle more negative in my life right now.

Well I can understand part of that. I am a very touchy feely person too and I want my BF to express his emotions to me. He always says he loves me and I want more. He says come on I am a guy....guys don't talk like that. I guess it is a trade off for having a manly man. What it comes down to is TALKING to him not yelling. Talk to him and tell him what issues you have. Let him tell you what issues he has.....try to work threw them....but you can't do that if it is not out in the open. Love is worth fighting for...so make a good effort. I know its hard when you fight you say things that you don't mean. Everyone does it.

holly1885 · 11-09-2005, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDphotogrl99

Well I can understand part of that. I am a very touchy feely person too and I want my BF to express his emotions to me. He always says he loves me and I want more. He says come on I am a guy....guys don't talk like that. I guess it is a trade off for having a manly man. What it comes down to is TALKING to him not yelling. Talk to him and tell him what issues you have. Let him tell you what issues he has.....try to work threw them....but you can't do that if it is not out in the open. Love is worth fighting for...so make a good effort. I know its hard when you fight you say things that you don't mean. Everyone does it.

We do talk about these things... I mean we have a long distance relationship so we talk about EVERYTHING! haha Its just that we dont get to see each other that much, and this weekend was sooo disasterous, like I was like YELLING at him, and I feel sooo bad about that. And now I dont know when Ill get to see him again because hes a DJ and its the holidays now and so he gets booked for like every weekend. So I dont know how to repair this. Like get us both to feeling good and happy again after such a bad weekend...