Still Another List - ThinnerTimes

Baron Patrick · 08-25-2005, 02:09 PM

This is a sample of "mom-isms" I use in my christian one-man-show I'm currently developing. So far I've collected over 150, thought you could use another laugh (seems lately we've all needed a few laughs!)

I swear my mom used all these at one time! I don't know how I kept a straight face on some of them! Enjoy!

"My momma always said: "

Your going out like THAT?
It’s always fun until someone gets hurt.
Stop it or you’ll go blind.
If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for you.
You are not leaving this table until you finish your dinner.
If you have to ask, the answer is no.
This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you.
What’s the magic word?
If you’re to sick to go to school, you’re to sick to go outside and play.
How did footprints get THERE!?
When are you going to get a real job?
I didn’t ask if you wanted to.
“M” is for Mother, not Maid.
This is for your own good.
Don’t make me come in there.
Why didn’t you go before we left?
If you lose it, I’m taking it away from you.
What part of NO don’t you understand?

My all time favorite:

I told you a million times, don't exaggerate!

peacefield · 08-25-2005, 02:27 PM

Hilarious! A lot of those sound very familiar

Remember these:

"If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."
"Do you want me to stop the car?"
"I'll turn this car around right now."

CharMc · 08-25-2005, 02:33 PM

How about:
"I brought you INTO this world, I can take you OUT!!!"

"Because I'M the mommy"

Oops, I guess I said these to MY kids, they got a lot of the others too.

Jeanie · 08-25-2005, 02:39 PM

How about "I made you and I can make another one just like you"!
My Mom use to tell me and my sister "if you don't stop I'm going to tell your Dad". I don't know why it worked but it did. For those of you who know me know that my Dad WOULD never do anything to me or my sister, but it worked for a long time. I think my Dad yelled at me maybe 10 times in my life, and he never once smacked us. Why you ask well that would be because I am the PRINCESS!!!! DUH....lol

lealphachienne · 08-25-2005, 04:09 PM

A lot of what my mother said was in Vietnamese, but still effective.

Alleusion · 08-25-2005, 05:43 PM

"Notme and Idunno are not children in this house"

Laura@BellaBabies · 08-25-2005, 06:53 PM

"If you don't stop I am going to sell you to the Indians!"

eyesthatkissu · 08-25-2005, 08:52 PM

I didn't have a Mom... but I have a few Momisms of my own....

You want what? Well would you like me to magically pull it out of my butt??

God gave you a brain... now use it!

You asked, I answered, come back when you have a different question.

I'm sorry I don't understand you, I don't speak "whine".

If you don't take better care of your clothes, I'm going to send you to school naked.

Your Daddy worked _____ hours to get this for us, you better be thankful.

If the cleanser doesn't work, throw in elbow grease.

Trust me kiddo, I'm smarter then you, I'll figure it out.

This isn't a resturant, you don't get to order, you eat what you are given or you starve.

The kitchen is closed!

I love you more then all the graind of sands in all the world, and that's a LOT of love!